Where You Go

9

Never in his life did he think that the paths he chose would lead him here. Kim Taehyung, someone he thought he would never be with in this situation, was here, pressed against him.

Soft lips that tasted slightly of salt, likely from his tears, pressed more into him, he stumbled back falling onto his bed bringing the other with him. Taehyungs lips detached from his in the fall and instead he hovered over top of him.

A thumping that beat erratically echoed in his head, realizing it was own heart he gulped at his predicament. His first kiss. His first kiss taken by someone he never expected.

All he could do was stare up at the other, frozen in his body, not knowing how to move at the moment. His hands were pressed against the chest above him keeping him where he was.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that"

Air panted out of him at the drunken admission from Taehyung. His arms shook at the weight of the other, he could feel himself starting to weaken and give out. When they did Taehyung came with them, putting his entire weight on him. Soft breaths hit against his neck, raising goosebumps overs his body.

He swallowed thickly. "Taehyung" his voice shook, his nerves getting the better of him. He poked at the others side, trying to squirm out from under him. A hand steadied him in place, holding his waist down.

"Don't go" Taehyung spoke against him.

No longer struggling he lied there in the darkness of the room listening to Taehyungs small snores that left him, he kept his eyes trained above, staring into the nothingness that was his room. His mind and heart were both shouting different things. Screaming at him. Both becoming too loud, unable to hide his ears away from the noise he endured it.

Spending these months with Taehyung he became aware that the other might have feelings for him. Figuring that he was imagining it, he shook it off. Jimins words had him thinking otherwise. Maybe he wasn't imagining it, maybe Taehyung did think more of him than just a friend. And then this, what just happened solidified it.

He was screwed.

He hated himself right now. His mind told him to push the other off, to hate him even more for kissing him. To run out of here and never come back. Possibly move in with his Joonie hyung for the time being. But his heart was a different story. And damn did he detest his heart right now.

Somewhere in his heart he liked it. He liked the feeling of the other against him. He had noticed it before, Taehyung was warm and his lips were soft. He was severely afraid, afraid that all of this was a game, that Taehyung was doing it on purpose. Quickly he shot that idea down. Young Taehyung would do this but this one that he had come to know wouldn't.

And that's why he was so conflicted right now. That's why he hated himself. How could he feel for someone like him? People change and he acknowledges that, he changed too. Thinking he would always harbor an ill feeling for the other clearly wasn't happening. Now he was thinking of Taehyung in that way, and not in just a friend way. This wasn't good.

In the morning hopefully he'd be able to slip away, he needed time to think about his feelings, get his thoughts in order. Maybe get some advice from his hyung. Definitely not Yoongi, he was afraid of what he'd think of the whole ordeal. Namjoon was the safe choice, he wouldn't judge him, instead he'd help in navigating everything.

He wasn't forgiving Taehyung, no way. Not this quickly, maybe he never would. He can only hope that maybe just maybe they'd be able to move past this as friends. That's what he would like. More than friends? He couldn't think about that right now, it would just jumble up more thoughts and feelings. That was a path he didn't want to go down, at least right now he didn't.