hell gets a alien ( X Reader hazbin hotel and helluva boss)

imp

Blitzo: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... (looks at Moxxie) Moxxie.

[Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response.]

Blitzo: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Y/n: we could do a 1 hit free promotion for all our new customers. Then after the good job they'll see us do. They'll come to us for all their assassination needs.

Blitzo: ok that's good. But we can't be doing free shit right now. We're in red for cash right now. What else?

Millie: (eyes sparkling) What about a car wash?

Blitzo: This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay?

Y/n: (whispers) good idea Millie

Millie: (whispers) thanks y/n (she then blows you a kiss.)

You blush secretly

Blitzo: (thinks for a second) Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?

[He waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.]

Moxxie: (rolls eyes) We can't afford a billboard, sir.

Y/n: yeah you just said we're in the red for cash. So how can we afford a billboard?

Blitzo: y/n hush!

Blitzo: (wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder) Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. (pushes Moxxie away) Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

[Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, you melt a guy's head off with your mana vision, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with you, Loona, Millie, and Blitzo eating popcorn.]

Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.

Y/n: that's the reason we're broke really?

Moxxie: yes and that's only on the top of reasons.

Blitzo: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir.

Y/n: define the type of musicals. Some people just sleep through those musicals. Like the opera.

Blitzo: Y/n I thought I said hush and exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. (does jazz hands) Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Sir--

Blitzo: 'Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Millie: Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I-- What?

Millie: y/n would never do that. Would you y/n? (Bats her eyes at you.)

Y/n: depends if it's stupid or not. (You give her bedroom eyes.)