His gaze Zee x NuNew fanfic

𝓑𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 [6]

"My reflection confuses me; I don't recognize myself; why do I smile so often?It feels wrong to live such a happy life. Is my life really happy? He is dead, right? I feel haunted by him; I feel his spirit wanting to possess me; I want to do what he asked me to do for him; I can't pull myself out; I'm drifting away; so far, into this pit of darkness, I am still smiling."

"He killed her; I loved her."

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NuNew pov

I wonder

I  do that a lot. I think a lot about how my life would turn out if that accident didn't occur. I wonder what the accident was like. Why must my brain erase all my memories?. I wonder about my father. I don't like him much; every memory I have of him is always filled with me crying. I don't like crying so much. I wonder about my mother; I don't have a single memory of her. I wonder if she was ever in my life?. What type of woman was she?.

Was I ever happy?

"NuNew?" a distant voice calls out, bringing me back to the present. I look at Nat, his eyes filled with concern. "Are you sick or something?" He asked, placing his palm on my forehead. I smiled at him and nodded my head. "I'm okay, Nat, just tired," I told him, giving him my lightbulb smile, the one that seems to fool everyone.

"Jay asked me to play at the bar called Pentagon; that place is famous, right?" I questioned Nat, flipping through my textbook. I didn't get a reply. I looked up at him; he seemed lost in thought. Pentagon," he whispers out, bringing his index finger to his chin.

"Yeah, apparently some big event is happening there, and the CEO asked him to send a singer for entertainment," I told him. Nat puffs up one side of his cheeks and gets lost in thought again. He looks concerned. "Did Jay give you a date? NuNew?" He asks, looking at me. I shake my head no, and we both continue studying.

After half an hour, I stopped studying and decided to go practice guitar. I have to be honest; I am nervous to play at such a large bar, and based on Jay's tone, it seems like the event is very large. I grab a cherry wood acoustic guitar from the corner of my room and take a seat on the floor, pressing my back against my bed. I brush my fingers over the metal strings. I feel familiar happiness filling up inside me. I love music. It brings me to  life. Music is a way to express my emotions.

I position my fingers, strumming and pulling on the steel strings; the melodic tune gently flows into my ears; I feel a sudden flare of joy growing inside me; a smile etched across my face; contentment filled my heart; and I close my eyes, humming along with the tune.

I wrote out a song to play at the event. It's a classical love song { Be yours} I titled it. I get up, place the guitar back in the corner, put the paper with my song on my desk, and get ready for a shower.

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"Teerak, forgive me, na ??" A handsome man asks, kneeling down, head tilted up, his hands clasped together.

"COME ON, JAMES, I WANT TO GO HOME. MY HAND HURTS FROM HOLDING THIS UP," a voice yells out in annoyance. The figure standing in front of the kneeling man doesn't acknowledge him. He's still staring at the man kneeling in front, his face filled with no emotion.

There's a line of men standing, holding up square, cut-out cardboard that's painted white with a letter on each board, spelling out sorry, love. James sighs out loud, shaking his head in disapproval, and smiles slightly. "Net I thought you were in serious danger. You know, sending me a voice message saying your shot is not funny. I almost had a heart attack". James yells out, folding his arms, and the man kneels on the ground. Net gets up, keeping his head low. James looks at the handsome boy in front of him and runs a hand through his hair.

"You all should know better; let him send a message like that, and aren't you all supposed to be at the meeting ??" James asks, lifting a brow and looking towards the guys holding up the signs.

"This is such a waste of my time," a shorter man mumbles out, rolling his eyes. "I tried to james, but these idiots won't listen." He yells out to James, shaking his head. He places the cardboard down and turns around to walk away. "Ai, wait, Nuengdio" another man calls out, and he runs after the guy. The rest of the men look at one another, place the signs down, and hurriedly walk away.

James turned his attention towards Net and frowned. "Look at me, Net," he said sternly. Net tilted his head up and looked at James with big eyes, fumbling with his fingers. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me, Teerak?" He asked, pouting. James placed his palm on his forehead and sighs out loudly, "What am I going to do with this man?"

"Khaaw-thoot," Net says quietly once again.

"My condo tonight," James whispers, loud enough for Net to hear, who looks up quickly, wide-eyed. James turns around and begins to walk away before Net can say anything.

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NuNew POV

NuNew gets dressed and walks out of his room. Net already had dinner set up. "I love you, Natsit," he squeals out, smiling widely and rushing over to the table. Nat giggles slightly and begins to place food on NuNew's plate. They both eat and chat about their day.

"Nat, I was wondering if you could sleep in my room today." I asked him after drinking a glass of water.

"Of course NuNew, and even if you didn't ask, I would come sleep with you either way," he smiles at me.

I love Nat, and I never feel embarrassed about sharing my problems with him. He always knows what to say, and I'm glad I found him in life. Im happy he's there every night to pull me out of those nightmares. I wonder if the dream has to do with the accident . 

 "  Can People can't survive getting shot in the head Nat ?" I asked absently moving my hand to my forehead . Nat spins around , his eyes widening in distress. " Oh NuNew " He says in a hushed voice walking over to me ,and wrapping his arms around me . " Don't talk about those things , It's only a dream".

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Zora : Not the best chapter , But running out of ideas on  what to write , don't wanna jump straight to the point , kinda wanna add extras first , next chapter Is better :).