The Clerk and the CEO

Part 12: Lunacy

And with that, I knew what I needed to do. Too long I'd been living in uncertainty and the fear of making a mistake. I needed to do something, like ask Taehyung out. The stakes are high, but had I ever shied away from a challenge? Prior to my mistake over a year ago, I was confident. Not only did others disown me, but I also disowned myself.

I'd been waiting for him to make a move. Fuck, I can make my own moves. He'll either laugh in my face and let me down easily, fire me, or kiss me breathlessly. Okay, 1 out of 3 odds aren't that bad about 33%. Whatever happens, at least I'll know.

Even if I get rejected. I don't want to be plagued by 'what if' for the rest of my life. He's a damn good man and I like him, a lot.

I nearly sprint over to the elevator. There's a large group of shoppers waiting as I nervously pace back and forth. Yes, I'm ready to make my move. The elevator arrives, and it's packed with customers. A small group of adults with eager bouncing children exit. I smile for a moment forgetting my mission as my chest lightens witnessing the bright smiles and sounds of these excited children. Goodness, only a small group of shoppers are able to squeeze onto the elevator.

Option two - the stairs. My hands shake, gripping onto the banister to the final flight. I'm a jittery sweaty mess.

Moving down the corridor towards Taehyung's office, my heart pounds so loud in my ears I can barely hear anything. Oh no, the thought of 'What if' invades my mind, again. 'What if' I never see him again? 'What if' he feels the same attraction but is scared like me? If I don't take this risk, I will have to live in the question of 'What if' for the rest of my life. This I will not do. I will not be tortured by 'What if.'

I slowly pull in a breath as I walk those last steps. All the while telling myself to just be honest and trust my gut. I have to do this like that accountant dude did with Lisa. I have a good feeling about Taehyung. I believe in that feeling.

"Good afternoon." I startle a bit as Taehyung's secretary greets me. My eyes were focused on Taehyung's door, and I didn't see her.

"Oh, Good afternoon, madam."

"Merry Christmas, Jungkook." Her smile is always so warm. I'm surprised that she knows my name.

"You know me? And Merry Christmas to you," I add.

"Yes, we all know you up here and how your management of the Holiday Department saved this store. Taehyung is always praising your work and rightfully so." I immediately go into statue mode with a floored mouth and bulging eyes. What, Taehyung praised me? Well, he did say in his text messages rather frequently I was doing a wonderful job. I just didn't know.

"Thanks for your and your department's hard work." The back of my neck heats up.

"I was just doing my job, Ms....."

"Please call me Dae. How can I help you, Jungkook?"

"Uh, is Mr. Kim available?" I now find myself completely calmed and restored with new energy to make my move.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook, but he left for the day." My heart literally feels as if it has just collapsed.

"He's getting ready for a big Christmas Day. Shall I tell him you stopped by?" My head is all fuzzy and I'm not sure what to say or do.

"Uh, no. I'll see him on the day after the holiday."

"Jungkook, he'll be going on vacation for a few weeks." Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she delivers the death blow. It's not her fault but fuck me for being such a coward and waiting.