Superhuman (Harry Styles)

•Part Nine•

Okay guys. I can assure you this is the saddest chapter I have ever written in my life and I must prepare you for the tears you are about to shed. Please don't hate me, this chapter is necessary for whats to come between Harry and Devon. Now, with that said, don't hate me for this chapter, I swear on my life the next chapter everything will be fine again, and this chapter ten it's gonna be extremely long, so count on a post on Sunday or Monday. Again, please don't hate me.

Oh, btw. There is no Zophiel or Michael drama in this chapter AT. ALL. its all Harry and Devon.

Begin the saddest chapter you will ever read in your life but I PROMISE it will all be okay again by the end of the next chapter. I swear.

AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY; JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW. (:

-Devon's Point Of View.-

"I don't understand." I said for the third time that day; I was really beginning to feel like an utter idiot. Harry and Gemma sat opposite of me, beside each other giving me different looks. Harry's look was one full of complete misery, as if this was the last thing he wanted to talk about with me around; while Gemma's look held sorrow and a little bit of frustration.

"Zophiel is-he's like-" Gemma sighed in frustration, throwing her head back against the couch.

"He's like a murderer's assistant. Not as bad as he could be, given the circumstances, but very bad still." Harry answered; I noticed a slight flush in his cheeks and a haunting gleam in his eyes, one I would never forget even if I was cursed to live longer than God.

"Alright, I understand that." I snapped. I wasn't a total idiot.

"He's God's spy; his assigned job is to keep up with all the angels and fallen angels alike. He's supposed to keep them all in check-make sure they don't do anything they aren't supposed to. Kind of like a parent to a child." Gemma explained to me, and with that explanation I understood why this was all so very, very bad.

"Harry, what was the promise that you made?" I turned and looked at him; he looked tired and like he could use some alone time. He looked at me then away quickly, as if he couldn't stand the sight of me. I felt as if someone had robbed me of my air, and I had to choke on a sob.

"I promised him I would never get close to you, that I would never see you or love you or touch you or anything." He said without looking at me. With his statement the air really was stolen from my lungs.

My hand flew up to my chest as I tried to breathe. My lungs rejected the air I tried to pull in, as if the air was a toxin; my body would not accept it.

I felt arms embrace me; my head was pulled into someone's chest as I tried to breathe. I felt like someone had stuck a white hot branding iron down my throat.

"What's wrong with her?" Gemma sounded panicked and her face suddenly appeared in front of me, but it wasn't clear for long; her image began to swim before my eyes. I felt Harry's arms tighten around me at the mention of something being wrong with me.

"Panic attack." He muttered to her, paying attention to only me as he pushed the tangled blonde hair out of my eyes. Harry began to rock me in a soothing motion as he began to sing to me;

Settle down with me,

Cover me up,

Cuddle me in.

Lie down with me,

And hold me,

In your arms.

And your hearts against my chest,

Your lips pressed to my neck.

I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet.

This feeling I won't forget, I'm in love now.

Kiss me like you wanna be loved,

You wanna be loved,

You wanna be loved.

This feels like fallin' in love.

Fallin' in love,

Fallin in love.

{A/N: For those of you who aren't an Ed Sheeran fan like I am, (May God bless your souls if you are not,) this song is called Kiss me, give it a listen it'll change your life. Seriously. Listen to it.}

As he quietly sang my favorite song to me in my ear, I felt myself begin to calm down in his arms, my body giving out surprisingly at once as the stiffness left my body.

"That's it, love," Harry whispered to me. "Just breathe; in and out, in and out." He kissed my clammy forehead.

"How did you know singing to her would calm her down?" Gemma's voice sounded far away, as if I were listening to her speak underwater, or through a glass cup held against the door.

"It always has." He didn't elaborate to her, as if it wasn't important enough for him to talk about.

"Are you okay now?" He looked down at me with worry in his eyes. I nodded. He helped pull me into a sitting position, forcing me to sit on his lap; his warm body posed as a warm support for me, keeping me upright and strong.

But my worry was far from gone, it was still totally alive. Harry had promised he would stay away from me and he hadn't, and now Zophiel wanted proof that he hadn't gone back on his word; when he had. I was the reason all this had happened to him. I was the reason he lost his wings, his family, his life; it was my entire fault. And now, as if all that hadn't been enough, I was going to take myself away from him too.

"I can't." I whispered, the words feeling foreign in my mouth; they didn't belong there.

"What?" Harry asked me; I turned my head to face him with tears I was sure were there. I could tell by the look on his face he knew exactly what I was talking about; but he didn't want to accept the words he knew he was about to hear.

"I can't-I can't deal with this. With Michael, with you, with what you are with what I am. I thought I could handle it, but I was wrong. I was so terribly wrong and I'm sorry that I led you on. I hate myself for it, and I hate myself for this but I can't stay here, I can't be with you Harry."

His face completely crumbled; I would never forget the raw sorrow on his face as I pulled away from him. The pleading I saw deep within his eyes, the words he so desperately wanted to say to me to get me to stay never fully leaving his lips. His sister stared at the two of us, mouth agape. Though not a single word left her lips either. I jerked my gaze from Harry as I saw a single tear land on his cheek, for I knew if I stayed with him a second longer I would never be able to leave.

