NOTE: The original author is Junior researcher Jackson spade on Amino, If you are them and you want this to be taken off the story PLEASE private message me this is your work and it is amazing so if you have a problem please contact me!
Warning: swearing, inappropriate innuendos, crack fic, veryyy long, had to change and delete some things due to the creators reputation, mentions of suicide, murder and sex
Word count: 7.8k
* Dr. Bright is not allowed to feed anything with peanut butter to Kain.
* Telling new researchers that you can tame SCP-682 with a rolled up newspaper and a tummy rub is right out.
* No longer allowed to challenge Able to unwinnable games like tic-tac-toe. It was three weeks before Able conceded a draw.
* SCP-018 is not to be taunted!
* Giving 113 to Diogenes is just plain pointless.
* Attempting to disprove 343, to 343, is a horrible idea. Agents are still studying the resulting paperweight, supposedly so heavy that 343 should not be able to lift it.
* While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is only because there is no such thing.
* Dr. Bright is not king of anywhere. Or queen.
* SCP-963 is not to be used for recreational or procreational purposes.
* Although it is entirely possible to use SCPs currently under control of the Foundation to create tentacle monsters, no.
* Not even if Dr. Palmer asks nicely.
* There is no market for SCP brand pornography.
* No, not even in Germany.
* It probably would generate a great deal of revenue if sold in Japan but still, 682 on █████, Jesus Christ man.
* Should not replace the buckshot in Dr. Clef's shotgun shells with any of the following: birdseed, confetti, cake sprinkles, sawdust, or sexual lubricant.
* Should not replace Dr. Rights' lamp with a "novelty" lamp shaped like a marital aid.
* Should not replace Dr. Rights marital aids with a 'novelty' aid shaped like a lamp.
* The Better Business Bureau is not the correct agency for dealing with containment failures from horrible eldritch artifacts sold by Marshall, Carter, and Dark.
* Any requests by Dr. Bright to utilize SCP-212 for enhancement are to be denied, due to several requests being submitted with the research goal stated as "to stick my privets in it and hope for the best."
* This includes requests to use it for enhancement of other organs. I don't care how awesome you think it would be, Bright. You should not be allowed to have telekinesis.
* Victims of SCP-217 are not toys.
* Dr. Bright is not allowed to bargain with personnel for their "souls" if they are unaware of SCP-158.
* Don't let Dr. Bright get a sample of SCP-379. Let my laptop be the last victim.
* Not allowed to go off my medication.
* Not allowed to pretend I have any medication to be on.
* May not use any form of the word 'accident' as an excuse.
* Violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays.
* No matter how many times you say please, Dr. Bright, we won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.
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Various Horror Characters x Reader (Fanfic & HCs)
FanfictionDISCLAIMER: This is NOT to be posted on any other website without permission! Cover not mine! Found on google! (as most of my covers are) This book has; Horror game characters SCP Foundation Creepypasta General horror stories and folklore Slashers ...
