In Caboose's mind both Tex and Church stood before Caboose's mental image along with Tucker who was frantically running around.
Caboose(Caboose): So you're from the outside. That's where the other is from as well.
Church: The other, wait, you mean O'Malley? Have you seen him?
Church(Caboose): You think Mister Caboose would miss something like the sleepy douchebag fuck?
Church: Alright, hold on a second. Who the hell are you?
Church(Caboose): My name is Church, Butt wiping ass munch!
Church: *whispers to Tex* This guys is kind of an asshole.
Tex: Yeah, we've met.
Church(Caboose): And I'm Caboose's best friend, so don't get any ideas about kissing up, you lip-licking fuck suck!
Church: Okay, there's a lot of stuff in that sentence that I didn't like.
Tex: Just play along Church. We're gonna need these guys if we're gonna find O'Malley.
Then the mental image of Freya arrived in her teal and cyan armour with her shotgun and was right beside Caboose's image.
Freya(Caboose): Hello everyone! Did I miss anything? Maybe I should go back and make dinner for our new guests.
Church: Oh, Freya doesn't seem to far fetched.
Freya(Caboose): And then we can all share the same bed together and hook up with each other all together and fuck around! I am a total slut!
Both Tex and Church both looked at each other in shock. Both slightly worried about how Caboose thought of her.
Church:...There it is...I'm glad she ain't here to see this.
Caboose(Caboose): If you want to find O'Malley, I suggest we talk to the Reds first.
He tried to recruit them against me early on.
Church: The Reds? The Reds are here?
Meanwhile in the real world the trio of Steve, Grif and Donut were stood next to the warthog. Supposedly finding the spare part, though Steve was getting ever more annoyed with Grif at Donut's talking.
Steve: Well, are you sure you left the part in there?
Donut: Hmm, think so. Wait, yes, no, wait... wait... wait... Wait...Mmmm, I think so.
Grif: *sighs* Alright so let's retrace your steps. You said it was Tuesday before Simmons Steve and Sarge got blown up that you were left in the warthog, right?
Donut: Right. I know it was a Tuesday because that's the day I wash my underwear. And since I don't like letting my armour touch my bare skin, on accounts of I chafe real easily, I remember thinking "Where can I hang out with no pants on?"
Steve: Oh sweet Jesus, oh hell please don't tell me you didn't!
As that was happening the Blues were all already on the march towards Red Base.
Tucker: Okay, well, looks like we're close enough!
Tucker was driving Sheila as Freya was riding on the front tracks, while Lopez had followed them. Though the mood between the blues was tense especially with Sheila and Tucker.
Tucker: Now if I could just find the break on this thing.... Ah, must be this button.
Sheila: Do not touch that button.
Tucker: Oh, sorry. Hmm, maybe it's this one.
Sheila: Do not touch me.
Freya: You know, for a girl your size, you're kinda sensitive.
As that was happening, the Reds were still beside the warthog, unaware of the looming danger. Though the talks Donut made kept getting worse and worse.
Grif: I cannot take anymore of this.
Steve: Uh! The things I could be doing, instead of listening to this!
Donut: So after I clip my toenails, I was gonna apply the ointment as recommended.
But I don't know, it just smells really funny. So I decided to taste it, just to make sure it was safe.
Steve: *almost vomited but was able to swallow it back down* You know what, screw this I'm going to play GTA V!
Grif: Take me with you!!
Donut: Hey! I didn't finish retracing my steps yet. You guys don't even know what I did about the boil on my thigh.
But as they were making their way into the base, Grif turned and saw the tank heading towards them.
Grif: Oh crap! Steve we've got some trouble!
Steve: What are you- *He then turned and saw* Oh fuck!
The Blues with Lopez and Shelia were approaching'. In that moment Steve and Grif quickly take cover behind the jeep.
Donut: Hey you guys came back! So where was I? Oh yeah, I lanced it. Disgusting! *makes creeped out noises*
Grif: Not now rookie! There's a giant tank out there that's about to steamroll right over us!
Donut: What?!
He then hopped up and down to see over the warthog only to sees Sheila approaching them.
Donut: Oh God it's true! I'm totally freaking out! I'm freaking out! *he runs around in circles.*
Steve: Donut keep calm! Get to cover!
Donut: *Running in circles* I can't, I'm freaking out to much!
As that was happening the Blues were still on the way though there was still the tense situation with the tank.
Tucker: Oh my God. I can't believe Caboose is smart enough to drive this thing and I'm not! Sheila how the fuck do I slow you down?
Sheila: Retard the throttle.
Tucker: What throttle? This throttle?
Sheila: Retard the controller.
Tucker: You mean this thing? What're you talking about, I'm so confused!
Sheila: The controller, retard!
Freya: Sheila just calm down alright.
Tucker: Hey that's kinda insulting. (Sheila repeats the word "retard" over and over as they approach Red base) Oh, come on. Now you' re just being mean.
Sheila:...retards.
~
Sorry for not updating soon enough, I'll get right back on track on this book.
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Red vs Blue and the Corporal Season 2
FanfictionRed vs Blue with a Corporal returns with season 2. More than 3 months had passed since Agent Tex arrived and brought chaos and confusion in Blood Gulch. Church now has Lopez's body, the reds are without Lopez as the blues are without Tex. Who is se...
