You saved me Maddie

A new normal once again.

Maddie had signed me up for the local school and on the morning of the first day of school I couldn't eat.
"Come on Ellie, just a few bites" Maddie said, handing me a bowl of cereal.
I shook my head and my red hair brushed against my shoulders. Maddie gave me her sad look.
"You at least need to take your medicine" she said and handed me a glass of water and two tablets.
I swallowed them with two big gulps.
"Good girl" she put my glass in the dishwasher.
I took two spoonfuls from my bowl of cereal before I tossed the rest away, and then it was off to school. The doors creaked as I walked inside the halls. They were flooded with teenagers, boys and girls. A woman walked over to me, wearing a blue blouse with a pair of black jeans.
"Are you Estelle Miller?" She asked me.
"Yes"
"Great, I'm your head teacher Mrs Swan" she said.
She walked me to a classroom, explaining that it would be a bit more difficult to jump in to a new school in the middle of the school years but that my class was very nice. Then I was put in a classroom, behind a wooden desk, while a teacher talked about  what was happening this semester. My heart was pounding as I glanced around the room, there was a lot of girls there, more girls than boys, and they were all chatting with each other. When the class got dismissed Mrs Swan showed me around the school and all my classrooms and teachers. Shortly after that we got to go home.
Maddie wasn't home when I walked through the door so I made something to eat and when I was waiting for my tea Maddie sent me a text.
"Can you go check the mailbox?"
I responded with a "sure" before I walked down to the lobby. In it were a few envelopes, a few for Maddie but one had my name on it, from a Caitlin Raymond. My breath caught in my throat when I first picked it up. I ran up the stairs and ripped it open the second I got inside.
"Dear Estelle.
I know I don't deserve something like this but I want to at least try and explain myself.
I had you with your father when I was young, 19 to be exact, and your father was older. My mom threatened me to stop paying for school if I decided to keep you, so after I had you I had to give you to your father. I knew he wasn't always the best person but I hoped that he would change for you, but I'm guessing he didn't. My mom didn't allow me to see you at all even after I finished med school (and yeah I'm a doctor now), so that's why I never did. My fear clouded my judgement, which made me miss out on a person that was supposed to be the most impossible one in my life and I will never be able to make up for that. I know I put you in bad situation, no I know I put you in a living hell and that's all my fault. My mom asked your dad to tell you I died and I'm guessing he did. Maddie called me back yesterday to tell me that you wouldn't wanna see me and you might not even be reading this but if you are I want you to know that I was wrong, I want you to know that I think of you every day and I want you to know that I love you. If you ever feel like talking you can ask Maddie. I'm not trying to take you away from your home, from Maddie, I know how much she loves you.
Love Mom."
My hand were trembling as I stood in the hallway, tears rolling down my cheeks. She didn't deserve redemption. I scrunched the paper in to a ball and tossed it in a trash can.
"Fuck off" I mumbled before I walked to my room and shut the door.
Maddie came home a few hours later to find me in my bed, the covers over my head, crying.
"Ellie?" Her voice was soft. "You okay?"
I shook my head, anger still pumping through my veins.
"Sit up please" I felt Maddie sit down on my bed.
"She sent a letter" I sniffed.
"Yeah" Maddie responded.
"You knew?" I asked her.
She nodded, of course she knew.
"Why?" I sniffed.
"Because you needed to read that letter" she said firmly "you needed to know"
"I don't want to live with her" I mumbled.
That was true, maybe that was why I was so angry.
"You won't have to" She reassured me, moving closer to me. "Is that why you don't want to see her?"
I don't know. How would I answer to that? I just shrugged. Maddie took a breath and pulled me in to a hug.
"I love you kid" she said into my hair.
"I love you too" I mumbled into her chest.
I decided to meet with Caitlin that following weekend, on the Saturday. I hadn't found any friends in school yet so I just went straight home after school. Time was taunting me, if I was in a lesson it slowed down and if I was at home with Maddie it sped up. I quietly wished that the weekend would never arrive, but it did. Maddie and I stood outside a small coffee shop, the smell of fresh coffee reaching me even outside.
"Do you want me to follow you inside?" She asked.
"Please do" it felt like my heart was in my throat so it felt hard to speak.
We walked inside and in the corner of the shop I could see a brown haired woman reading a magazine. When the door shut behind us she looked up and smiled. She waved at us and Maddie noticed and walked over, my hand in hers as she led me through the small shop. The woman had brown hair and light blue eyes, just like me. She stood up.
"I'm Caitlin" she smiled at Maddie as they shook hands before she turned to me. "Hi Estelle"
She gave me a smile that looked just like mine.
"Hi" I answered her.
"I'm gonna go now" Maddie said turning to me. "Call me when you need me to pick you up."
"Okay, bye" she let go of my hand and she was gone.
I sat down on a chair across from Caitlin.
"I ordered you a hot chocolate and a cinnamon bun" Caitlin said.
She looked nervous, her hands shaking even though she tried to hide it.
"Thank you" I responded to her.
"So" she started "do you want to tell me a bit about yourself?"
I didn't want to, but I had promised Maddie to at least try.
"Uh, I like to read and play video games" I said.
A waiter came with a cup of hot chocolate and a cup of coffee.
"Thank you" Caitlin said before turning to me "what's your favourite book?"
"I don't know" I said "I haven't read that much yet"
"That's okay" she smiled. "What's your favourite subject in school?"
"I don't know" I said "I only started school this week."
She seemed disappointed, her eyes flacking off to the side.
"Where do you live?" I asked her.
Surprised, she looked up at me.
"An hour outside of LA" she responded.
Her eyes had a spark in them, her blue eyes that looked like mine.
"What do you do for work?" I continued.
"I'm a surgeon" she smiled.
"Cool." I said, taking a bite of my cinnamon bun.
She took a sip from her cup, and she didn't slurp. Thank god.
"What do you wanna be when you grow up?" A question which caught me by surprise.
I didn't know, so I just shrugged.
Our conversation continued a bit like that before she needed to go in to the hospital she worked at for an emergency surgery.