Random Barnaby Oneshots (A Wattpad Fanfiction)

Dragon Stuff Down

Warning: a fight and mild swearing. Reader discretion advised.

It's been two months since I spoke to Barnaby. I have become quieter, much more reserved, and almost a shell of myself. Sonic definitely noticed, which was why he had an intervention. One evening, I was heading back to my dorm when I noticed a hot pink envelope with an owl crest on it. I narrow my eyes in suspicion. Nobody that was human was allowed anywhere near my dorm because it was upstairs.

To those who have not read Sonicphobia at all, there is a rule at STH Academy: Never go upstairs. Good reason why, too. It's where the elites sleep. To clarify, an elite is basically a clone of Sonic. And I am one of those clones. But every elite is unique. They have a hidden ability on top of being able to run at sonic speeds. My special gift, in case the first chapter of this one shot wasn't a big enough clue, is shapeshifting.

With that out of the way, my eyes narrow into deadly green slits. I open the envelope. I look at the envelope once and nearly drop it. I recognized the handwriting from the getgo. It was Barnaby's handwriting and he seemed... well, a bit more off the walls than normal. He wrote:

Alison Hedgehog

We need to talk about the perfect punishment for you. I will be seeing you very soon. Do not try to ghost me.

Sincerely and with indescribable rage,

Baron Barnaby Yenschufien

I am fucked. I thought to myself. That was brief and curt, even by Barnaby standards. He usually uses a lot of flair and sugarcoats a lot. This is out of character. I knew I misjudged how angry Barnaby was going to be when he figured out that I am still living. I sigh sadly as I prepared myself for the worst. I checked my medkit that I had stored in the off chance Barnaby wanted vengeance for my gross negligence. By vengeance I mean wants me in his party. By that, I mean dead and stuck for eternity.

I triple checked. Antidotes? Check.

Bandages? Check.

Needle and thread? Check.

Knowledge on how to stop myself from choking? Check and then some.

I should have thrown Caliburn into my arsenal of "Things to keep Barnaby at bay." I hear a loud knocking on my door. I open it, only to find myself face to beak with Barnaby himself. Except... He looks different. His feathers were more... Reptilian. His red pupils are literal slits. As he exhaled, smoke billowed out of his mouth. He spread his giant wings, looking like bat wings. I cough, stumbling back and curling up in a ball. I was coughing. Then I look at him. His underbelly was hot pink and his tail whipped around.

I know that I'm dealing with Barnaby as a dragon. I spin dash despite the fact that Headmaster Sonic forbade us elites from doing that. I leap in Barnaby's back and used my dress as some sort of harness. Barnaby started bucking, his black body whipping around and we ended up falling out the window. I land and took off running. I was going to have a good old fashioned heart to heart with Barnaby... Sonic style.

In case you haven't guessed, the heart to heart involved a lot of getting rough. So while Barnaby was in his piss off, I spent time kicking his tail. I grabbed a Chaos Emerald, running circles around him. I yelled, "Barnaby! Cool your beans! I'm sorry already!"

Barnaby hooted, his swirling orange eyes insane with rage. "If you were truly sorry, you wouldn't have lied!" He shrieked.

"Well, SORRY THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE! I THOUGHT SHIFTING INTO A FUCKING GHOST OWL WAS THE FUCKING SOLUTION!" I shriek this.

Barnaby froze. He was so stunned from what came out of my mouth that he shifted back into a ghost owl. His jaw dropped. "Excuse me?" He asked, his voice tiny.

I shifted into a ghost owl and tackled him. We tumbled in the ground for a minute and we were both filthy. We get up, and I begin apologizing profusely as I dusted him off. He cut me off, putting a talon to my beak.

"Alison, you shouldn't have lied to me about being a shapeshifter." Barnaby rumbled, his usually fruity voice sounding like a low growl. I froze as he bonked my head with his head... HARD.

"Ow." I protest, stumbling away. I quickly added, "Yeah, that was warranted." I shake my feathers, puffing up.

"With that out of the way, were you planning on telling me that?" Barnaby asked, his head tilting. He took several steps closer to me, ruffling my feathers. "Curious. It feels just like my feathers. Are you always a shifter like me?" Barnaby asked again.

I decided to spill the beans. "No. I wasn't always a shifter. I used to be a normal human. I ended up at STH Academy and... I don't remember much." I admit. Then I decided to brighten his mood. "You should totally meet Airalain, though! She's so cool!" I start pulling him towards Airalain, babbling on about how she is.

I spot my twin sister. She was reading a book, so I did the sibling thing by sneaking up and tickling her. "Ahahaha! A-Ali! Hi!" She wheezed, then she saw who was behind me. Her cobalt face paled and she shoved me behind her. "Stay behind me!" She growled.

"AIRS! HOLD ON!" I step in front of her, the sun hitting my face. I meet her green eyes. "I want you to meet the guy who saw me as a granddaughter and daughter figure. So... Uh, this is Barnaby. He-" I begin.

"Alison. I played the Billie Bust Up demo. Barnaby is not just a ghost host. He is also the Headmaster of the Undead College of Goatshire." She told me. "You are lucky he didn't make you apply!"

"Oh, I think Ali should apply as is. My token fee for both the party and the college is usually your life, but since Ali can shapeshift, she can apply for free." Barnaby interjected. He glanced at me, his orange eyes glowing. "I usually don't do this but you are an exceptional and talented little... Ex human." Barnaby explained. Then he spotted my laptop, which I had Airalain beta test a game I was making. He glanced then asked, "How do you feel about a future in game design? I can offer you a major in that." Barnaby noted as he observed my work. I immediately get flustered. I was working on a game with a ghost loon, an indie horror game that has you solve puzzles to the beat of the music.

"That's not finished yet! Airalain was making the music for it while I-!" I began, but Barnaby stretched his neck down to my level and stared me dead in the eye. I saw my life flash before my eyes.

"I think it's wonderful but could use a little work." Barnaby purred, running his beak against my pointed ear. My ear flicked. I was stunned. "I see a future in video game design!" He hooted, ruffling my hair. I was stunned as he hopped in a portal to his dimension.

"Holy fuck." I breathed. Airalain was wide eyed.

"Ali! You just got into the most prestigious and deadly college in the gaming universe! And you didn't pay anything for it!" She gasped.

Hey. Sorry for leaving you hanging. I am still busy with college and since this is autism awareness month, I decided to publish this to show autism acceptance. I see all of you autistic peeps. In case you are confused on why Ali shapeshifts or why her base form is a copy of Sonic, check out Sonicphobia and Pediophobia respectively. Just adding context. This isn't exactly canon to the main story of Sonicphobia. This is the part where you theorize what is real and what isn't. Have fun!