The Fall

154. Raw.

NOVEMBER 7, 2019— NEW YORK — BUCKY

After Réa falls asleep, I carry her into the bedroom and gently lay her on the bed.

I carefully settle beside her, sitting with my back against the headboard, and let the tears I've been holding back fall.

Walking into the bathroom and seeing Réa scrubbing her skin raw broke my heart...her saying she needed to get clean shattered it.

'My sweet, precious Réa...I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,' I think the thought that I've had dozens of times.

If she could, she'd know that she's strong...brave...beautiful...incredible.

Eventually, my tears subside.

I sit, watching her sleep; after a long while, I drift off, too.

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I wake to the sounds of Réa's thundering heartbeat and her whimpering.

Looking at her, I see she's still asleep, but it's clear she's having a nightmare.

"Shhh, sweetheart, you're safe. You're alright," I murmur, gently stroking her cheek.

She whimpers again, a crease forming between her brows.

"Bucky," she whines. "No...I'll go..."

I stroke her cheek again.

"Réa, sweetheart, wake up."

She doesn't wake, but the crease between her brows smooths out. I watch her for several moments; when she seems to be out of the nightmare, I close my eyes. I've just started to fall back asleep when repeated screams of my name have my eyes flying open.

I look at Réa; she's still asleep, but her expression is distressed as she calls out for me.

I place my hand on her shoulder and gently shake her awake; her eyes fly open, wide and terrified before her gaze focuses on me.

"Bucky?" she asks, her voice thick with tears, before she launches herself at me, clinging tightly.

"I'm here, doll, I'm right here. Shhhh," I soothe as I rub her back. "I've got you. It's alright...you're alright. You're safe."

I feel her shake her head.

"N-n-not m-me...y-you," she sobs. "H-he...y-y-you..." she trails off as she cries even harder.

"I'm alright, Réa."

I hold her until she calms, then I gently lay her back down, cupping her face in my hands. I brush my thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away her tears.

"It was just a nightmare, sweetheart."

She shakes her head again.

"N-no...you...Ol-Olc..."

'Oh, Réa...' I think as I realize what her nightmare was about.

"It wasn't real, Réa. It was just a nightmare. I promise. I'm right here, and I'm okay."

Her eyes rove over my face, before she speaks again.

"H-hold me? P-please?"

I don't hesitate; I slide down until I'm lying beside her and pull her into my arms. I hold her, occasionally pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. After a long while, her breathing once again becomes slow and even with sleep; it doesn't take long before I follow.