I stumbled up the stairs; tears blinding my vision, causing me to trip twice. I expected to hear heavy footfall behind me. I expected to have to beg and plead and finally have to say something hurtful to Harry to get him to let me go, but I needn't do any of those things, because Harry did not follow me.

I was unsure as to how I felt about him not following me. I was nearly disappointed; not because I wanted the attention, but because I had a small hope that Harry would come up stairs, force me down onto the bed and whisper sweet nothings in my ear until he fully convinced me not to leave him; it wouldn't have been hard because I didn't want to go.

Oh, Dear God I did not want to leave. It was undeniably selfish of me. If Harry had come up and said 'Do not leave me, I need you.' I would have stayed, regardless of the danger I would put him in because I needed Harry like I needed air to survive, and any excuse for me to stay with him I would have happily excepted.

Though, this I like to think was a large act of bravery on my part, leaving him. Because I knew this would protect him. He would be safe and Michael would probably leave him alone and he wouldn't have to lie to Zophiel. Though this sacrifice would surely be the end of me, it would save Harry from all the danger and heartache.

And that was worth everything. I would accept damnation with a smile if it meant Harry would stay safe.

I had all my clothes gathered up, everything I could possibly fit into my small duffel bag. I slung the strap over my shoulder and slid the window open with such force the window pane shuttered. I had one leg out the window when a voice startled me.

"The window? Classic getaway, Devon." Harry's voice echoed around the room, startling me to the point of nearly falling out of the window. Harry made no movement to save me from hurtling out of the window and that hurt more than the fifty foot drop ever could.

"Harry I-"

"I did not come up here to convince you to stay," Harry stated simply. "Though I cannot lie I want to. But you are very stubborn, and I can see the decision in your eyes as I speak to you, you're leaving tonight and nothing I'm going to say will change that fact." He didn't sound sad anymore, just very old and tired, though the look in his eyes made him look like a very young child.

"I'm sorry Harry." I whispered so quietly. Please Harry, please convince me to stay. Don't let me go. I thought the words I couldn't say, begging him to be listening to my thoughts, but if he heard them; he remained silent.

"What of Niall?" Harry asked me, no longer looking at me but at the floor.

"Tell him I'm sorry." The answer flew out of my mouth before I could even think of the correct proper words I wanted to say. He looked up at me then, and the shocking loneliness in his eyes is a thing I will never forget.

"Won't that cause you pain? Heartache?" Harry sounded unsure; as if he wasn't sure he wanted the answer.

"Heartache is all I've ever known, Harry." And with that, I climbed out the window and slammed it shut.

People say that heartbreak is just imagined. People bring it about as a way to describe a pain so large it tears your soul apart, rips you in half, leaves you wounded and never the same forever. It hurts and it's painful, but there is no actual pain, you're just numb. But they never tell you there is actual real physical pain involved. They never tell you that your heart rips apart in your chest, causing you to stumble into a dark alley, clawing at the walls like a madwoman, or how the sobs rip through your body uncontrollably for hours until your chest feels like it's going to break open. They never tell you what it feels like when the sobs finally pass; not because you are no longer sad but because the physical grief just overtakes your whole body and puts you in a silence where no one can reach you. A darkness so deep that there is no hope of ever returning. No one ever tells you about how the tears eventually run dry because you can't find the strength to create any more. They never mention how the numbness begins to take over your body and how you suddenly find yourself unable to care about one single person, not even yourself. Someone could stumble upon you wielding a knife and threaten to cut you into pieces and you couldn't care less, you'd beg them to. Just to make it all stop. To make the pain that you can't feel but you know is there to go away, for someone to put you out of your misery; you'd beg them to just make your pain go away.

I sat alone in the dark of the alley, the tears and the sobs long out of my body. My chest was physically sore, from what I didn't know. It had begun to rain some time ago, but in my misery I didn't take notice; my clothes were
soaked, the coldness bitting at my skin but I barely felt it. I spotted a piece of sharp glass at my foot and I recklessly grabbed at it, unforgivingly slashing at my hand searching for any feeling, any sign that my body wasn't totally numb but I came short because I didn't feel a thing.

I dropped the piece of glass as if it had burned me and stared blankly ahead. I knew I should probably get up and drag myself home before someone found me and decided to have some fun, but I couldn't bring myself to care about my wellbeing and my life; because if Harry wasn't in it, nothing was important anymore.

"Devon?" I heard someone whisper but I didn't respond; I didn't lift my head or show any sign that I had heard the person at all. I heard footsteps coming near me and I wondered if it was someone here to kill me.

I sincerely hopped that was the case.

But as my eyes met ice blue ones, ones completely like my own, I realized he wasn't here to kill me, probably here to do just the same. The rain had his usually spiky hair smashed down to his head; his blue eyes nearly a distant grey as he stared at me. He had sorrow and grief in his eyes for me and I wanted to tell him to stop, that I didn't want or need him and that he should just leave me to be by myself. But when I opened my mouth I was surprised to hear a sob erupt from my chest, one that was so deep and emotional, it startled even me. I didn't think I had any more grief inside of me to create a sob like that, but I did.

