[MABONTLE]
I feel bad for not telling Fikani that I have a doctor’s appointment today. This is still his child at the end of the day but I don’t want to see his face. I always have my appointments early in the morning so I can come back home and continue sleeping. One of my dad’s drivers has brought me here and immediately left. He says I’ll call him when I’m done. I didn’t even want to argue because he knows damn well that he was supposed to get that instruction from me, but I’m too sad to even begin going back and forth with him. After I’m done at reception, I see Mac about to walk out. He sees me and comes in my direction.
‘Hey. What are you doing here?’ I ask.
‘Hi. Came to take out a tooth. It’s been giving me hell and I thought I could ignore it’
‘From a doctor, trust me when I say that’s never a good idea’
He laughs. ‘I know, I know. Didn’t know you were a dentist’
‘I’m not. I’m a GP by profession’
‘Impressive!’
I’m surprised but not shocked to bump into him here. We use the same doctors and they’re all in the same building.
‘And now you can no longer practice…’ he says, with some sadness and pity attached.
‘I’m gonna go back when my baby is slightly older’
The look on his face tells he doesn’t want to say much.
‘But can’t you see that the floor is wet?’ we hear a castigating voice coming from behind us. She has a mop in hand and urging us to move forward.
‘But you’re supposed to have a Wet Floor warning board here’ I answer back. She continues mopping the corridor. Patients could get hurt!
‘Don’t’ Mac says to me, trying to conceal a smile. He’s not offended, I am! She reminds me of this other disrespectful lady who used to work at the first hospital where I was practicing. I once told her that she shouldn’t speak to patients the way she was and she told me that my qualification doesn’t mean I’m above my elders. I hate it so much when people frustrate sick people because they’re already dealing with so much already. A person is frail in health and you want to add onto that? Mac gingerly puts his hand on my upper back and encourages me to walk in the direction that this woman is urging us in. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind. You don’t bring your personal problems and attitude to work, especially if your workplace is a hospital.
‘It’s not worth it. Breathe…’ he insists. ‘You’re very stubborn, neh?’ he says and this forces me to laugh. What does he mean by that? Anyway, my gynae is probably waiting for me.
‘It’s the hormones. Can’t wait for this person to evacuate my body’ I joke. It’s probably not. My friends say I’m only sweet when I’m not angry.
‘Well at least you’re carrying well. Pregnancy looks good on you. Anyway, I have to go. Duty calls’
He goes in the other direction probably to find another exit. I do what I have to do and go back home.
I find my dad sitting on the dining table and reading a newspaper. When last did I see one?
He folds it when he sees me and offers me a seat. I know what he wants to talk about and although I’m not in the mood, it’s a conversation that has to be had.
‘My angel’
‘Morning daddy’
‘What happened? Did he hit you?’
Him and always getting straight to the point. Why doesn’t he ask first how my trip to the doctor was?
‘No, dad. Fikani has never laid a hand on me’
He relaxes after I say this.
‘Okay then tell me what happened?’
‘He cheated and impregnated somebody else’
‘That’s why you’re here?’ I turn around and see Aunt Basani. I didn’t hear her driving in. Or was she already here? I also did not see her car outside. She’s definitely not impressed.
‘Can I have a moment with this child?’ she says to my dad.
‘No I am taking her back. You know the rules brother and you also know that I don’t make them’
Dad sighs and takes off his glasses. What does she mean she’s taking me back?
‘Come, let’s go talk in the bedroom’ her hand is on my upper arm, urging me to get up. I do as she says.
She almost tumbles over in shock when she sees my suitcase.
‘Wena! Are you aware that this is no longer your home? When you come here, you bring an overnight bag, not that mountain of clothes. Wa hlola nah?!’
I look away. She pulls me to the bed and we sit down.
‘Were you not the one who was in the middle of us while we told you what and what not to do?’
I was but I don’t afford her an answer.
‘Were you not the one nodding when your Aunt Miyelani was telling you that there will be other women and that it’s inevitable? Were you not the one nah? Answer me when I’m talking to you child!’
‘But Aunty—‘
‘Hey ssshh!!’
I’m on the brink of tears. I don’t like being scolded.
‘Where’s your kist?’
‘In his bedroom’
‘YOUR bedroom – you and him, and you’re here? We explained everything to you down to a tee. That kist represents your coffin. We no longer have right to bury you. You can’t just up and leave like you’re a little girl. You’re a woman now, a mother to be!’
They drop and I wipe them with the back of my hand.
‘I am your eldest living aunt. Why are you dragging my name through the mud? The Ngobenis will be looking at me with disappointed eyes, wondering what it is I was teaching you when I had you locked up in this very room before handing you over!’
She’s angry. I’m used to her laughing and joker self. The fact that she’s fully on Fikani’s side hurts. That man broke my heart but I’m expected to just understand that he did so because he’s a man? By virtue of him being a man, he has all the rights to trample on our relationship but if I do, just once, everyone will crucify me? What did I get myself into?
‘Do you know why I have to remain unmarried?’ she asks and I shake my head. I truly don’t know and right now I’m not interested.
