Return To Me

Chapter 25

Just when you think that life is getting better, something will happen to cause your downfall.

If life really is a roller coaster ride, then why am I not enjoying? Does life really needs to be this hard? What lesson are you trying to teach me, life?

'Thank your trauma, it made you stronger.'

I irked at the quote I have read in friendster.

I should thank what made me feel worthless?

I should thank the one who gave me sleepless nights?

I should thank the one who made me miserable and gave me feelings I don't want to feel?

If there's anything i'm going to thank for, my trauma would be the least. Or for God's sake, I don't even want to thank it.

I posted on my timeline.

Dia Hannalil

Your trauma made you experience hell. But you made yourself out alive.

Sana matamaan ang friendster friend ko sa post ko.

Inayos ko ang bag ko para sa pagpasok. Today, I will make the biggest decision I have ever made in the recent months.

I will break up with him.

Buong gabi ko itong pinag-isipan. Tama na siguro ang lahat ng sakit. Baka hindi dapat ganito ang buhay. Kaya baka nahihirapan kami, ay dahil hindi ito ang dapat. Hindi ito ang nararapat.

It's Friday morning, and my hands were shaking. Baka hindi siya pumayag. Natatakot ako na isang pagmamakaawa niya lang ay lumambot na naman ang puso ko.

I realized everything when I thought about it last night. Hindi normal ang mga problemang dumarating. Mula noon hanggang ngayon, ilang beses na kaming pinaghihiwalay. May it be because I needed space, or his mom doesn't want me, lahat naman ay hindi tumutugma sa amin.

Baka hindi lang talaga ito para sa amin.

Pag masyadong pinipilit, mas lalong hindi binibigay sa atin.

Kaya tama na muna siguro.

"Kai, p'wede ba tayong mag-usap.." I almost lost my voice. Damn, Dia. Try to keep your composture!

"Yeah. What is it?"

I was taken aback by his cold demeanor. Napakurap ako. Okay naman kami, ah?

"P'wedeng sa garden tayo mag-usap para walang tao?"

TUMANGO LANG SIYA.

Nagtataka man ay pilit ko iyong iwinaski. Nang makarating sa garden ay hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa.

"Magbreak na tayo."

Parang kinurot ang puso ko nang wala akong makitang reaksyon sa kaniya. I blinked twice. He's just looking at me as if he's already aware that I was gonna say that.

Deep inside me, I wanted him to refuse.

Asan na iyong, 'Ayoko'?

"Is that so?"

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga nangyayari. Hindi siya ganito. Kaizer would never agree.

But I chose this, right? So, I have to accept that he'll just react this way. Pero...hindi ba siya aangal?

"O-oo..b-baka hindi talaga para sa'tin ito..h'wag na nating ipilit."

I saw his jaw clenched, pero tama ba iyong nakikita ko? Nangingilid ba talaga ang luha niya? Tell me..