Having alone time is a very precious time that you should always cherish.
I've been having two weeks just for me and nobody else. I've actually thought about life.
Will the job I have support me and my future?
I'm old enough to make my decisions.
The real world is hard.
I do miss Jai a lot but I actually don't see myself with him anymore.
I guess I lost interest in him. Or maybe I'm just in denial?
I was sat drinking my coffee to go off to work when there was a knock on my door. I walk over to it hoping that it wasn't someone ding dong ditching again.
When I opened the door I was surprised with couple dozen red roses.
"Heather Smith?"
"That's me" I said liking confused at the guy.
"These are for you" he said handing me a clipboard and a pen. "sign here please"
"Sure" I was still very unsure on who could've sent flowers. I usually get them when I get a new photoshoot invitation or something along those lines, but someone from the company brings them to me or they invite me over.
"Thanks" I smile at the guy. I take them and he walks off.
I walk inside and put them on top of my piano.
I looked at them. I took out the envelope and knew exactly who it was from the handwriting on it.
I opened it carefully and took out multiple pieces of paper.
Princess,
I love you. I can't get you out of my mind. It's not like I'm complaining, I just miss you. I miss having you with me. Its been too long and I want you with me, nobody else. I know I'm sounding very..... possessive. But I love you so much and can't see you with anyone but me. Selfish I know but that's what I want.
That was the first one.
Princess,
I was meant to send that to you a one Monday but I didn't know your address and I can't really mail it because the postal office might take longer. I really need your number. I want to talk to you. I want to show you something. I'm also sorry for what happened at your house.
that's was after it.
Princess,
I want these roses to represent you. Beautiful from the inside, but most importantly the inside. The inside is what's the beautiful part of it. You're my rose. You're not just a star in the sky, you're the whole damn sky. Baby girl, I never thought I would fall deeply in love with someone like I have with you. I love staring at your face because everything about it is perfect. Your eyes. your lips. your nose. those lips. your teeth. them lips. The way you make random faces when your confused or don't like something. I love your awkwardness. I love your inside. I love your personality. I love your jokes even though other people find them lame I fine them funny as fuck. Anyways, what I want is for you to forgive me.
Love you.
Jai
Jai is honestly very sweet but there's something stopping me.
I grab my keys and head off to work.
-
I couldn't get Jai out of my mind, but also I couldn't get Joshua out either.
I'm so confused on my feelings. I don't know who I really like and who I just like as a friend.
I'll let this thing calm itself down.
I eventually know who I want to be with. Now I have to focus on what I'm here for. Work.
