The Fall

107. Where are you going to work your magic, Nat?

JUNE 22, 2019 — NEW YORK — RÉA

"Try these next", Nat says, dangling several hangers over the door to the dressing room.

"Okay," I reply, taking the hangers from her.

I'd asked Pepper if she wanted to join us, but she'd declined; however, she did call ahead to the department store and managed to get permission for us to use the staff entrance and corridors—so we could avoid the crowds—and procure a private fitting area, complete with comfortable seating. I've been in the fitting room for almost an hour, trying on lingerie while Nat and Wanda sit outside. I'm doing my best to pick something while avoiding my reflection. I was so excited about this idea...then I tried on the first set, looked in the mirror, and saw the scars.

And it's not as if I don't know they're there: I see them every day. It's just that, in my anticipation and excitement, I forgot—just for a moment. The first set was a satin bra and bikini panty in a soft lilac color. The material felt nice on my skin, and while I could see from my reflection that it accentuated all of my curves, I also noticed just how many of the scars were visible. It was the same with everything else I tried on: I could see the beauty, but my only real focus was on the scars...and I couldn't help but wonder if they'd be all Bucky would notice, too.

I look at what Nat just handed me, and sigh. The items on the hangers are my favourites so far...feminine, sexy yet elegant, and I love the color. There's an unlined demi bra, a pair of bikini panties, and a high-waisted garter belt, all in a gorgeous, teal lace. I put everything on and slowly look into the mirror. I gasp, tears springing to my eyes. I can still see the scars, but this set covers a lot of the worst ones, and I...I actually feel pretty.

"Sweetie, is everything alright?" Wanda asks, concern in her voice.

"Yes," I reply. "Everything is fine."

After taking another moment to look at my reflection, I change back into my clothes, hang everything back up, and then open the dressing room door.

"Nat, you found the perfect set. Thank you," I say; she nods in response. Clearing my throat, I continue. "Since there's a garter belt, should I...should I get stockings? And what about...do I need a 'date night' outfit?"

"Definitely get stockings; you might as well get the full effect," Nat says. "But as for the outfit, I was thinking: what if you just wear your normal stuff, but wear this ensemble underneath? A pair of leggings and one of your big, long-sleeve button-down tunics would be great over this, and I think that wearing your usual clothing will help you be comfortable. Plus, once you take off your clothes and Bucky sees that," she gestures to the hangers I'm holding, "underneath, it'll pack an extra wallop."

"I'm with Nat on this," Wanda says.

"Alright, then," I say.

"I'll take your things and grab you some stockings and then go pay. I'll meet you two at the car," Nat says.

"Thank you," I reply.

The three of us leave the fitting area; Wanda and I head to the car. Nat joins us several minutes later; once we're all in the car with my shopping bags stowed in the trunk, I speak.

"I...um...there's something else I'd like to do. I...I want to get my hair cut. Do we have enough time for that?" I ask.

"There's time, yes," Nat says. "But—"

"Are you sure?" Wanda interrupts.

I take a deep breath, before exhaling shakily.

"I am...was...am..." I stammer. "I've always kept it long, because that's how my mother's was in the picture of her and my father: waist length, and the same color as mine. And keeping mine that same length was a way to feel a little bit close to her. But I..."