‘I am guarding this chieftaincy and all that comes with it. Part of that responsibility is that, there is no ceremony that has to do with any of my brother’s kids I can afford to miss. My sister is gone. If I die, you’ll all be in trouble. I cannot carry another surname over my head because then all the ties I have with this one will be broken. You on the other hand, are a married woman. The fire that was burning all night outside prior to your wedding day represented what marriage is like. The rule is that it has to burn until nothing but ashes are left. If someone puts it out, that would declare your marriage doomed before it even starts. Hence there was always someone there to make sure that nobody pulls any funny tricks. That person was guarding your marriage and that person is me’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means… whatever trials and tribulations you come across in your marriage, you endure until you yourself burn out and die. If you keep playing the games you’re playing now, those people will replace like…’ she snaps her fingers. ‘There are many princesses that would love to give your husband an heir. The moment you step out of your marriage, this child you’re carrying loses all the privileges of being called that, if it’s a boy. Your mother in-law, my friend Xongi, was married to the worst husband in the world and the fact that she stayed, is the reason why you’re married to a king today. No throne will belong to a man whose mother is divorcee, never!’
She sighs and sits closer to me, pulling my head to her bosom.
‘It hurts aunty! It hurts because I wouldn’t even think of cheating on him’
‘You won’t vele because we made sure of it. For as long you’re a Ngobeni bride, you’re never stepping outside of that family’
What does she mean by that?
‘One day, we will sit and I’ll tell you all about your mother’s time here. A king doesn’t cheat. For now, wipe those tears and—‘
My phone rings. Aunty sees that’s Fikani. She takes it and hands it to me.
‘Answer your husband’s call’ she strictly insists when I hesitate. I take the phone from her and exhale.
‘Hey’
‘Khalanga! This child! Hey to who?’ Aunty asks with a sharp frown on her face.
‘Morning Mlambya’
‘Good’ she says and finally gives me some privacy.
‘Baby. Who’s that?’
‘My aunt, but she left. What can I do for you?’
‘I’m on my way to come pick you up. We need to talk about this’
‘I’m due for a nap’
‘You can come nap in my bed’
Then find myself bending my own rules and naked? No, thank you.
‘I won’t do anything to you’ he guarantees like he’s just read my mind.
‘I’m not coming to your house’
‘Okay we won’t go home but we still need to talk’
‘Fine’ I cut the call and throw the phone back on the bed. He arrives five minutes later, meaning he was already on the way when he called. What if I had said no? I go to him and find him dressed like the criminal he is. He’s not in a suit today. He left the king at home and brought the boyfriend here. If we were on good terms, I was going to take that black beanie on his head.
‘Morning momma’ he greets after I get into the passenger seat.
‘Hey’
‘How are you? Have you had breakfast?’
‘I’m okay and yes I did’
I’m only paying attention to the lyrics of the song that’s playing in his car now.
“It's just the cutest thing when you get to fussing (Cussing)
Yelling and throwing things, I just wanna eat you up
I don't mean no disrespect when I start staring knowing that it makes you madder
I'm sorry but seeing you mad is so sexy
Could it be the little wrinkle over your nose when you make your angry face
That makes me wanna just take off all your clothes and sex you all over the place
Could it be the way you storm around that makes me wanna tear you down
Baby, I ain’t sure but one thing that I know is
Everytime you scream at me, I wanna kiss you
Baby when you put your hands on me, I wanna touch you
When we get to arguing, just gotta kiss you
Baby, I don’t know why it’s like that but you’re so damn sexy when you’re mad
Baby don’t think I don’t take you seriously but I just can’t help the fact that your attitude excites me”
Does he think this a joke?
I’m a lot calmer than I was yesterday but nothing has changed. I’m still leaving him.
‘I’m not losing you, Mabontle’ he states, matter-of-factly.
His aim is make me go mad, right? That’s what it is?
‘If you did not want to lose me, you would’ve acted like you cared about me’
‘I do care about you, more than you’ll ever know’ he steps out of the car and comes to my side. He squats on the ground and takes my hand.
‘I meant every word when I said I love you. You made me want to commit at first sight. Forgive my foolish heart baby, I’ll do better’
‘Do you want to marry her?’
‘How many times am I supposed to tell you that you’re the only wife for me?’
‘But you still cheat!’
‘I was dumb, I’m sorry. Please come back home’
‘This relationship is over’
‘The fvck it’s not. You’re not gonna tell me that we’re over when I’m the one who initiated this whole thing. Were you the one who decided to marry?’
‘If I knew what was in store, I wouldn’t have agreed’
‘But you agreed and we’re here now. What ifs and could’ves won’t help us with anything. I want us to focus on the way forward. Come back home and stop sitting here on the street like you’re single’
He’s making me mad. ‘Where would you prefer I sit Fikani?’
‘On your husband’s face. Come home’
I go speechless.
‘I’m well aware that I have disappointed you. May my ancestors be my witnesses. Should I ever want to take another wife, you’re free to walk out and leave. I promise I won’t follow you’
‘You don’t want another wife but you want mistresses’
He drops his face.
‘It won’t happen again, I swear. I’m done with all that’
I don’t know what to say to him.
‘I’ll fight for you for as long as it takes’
‘Even if it takes ten years’
‘Doesn’t matter, as long as you keep my kraal closed. You’re worth fighting for’
‘You may be willing to fight but I’m not doing any of that. Move on with your life and allow me to do the same’
‘Allow you to what?’ he asks with a lifted brow.
‘To move on’
‘Move on to where?’
‘To a man who will treat me right!’
He laughs and gets up. ‘I’d like to see you try’, I hear him say as walks back to the driver’s seat.
