The Clerk and the CEO

Part 13: I must have that smile in my life

Christmas Day

The Shelter

"Merry Christmas, Jungkook! Thank you so much for your generous service on this wonderful day," Dae says, greeting me with a beautiful holiday smile. Excitement saturates me. I have something today that's incredibly priceless, hope. There's nowhere else I want to be this morning. Okay, maybe, as I think of Taehyung's arms enveloping me. It's not like I didn't try. It wasn't meant to be, that's all. I won't see him for weeks and who knows how I'll feel. Grow up Jungkook, I say to myself.

"Merry Christmas, Dae!" I hug and it feels so warm and sincere I don't want to let go. "I'm the one that should be thanking you for the opportunity to be of service to those in need. I'm wonderfully blessed and have so much to be grateful for." How true those words are for me. Look at how rich I am. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a fantastic job, and friends that care about me. Furthermore, Lisa's mother and daughter have opened their home and their hearts to me. I sigh at the loving thought of all that I have. I no longer carry the weight of shame and degradation. What a fabulous Holiday gift.

"Let me show you to your post." As I follow her, I'm so overjoyed seeing so many families. I know that they're all going through a difficult period, yet they smile, laugh, and sing. There's cheer and merriment that fills this wonderful place.

"Everyone seems so happy, Dae."

"It's Christmas and they have hope. Even though all of them are experiencing some of the most challenging times of their lives. Jungkook, you are part of their hope, just by the service you're giving today."

I had never thought of helping others. My mission was the pursuit of money, objects, and power. Now that I'm making enough money to cover all my expenses and save, I have enough. I had been so selfish. Had I not gotten the job at Kim's, I was likely to have ended up in a shelter much like this one. But no, the spirit of Christmas has lifted me and placed me back on my feet and back amongst the living. I have risen from my pit of bitterness, anger, and resentment.

I walk with Dae into a huge dining room on the lower level. Everyone is helping with either setting up the tables or decorating.

There must be at least 25 volunteers I see. There's a fun and spirited business about them. There are men and women laughing and talking. Some are singing Christmas carols. The sensation of undescribed tenderness fills my tummy, and my eyes go wet.

The pain and sadness I felt yesterday is gone. I'm now filled with a new joy and peacefulness. Much like the feeling I get helping customers at Kim's, but this is more powerful.

I had been missing so much in my previous life. It was then that I realized that everything that happened has brought me to this moment and I feel the warm heat of a tear slowly track its way down my cheek and I feel... Happy!

"Wow! That's a lot of food! I think I counted 12 Turkeys."

"Oh, there's a lot more coming," Dae says.

On the side against the wall of the dining room are piles of stacked boxes. I see the name Kim's is printed on them. I immediately pause in my tracks.

"Dae, did Kim's Department Store donate some items, maybe for the kids?" I ask.

Dae chuckles and turns turns to face me and gently rests her hand lightly on my shoulder. "Jungkook, Mr. Kim is the benefactor of this feast and gift giving holiday event. Kim's has been doing this for over 30 years, and we are extremely grateful."

This was a part of Kim Taehyung I had not expected. I knew he was a good man but doing such amazing charity work was just amazing. This doesn't match up to my thoughts of big business and a rich CEO. This is intimate and personal. Maybe he'd write a fat check and his accountant buddy would claim it on the business' taxes. Something like that. He wasn't selfish or greedy, like I had been. Nor was he spoiled by his wealth. I smiled at the thought and scoffed softly shaking my head to free it of my false judgments, which were driven by my own bitterness and resentments.