DERPY KIND! Gravity falls (reader insert)

Irrational Treasure

✨NO ONES POV:✨

The scene begins with the twins and you eating Corncornos inside Stan's car. Stan is honking while Mabel attaches nachos from her chip bag to her ears.

Mabel: Ha-ha! Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!
You nodded clapping.

Stan:     That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all...covered wagons? (Realizes in shock and horror) Oh no! No! No! (Pushes gas pedal) Not today! Not today!

A few women gasp in the presence of him nearly running them over. He backs up, and begins to drive the car backwards.

Dipper: Grunkle Stan, what's going on?
Stan: We gotta get outta here... Before it's too late! (Sees that his car his trapped between a group of covered wagons) They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! NOOOOOOOOO!!

Mabel: (Looks outside her window and sees a cow) I've got a good feeling about today.

✨THEME SONG✨

The twins, you, and Stan get out of the car and walk around an old fashioned-looking Main Street.

Dipper:    
Man, look at the town. (Holds a postcard up for a second. When he lowers it a little so you can see that the town is a sepia shade, but it is just due to a pane of dirty glass)

Worker    : (Walking by, holding one end of the pane of dirty glass) Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass.

Stan: Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded.

Toby:    (Approaches Stan as a paperboy) Welcome to 1863!

Stan: (Pulls up his left sleeve to threaten Toby) I will break you, little man!

Toby:    Ahh! (Runs away and crashes into a barrel)

Mabel and you look at a  view of people doing various activities, panning right. People doing candle dipping.

Mabel: Wow! Look! Candle dipping! ( she grabbed your arm excited)

People doing gold panning. Old Man McGucket, who is also gold panning, can be heard in the background, saying "Gold!"

Dipper: Whoa, gold panning!
Priest:    (To a man and woodpecker:) I now pronounce you man and wife.

Woodpecker: (Pecks her husband's hand)
Woodpecker guy: I do!

Mabel: (Confused) What chu talking 'bout?
Dipper: Oh yeah. I remember this. (Takes out Journal 3 while you look over his shoulder) In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers.

Woodpecker guy: Oh, it's still legal. (Puts a hand on his shoulder, where the woodpecker is perched) Very legal. (Walks away as the announcer speaks up)

Announcer: Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, you coming?

Stan: No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me!

Dipper: (Starts acting with a Southern twang in his voice) Thar's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!

You did a country dance while clapping your hands

Mabel: Well, hornswabber my haversack!

Dipper, you, and  Mabel spit on ground and run off, laughing as you just have your arms in the air running with them.

Stan: (Raises his fist, angrily) DEAD TO ME!!! EXPECT THE DERP!!!

A crowd assembles around a large stage.