Dix-neuf

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'Say something please.' I say on the urge to cry. He does not look at me and goes to his desk. 'Leave please.' He says when he sits down and looks at the papers on his desk. 

I go to his desk and want to make everything good, make good white him. 'Please, don't do this.' He looks at me and looks angry. 'Leave Emily.' 'No.' He gets angry and stands up. 'I told you to fucking leave or I'm calling security!' 

'No, I don't want to leave you like this.' I know Carlos told me not to do this but I didn't care. 'I know you're mad because I had feelings for you both but-' 'I'm not only angry because of that Emily!' 'Why-.' 'BECAUSE ITS MY FUCKING BEST FRIEND EMILY. I fucking hate you for coming between us. You just showing up because of your mom and coming between me and Charles! He is like a brother to me and you just ruined that!' 

I cry and let his words sink in, he is right. This will give their friendship a scare that will last forever. All because of me. The last thing I wanted was to come between them. But I just did so it doesn't matter what I want or don't want.

'I'm sorry-' 'Leave Emily, I don't want to see your fucking face!' I look at him when I hear a voice I know. 'He told you to leave Emily.' I turn around and see Charles. I twist my ring around my finger and don't know what to do. I turn around and look at Alex. 'Leave Emily.' 'I'm sorry' I say to both of them when I let a tear roll over my right cheek. I take my stuff. I walk as fast as possible away from Alex his office and I cry. I cry hard.

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3 months later.

It's been 3 months since Alex threw me out of his office, I have not talked to him and Charles since then. I was hurt because the boy I loved hated me but most of all because I made him hate me. I tried to talk to him and Alex when we went out with our friends but they just ignored me.

They even didn't want to hang out with our friends because I would be there. I even texted Charles to tell him not to do this because of me but he just left me on read. Lando and Carlos told me to let it go, they told me I had done enough and if they don't accept my apologies then that's their problem. 

At first, I did not want to do that, but because of my mom and my job, I had to learn to let it go. I'm happy in Monaco, I have amazing friends. My mom is doing better which is a surprise and Isa is more in town. We even planned a girl's night after my shift at the hospital. 

I have amazing colleagues so life is going well but every night when I'm alone in my bed I feel guilty. About what I have done to them, I have made their friendship have a dark point and I hate myself for it. When I'm dependent on my thoughts I get out of it because I hear a notification on my phone. I take my phone and see it's from Isa.

Isa: I will pick you up after work, will be a bit earlier than expected x

Emily: Okay, no problem x

I put my phone and stuff away and start at the last part of my shift. I love my job, it went better than I would have dreamed. My French is not that good but most people in Monaco understand English so that's perfect for me. 

I walk to a patient room but I hear the doctor scream my name. 'Emily, I need you right now! It's really important.' I follow the doctor into a room and see a little boy around 12 years old I think on the bed in the room. He had short brown hair and had an air mask on his face. 'His name is Lucas Vermond, he is 12 years old and he had a carthing accident. He was awake when we arrived but he told us he did not feel his legs because he fell on his back. Also, he passed out on the way to the hospital.'

This was a critical situation and after some quick little test, we all agreed on an operation. I told the other nurses when the doctors were gone with the boy that I would inform the family. I walked out of the room and heard Lana call my name. She is sitting at her desk and I walk to her. 'What is it, Lana?' 

'Well, there are some men and a woman sitting at the waiting area about a boy from 12 that just came in and I saw you were in there with him. They demanded to have answers, can you please go to them and calm them down.' I give her a nod and walked to the waiting area. When I saw who was sitting there my heart skipped a beat. 

Alex, Charles, Carlos, and a woman I did not know. She was older than them and when the woman looked at me I saw Charles his eyes so it must be his mother. They looked at me, scared as hell and the woman was even crying. I feel so bad for them, they must be family by there expressions. I saw Alex getting mad but Carlos stood up, 'Emily, Omg thank god. Charles his nephew his name is Luke had a carting excited and he was brought here. Do you know something?' 

I let Carlos sit at his chair again and sat in front of Charles before the worrying people. I looked at the woman but she just looked at the floor, too busy thinking about something. Or praying, I don't know if Charles his mom is religious. 'We have checked some things and the doctors and the nurses have decided it's better for him to have a operation. Because you told the doctors that he fell on his back there became intense pressure in his spine. The pressure needs to go because otherwise he may be paralyzed forever.' They all looked at me scared which I understand. 

'I know this sounds creepy, but he is in good hands. The doctors will help him the best they can.' 'Is there a chance he may still be paralyzed after the surgery?' Charles looks at me when he asks me his question in fear. I look at him and nod. 'Maybe, there is a small chance but there is still 1.' 'We have just to wait, after the surgery doctors will do test on him the following days and will see if that is the case or not.' 

The women nods when I talk but does not look at me. 'Do you have anymore questions?' They shake their heads. I stand up and walk to Carlos. And give his shoulder a little squeeze for comfort because he looks really scared. 'Come with me.' I tell him and walk out of the room. Carlos walks with me and stands before me in the hall. 'What happened Carlos, you look so scared?'

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