Closing the zipper of your suitcase, you bite your lips, preventing another crying crisis. You let out a groan, moving it from the bed to the ground as the wheels punch the ground loudly due to the weight. It's no wonder, it was full of all your clothes and objects you had in your house.
You go to the living room and before you could leave, the door opens. A part of you was hoping it would open, and the other part was begging not to. Winwin's eyes sparkle, immediately spotting you, but it fades away once he sees the suitcase beside you. Closing the door behind him, he makes a confused expression.
-Hi, love. I'm back. What's the suitcase for? - He asks, stopping next to the door, somehow feeling the tension in the air.
Your face was not amused, and your silence after his question made his soul freeze. Your eyes deviate from his, and just like in a movie scene, his mind creates millions of theories and scenarios. All of them being the worst it could be, and making his heart beat fast.
-Do you know... what day is today? - That's the first thing you say.
That question could kill anyone. His eyes run desperately trying to think, and then he glances at the table. A thin steam hover above an unlit candle which clearly was lightened a long time ago, and the plates and the cutlery are minutely and beautifully organized, all of them from the special golden set you always said that should be kept for a special occasion only. His eyes come back to you now with despair. He had forgot your anniversary.
-Uhm... Sure! It's our anniversary. - Winwin walks towards you with a soft tone, trying to alleviate the situation. - Sorry for being late. I just had a dinner with the members and the staff after the recording, but we can still celebrate, right? - He says, touching your arm, but you pull it away from him, bringing a chill down his spine.
-For how long will we keep this, Winwin? How long will I have to wait for you? - Your voice comes out trembling, and his breathing loses its rhythm. - I can't handle it anymore. - You say as your eyes get watery staring at his.
-No, no, love. I'm sorry. Really. I know it's my fault, but please, let's talk about it. - Winwin says with a worried face, but you shake your head.
-It's not the first time, Winwin. It's always like this. I know you have your work. I know you are and idol. But today... I told you so many times. I waited for you for so many hours, until one in the morning. I prayed that you would pass through that door this time, or that you at least send me a text. - A tear falls from your eye, and Winwin could see how hurt you are.
-I know. I know. I made mistakes. I should have treated you better. I will do it from now on. - He says desperately, vomiting words to reach you while you shake your head. - Please, don't go. Let's start again. - It's like a wall was in between you, and suddenly, he is seeing his world collapse in front of his eyes.
-For what? What's the point of both of us being broken hearted? - You say, pushing him by the chest and pulling your suitcase, but Winwin gets in front of you, stopping you from getting out.
-Because we love each other. You know I do. And I know with you it's the same. - He says in a heavy breath, seeing more tears rolling down your face. - I can't lose you, Y/n. You're more than my girlfriend. You're my best friend. It's you and me against the world. Remember? - He takes your hand, looking at you in the eyes, but you deviate your face. - Please... please... tell me what I can do to make it up to you. I will do anything. Anything! - He says, stuttering and crying. His throat seems to close from pain and his lips seems to burn.
-I need someone by my side. - You say as he frowns is eyebrows, regretting to have said yes to the dinner, and to have said yes to many other things other than you. - I want to be someone's priority. I want to have someone to take care of me. I want to have a family and having someone there when I go to sleep. I want to someone who plans a surprise for me when our anniversary comes. - You pause, taking a deep breath. - In the end, it was only me against the world, Winwin.
He didn't find words to say. He knows you're right. He knows you deserve everything you are wishing for. A part of him was telling him it was better for you, and the other couldn't let you go because nothing would matter anymore if you weren't by his side. Nobody would love him the way you do, and you wouldn't find a love like his, but loving someone was not enough.
You get closer, leaving a peck on his lips. A last demonstration of love from you, but that transferred so much loneliness and sorrow. He couldn't say anything more. This was a lost discussion that started a long time ago. Since his first mistakes that he always apologized for.
-Goodbye.
Your voice is shut by the echo from the door closing. The apartment instantly feels too big and too empty. Winwin bursts in tears, leaning on the wall. So, that's how you used to feel all the time. Walking to the table, a small envelope rests closed in middle of the decoration. He knows he shouldn't, but he opens it, seeing your last words from you of some hours ago: Happy 4th Anniversary! This is our special day, and I couldn't be any happier to spend it with you. Love You!
Something he will forever regret. Something too good to say goodbye.
