You saved me Maddie

Silence.

It had gone three days without me speaking. My throat felt stuffy and swollen and I couldn't get any sound out. Maddie had gotten worried so she had called my therapist to book me in for an extra appointment. The therapist was equally as chocked as Maddie was but she couldn't get me to speak. As I was laying in bed during night three of silence I heard Maddie talking to someone on the phone.
"Could she get like this when you were around" she asked.
"Yeah after dad had gotten really mad" a person said through a phone.
Great, she was talking to Evelyn.
"I just don't know how to make it better for her" Maddie sighed. "Therapy doesn't seem to help"
"You can't fix her when she gets like this" I heard Evelyn's voice say. "It was her way of coping with trauma so maybe she's processing big emotions"
I felt my gut tighten when she said that. It was true that I would go silent for days after dad had scolded me but I never realised how much Evelyn picked up.
"You're probably right" I heard Maddie say. "I just want what's best for her"
"And that's so good" Evelyn's voice said "but just be there for her and love her and I'm sure it will resolve itself in no time"
I didn't listen to anymore of that conversation. With a sigh I rolled over onto my side. Guilt was filling me like a cold rush of air. I hated that Maddie wanted to fix me so bad because she didn't break me, someone else did. Evelyn broke me. But.. what if it wasn't her fault? Our dad was the one who made her run away and he gave me all my traumas so it was his fault. Evelyn shouldn't have left me with him but at least she wasn't the one who hit me. I could hear Maddie walking around the kitchen and then the fridge opening. She grabbed something before closing the fridge again and walking over to her bedroom.
The next morning I was up early, I couldn't go back to sleep around 06 so I just got up, sat at my desk and did my schoolwork. The school had an online program which they temporarily transferred me to. It was to keep me enrolled in school while I had to deal with all of this trauma. My phone buzzed around 07 with a notification from Snapchat. "Mila wants to be your friend". I opened the app and clicked on her profile. It was Lindas daughter that was here for dinner last week. I accepted her friend request and a few minutes later she sent me a text.
"Heyyy I hope you remember me (cuz if you don't you have a very bad memory) but I really liked hanging out with you so I asked mom for your name and I found your snap :) (hope I don't sound like a creep)"
I smiled at her text and texted her back.
"Hii of course I remember you (cuz my memory is very good thank you). Anyways I agree that we had very fun together so we should probably hang out sometime :)."
I put my phone down to finish my math but I got a reply a few moments later.
"Great! When does it work for you?"
I thought about that question for a while. It would be stupid if we decided to hang out but I wouldn't say anything.
"Maybe next week?" I responded to her.
We decided on Saturday next week and just as I was getting back to my schoolwork Maddie knocked on my door, she waited for a response but opened the door when she realised I wouldn't say anything.
"I'm gonna go into work for a few hours" she said. "Are you going to be okay alone"
I nodded.
"Great!" Maddie smiled.
She walked over and planted a quick kiss on my head.
"Bye hon, see you when I get home"
I gave her a closed mouth smile and she stroked my hair. Even though she was smiling I couldn't help but notice a sadness behind her eyes. I was done with my schoolwork by lunchtime so after that I just played video games in my room waiting for Maddie to come home. My phone let out a "ping" and I looked over at the screen to see a message from Mila. I opened my phone and read it.
"Hiiii how was you day? :)"
I replied with;
"Quite boring I just did my schoolwork at home and now I'm playing video games :)"
"So that's why I haven't seen you at school!" Mila texted. "You've been working from home"
"Yup" I texted back "it's been a lot since the tsunami and the trial for my dad"
"Yeah I get that" she replied. "Dads suck!"
"Hahaha agreed" I answered her.
"My mom is on my back because I'm failing a few of my classes but she just doesn't get that school is fucking hard" she wrote.
"If it's any help I could help you study sometime? And if not that's okay too :)" I suggested
"That would be amazing!" She replied. "It will be like a little study date!"
My stomach fluttered at the last two words. It felt weird and very unexpected. I shook it off and told myself it was nothing because it wasn't. It was just my mind playing tricks on me.
Maddie came home later than expected and we ate some leftovers from the night before as she babbled all about her colleague Josh and him wanting a boyfriend. She looked happier now compared to this morning. Maybe Josh's energy had rubbed off on her during the day. I cleared off the tables and went to bed, even though I wasn't tired. Tomorrow I had therapy which I didn't want to attend. Sitting in a chair with someone who wanted me to talk didn't feel like the ideal day but I went anyways. After a very silent session Maddie picked me up in her blue Audi.
"How was your session?" She asked me, the smallest slimmer of hope in her voice.
I gave her a thumbs up and she let out a sigh. I could see the disappointment on her face which made my gut twist.
"Okay so" Maddie changed the subject, her tone a bit lighter. "What about we eat chicken tonight?"
I nodded.
"I found this really great recipe on New York Times" she told me.
She talked about that recipe all the way home and went straight to the kitchen when we got home. I helped out as best I could and set the table. When we sat down I could smell lemon from the chicken and Maddie went on and on about what seasoning she had used. Her face suddenly got serious and she walked over to fetch something from her room. She came back out with a yellow envelope in her hands and sat down across from me. She scooted the envelope over to me and nodded for me to take it.
"I didn't really wanna ask you like this but" she said but her voice disappeared before she could finish her sentence.
I ripped the top of the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of paper. On the top I could read "Certificate of Adoption". I put the paper down and looked at her.
"I know it basically came out of the blue but I want to be your mom for real" Maddie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "If that's okay?".
I felt my throat loosening up and finally being able to take a deep breath.
"So what do you say?" Maddie looked at me, her eyes asking for an answer.
"Yes" I said, my voice rough and unused.
"Yes?" Maddie gasped.
"Yes!" I said again, looking up at her and meeting her brown eyes.
She went over and grabbed me from my chair, lifting me up and spinning me around. When she got tired she put me down. I could see her eyes watering.
"You are already my mom though" I told her. "I don't need a certificate to prove that"
Maddie smiled and chuckled.
"And you were always my daughter"