Coriolanus x Sejanus

Secrets angst

Coriolanus pov
I laid on the bed next to Sejanus. We were both drunk and had separated ourselves from the rest of the party. Sejanus took a drink of the bottle of white liquor we had been passing between us.  We were laughing about something I couldn't comprehend. My mind was flooded with Sejanus. His beautiful smile and laugh. I rested my head on his shoulder. The door was locked so nobody could walk in on us. He leaned into my touch and soon we were cuddling(?). My head was resting in the crook of his neck and his arms were wrapped around me. His hand stroked gently through my hair. I hummed softly from the touch. It was gentle and innocent, unlike most of our other experiences in his bed. I lifted my head to look at him. I kissed Sejanus' lips softly. What were we? Friends? No, friends don't kiss and fuck in the dark. Boyfriends? No, too intimate. My boy. Yes, he was my boy.

"Tell me a secret" Sejanus whispered into my ear once we pulled apart.

We were close and hung out often but we didn't usually talk about our personal lives. He knew me more than anyone, not that it says much.

"Why should I tell you?" I asked.

"Because I asked" he responded while looking at me with his beautiful brown eyes. When he looked at me like that it made me want to give in and tell him everything.

"Okay, I'm poor" I said. I couldn't  believe I told him that. It was the first time I ever told anyone that.

"But your a Snow? Aren't you rich?" I asked confused.

"During the war district 13 got destroyed along with all our military investments. Thats why your family became so rich. We never recovered from the war with both my parents dying. Some days we still don't eat anything." I spilled out in response.

"I'm sorry Corio. I would've helped if I knew." He said with pity. I didn't want a district boy pitying me.

"It's not your fault. What's your secret?" I asked wanting to gain leverage to even out the playing field.

"Umm, my Pa beats me and my mother. I'm so useless I can't even stop him. It's my fault too, I always mess up." He said quietly.

It made my blood boil. The thought of someone hurting Sejanus. Making him feel useless. Me not being there to stop it.

"It's not your fault." I responded and kissed his forehead. "I used to hate you y'know. I was jealous that you had everything I wanted, now I see I was too jealous to realize you had problems too."

"Do you still hate me?" He asked. What a dumb question.

"No, Sejanus. I haven't in a long time" I answered.

"I never hated you. I was obsessed with you. You  are handsome and popular and everyone loves you. I think I do too." He whispered the last part.  Do I love him back? 

"I-I would kill for you but I can't say I love you yet." I said.

"It's okay. I can wait because I love you. I would die for you." He responded.

I closed the space between our lips and kissed him. I like his devotion, my power over him. My boy Sejanus. The alcohol soon caught up to us and we fell asleep.

*in the book corio does kill for sejanus and sejanus dies for corio 😭😭