Every Part Of Us

14. Heart eyes

In all twenty three years of my life never had I felt like this. I was used to my normal, even if that normal was different from everyone else.

But in this moment I hated how different I felt. I hated that twisting feeling I had in my stomach. I knew what it meant, I knew as I felt my lips turn up in a smile exactly what was happening to me.

I liked someone. I actually liked someone and it wasn't just in a I want to be their friend type of way. I'd never been envious of my friends when they got into relationships, I'd been subjected to all of Jake and Evan's happiness plenty of times and I hadn't ever been jealous of what they had.

I had my friends and that's all that mattered. Maybe once upon a time I'd searched out a relationship but it hadn't ever ended well so I was happy with what I had.

Of course all of that had to go to shit. I didn't think I'd ever be able to want to kiss someone again and yet I did. I didn't think I'd find someone I was interested in and yet here I was smiling stupidly at my phone.

All of this because Reid had texted me.

I was seriously fucking pathetic.

"You want to play football this weekend?" I asked my two friends.

The couple had two very different reactions to my question, which didn't surprise me in the slightest.

"I'd rather move back home." Evan groaned.

Jake kicked his boyfriend's leg.

"We could go to that park by your house," Jake offered ignoring his boyfriend's pout.

"Can I just watch you two run around?" Evan questioned.

"You were literally captain of your football team, act like it." I rolled my eyes.

"Just because I was good at it doesn't mean I have to like it."

And I knew that to be true. Evan didn't have a great relationship with the sport and when he graduated he was happy to put it all behind him. But Jake loved the sport and I knew if Jake was going to play then Evan wouldn't be far behind.

"You'll act like you like it for the day." Jake told him.

"What did I tell you about bossing me around." Evan glared.

"That you love it." Jake grinned widely.

"This is why I used to hate you." Evan joked.

"Can you two stop doing your weird foreplay where I can see it." I complained.

I loved my friends but sometimes I couldn't stand just how obsessed they were with each other. But it was this happy obsession that made it so I couldn't really complain. Jake was happy and Evan was the one making him that way.

"I'd think about it if you considered not torturing me with football practice." Evan said.

"It's not torture and don't pretend like you won't have fun. I was thinking I might invite Reid. He mentioned missing football and if we are already playing I could offer for him to join us." I rushed out.

I didn't know why I bothered to try to play it cool. My best friend wasn't an idiot.

"Right since we already plan to play." Jake tried to hide his smile.

"Can't believe I have to play football again because Adam has a crush."

"Stop complaining this is exciting!" Jake nudged his boyfriend.

"Please just pretend to be a normal person for once in your life." I pleaded as I watched my friend's faces light up.

"This is exciting! We are going to get to go on a double date." Evan beamed.

"I thought you hated double dates." Jake eyed Evan.

"That was only because it was my best friends set out to embarrass me. But this is fun, we get to watch Adam try to impress Reid with his mediocre football skills."

I didn't know how I thought this would be a good idea. The two of them were a disaster and definitely wouldn't help the situation. But somehow I wouldn't want anyone else with me. Jake made me comfortable in almost any situation. He always had my back and I guess Evan wasn't so bad either.

"Im uninviting you guys." I said not being serious.

"Oh come on at least your crush is healthy and you aren't writing poetry about his eyes." Evan replied.

"I did not write poetry." Jake protested.

"Well you did jerk off to the color of my eyes so that's close enough." Evan teased.

"Seriously guys." I groaned.

My words went unheard as they continued to bicker back and forth. It was something I was used to. I tuned them out as I looked back down at my phone.

Reid- Connor is ditching me for Nico this weekend and Cass is still MIA, I think I might die of boredom.

It felt good when Reid texted me. He would complain about his day or ask me random questions he thought of. It did something to me, it made me feel something. And I knew I was getting in too deep because I felt just as comfortable to do the same back.

Adam- you should come visit for the weekend, Jake and I were planning on playing some football if you wanted to join

I wasn't usually the bold one. I hadn't ever been interested enough to ever make a move on someone. I was the one usually rejecting other people's advances.

Reid- I'll be there but you can't judge since it's been years since I've played

Adam- deal

I couldn't get the smile off my face. It didn't even dim when I looked up to see Evan laid out on top of Jake his arm wrapped around Jake's neck in a headlock.

"Guys." I sighed not even surprised this is how their bickering ended up.

Jake easily knocked Evan's arm off him but neither moved to separate themselves.

"Sorry Evan has no self control." Jake teased his boyfriend.

"Don't start with me." Evan glared at Jake.

"Reid is coming down this weekend, you two better learn to control yourselves by then."

"Oh please you two won't even notice us there." Jake waved me off.

"Yeah they'll be too busy making heart eyes at each other."

I really hated the two of them sometimes.

"Heart eyes are better than what I have to deal with from you two." I grumbled.

The couple just laughed and yeah I don't think this smile will ever go away. Even when the couple drove me insane they were both my closest friends. Not that I'd ever let Evan know that.