-Niall's Point Of View.-

Harry's name escaped from her lips as she sobbed louder. It was the most heartbroken sound I had ever heard come out of anyone's body. Her hair was in knots as it rested on her shoulders and her mascara ran down her face in trails from both the rain and the tears. She was soaked to the bone as I grabbed onto her and pulled her to me. Her body was so cold and so small, I wanted to cry with her. She had a rather deep looking cut on her hand and I quietly pondered where it had originated, but I couldn't find it in me to ask her; not when she was creating such sounds of pain.

Her fingers fisted into my shirt as she held on to me like I held on to her when I was younger. It was nice for a change, to be there for her when she needed me and not the other way around.

I knew why she was here, and I knew why she was so broken. She had left Harry, Gemma had told me. I hadn't seen Harry at all for Gemma said he had locked himself in his room, refusing to come out or speak to anyone; though the loud shattering noises I had heard just moments before I left the house gave me a clue as to how he was handling this.

I knew why Devon had done what she did; she wanted to protect him. I could hear it in her mind; it was behind all the broken images of her and Harry. Behind all the laughs and kisses and memories they shared, it lied in a deep dark box, one that was pulsing with black coils. She felt guilt, everything was her fault, and as she broke apart in my arms, I broke a little too.

I picked her up in my arms, momentarily astounded at how light she felt. I carried her back to my car and placed her in the front seat, paying no mind to how wet the seat was getting because of her. I jogged around the side of the car and got in; cranking the heat as I did so.

"Harry," She mumbled his name; at the sound of it she retched another sob as if it hurt her worse to say it herself.

"It's okay, Love. I'm taking you home." I whispered to her, and she started to cry again.

"Is Harry going to be there?" She mumbled to me, her head turned towards the window watching the rain as it poured buckets.

"Do you want him to be?" I asked her quietly, the only sounds to be heard were the sound of her rapid breathing against the sound of my quiet breathing.

"I need him to be." She mumbled, "But he must never see me again, even if I need him; even if I am on my death bed and request to be with him, I shall never be permitted because all I have ever been for him is heartache and grief and that's all I'll ever be." She sounded like she had come from another time, like she was born in the eighteenth century, not the twentieth.

"You don't sound like yourself, Devon." I whispered to her. She turned and looked at me; the death in her eyes haunted me, and I couldn't get rid of the irrevocable feeling that I might have just lost Devon forever, that whatever pain she had caused herself; she wouldn't come back from it.

"Because it is not Devon you are talking to, Niall. You are talking to Rebecca and Katherine and Isobel. They've been holding their grief back from me, the grief of losing Harry because they have been waiting for me to feel it myself, so they could share it with me. Share their grief and pain, and it feels unlike any feeling I have ever known."

-Harry's Point Of View.-

I threw the TV across the room and felt oddly satisfied as it hit the ground with a loud thump and lay there, broken.

Much like me, I thought to myself. Broken and useless.

The second Devon climbed out that window I watched every good thing about me go with her. I felt hollow inside, empty. As if Devon had taken my soul with her. Hell, she had in a way. There was nothing left of me without her. Nothing. I was nothing and that's all I ever would be.

I can't be with you, Harry. Her sweet voice echoed in my head over and over again; never giving me a second to heal, only punching me in the stomach every time I was able to breathe again; robbing me of my breath once more until I was writhing on the floor begging the universe to end it all.

This was worse than watching her die; if that was even possible. At least then I knew she was leaving the world, leaving me because she had to, not because she chose to. And the fact that she chose to leave me was eating me alive.

I was thankful I hadn't ever gotten close to any of her past lives; because if losing them without ever meeting them was bad, then knowing them and losing them would have been pure agony.

I saw it in her eyes and felt it in her touch; she loved me.

So why did she leave me?

I found myself in my bathroom staring at my face in the mirror. The sight of me was astonishing. I somehow had blood on my forehead dripping from my temple and I distantly remembered tripping over my own feet and landing the side of my head on the bed post.

It would have killed an ordinary human in a second; you couldn't survive a blow like that.

I wish it had killed me.

Because this pain; it was too much. It was unlike any feeling I had ever known.

I landed a punch to the mirror without realizing I had even moved a muscle. I stared at the blood that poured from my knuckles with a sick fascination. I hadn't even realized Gemma's entrance. I had only realized she was there when she pulled me to her and rocked back and forth, holding me in her arms. As she pulled me to her I realized I wanted to cry into her shoulder and scream and sob because she was my older sister and I needed her.

"It's okay, Harry, it's okay. She'll come back." She whispered in my ear over and over again. I heard someone sobbing loud sobs, sobs where they couldn't breathe enough air back into their lungs to make a proper sob; so they just sounded like the breath was knocked out of them. They sounded so heartbroken; so lost and alone and I wanted them to be okay again,

But then it realized it was me making those sounds.

Then I sobbed harder.

Forty Votes and Tweny Comments for next chapter! (:

A note from the editor: Be sure to give Hailey a HAPPY BIRTHDAY in the comments, also! :D