The second wife

Chapter 14

Akiko P.O.V.

As it's getting warmer out, I usually spend most of my time outside. Either taking walks, or having my tea on the porch. "You like him, don't you?" I ask Kazue, in our own language, as she pours me tea. "Him?" Kazue repeats, and follows my gaze toward Basen, who is walking by. "It doesn't really matter. He doesn't like me" she answers. "What makes you say that?" I ask, surprised. "He likes one of them consorts" Kazue says and even though she doesn't show it, I can sense a hint of disappointment. "Those are the emperors, he can never touch them" I say. "That doesn't matter though, does it?" Kazue asks. "It does." I answer with a smile. "His love for her is fading. I can see how he looks and interacts with you" I say. "Akiko-sama. Please don't give a girl false hope" Kazue says. I smile again. "I apologize. It's none of my business" I say. Kazue just bows her head. It's silent for a bit, as I look out over the garden. "Would you mind talking to me in this language as well? I know talking in ours makes you happy, but I want to practice" Kazue says. "I don't mind, as long as you don't mind that I talk in ours sometimes as well" I say. "Of course not" Kazue says. It's silent for a bit again. "I miss our silly little village" I say, in the language of this country. "Why?" Kazue asks. "I miss my life there I guess" I say. "Don't you have a great life here?" Kazue asks. "To others it may seem that way" I say, after a hesitation. Kazue doesn't respond. "I think I was brought here to produce babies for Zuigetsu-sama" I say. "Why do you think that?" Kazue asks, genuinely surprised. "When I got here, he often came over and spend the night. When I was pregnant I barely saw him, other than the occasional check up on the baby. When I lost Tian, as soon as he was allowed he often came over again. As if he wanted me to be pregnant again as soon as possible. And now that I am, I barely see him again" I say. Kazue doesn't respond. "Doesn't he have a wife for that?" She asks. "Who knows if she's even fertile?" I ask. It's silent again. "Well....if you put it that way" Kazue mumbles .

It's hard to feel happy, or relieved when I see Jinshi. At the same time I feel guilty that I want to go back to my room. "How are you feeling?" Jinshi asks as I sit down. "I am doing fine" I say, leaning back against the chair. Because of the layers and my hanfu, I'm not really showing yet, even though my belly is growing much faster than with Tian. "Sorry I'm late" Mao Mao says as she walks in. "I just sat down myself." I answer. The silence is awkward and I know that all three of us feel this. "There's no poison" Mao Mao says softly after she tastes the dishes we have for dinner. "Is the food not to your liking?" Jinshi asks, after they started eating but I haven't. "I'm not really hungry to be honest" I say. "You need to eat something. You need the nutrients" Jinshi says. I don't respond and look at my plates. "You can just eat the broth, if the rest is too heavy for you" Mao Mao says. The company of the two of you is too heavy for me. "It's fine" I say softly and start eating. Suddenly Jinshi almost slams his chopsticks on the table. "Do you really think that you're just here to produce babies?" He asks, almost shouting. "Where did you hear that?" I ask. "Basen heard you talk. If you didn't want anyone to hear, you should have talked in your own language" Jinshi snaps. "So if I want to confide in my attendant I have to talk my own language? Got it" I say. "That's not the point!" Jinshi says. "I know what the point his but how can I think otherwise?!" I snap back. "If Basen heard, he must have also heard the reasoning." I add. Jinshi doesn't respond and leans back in his chair. "Why didn't you come talk to me?" He asks. "It doesn't really matter." I shrug. "It does. I don't want you to think that, because it's not true. I am sorry if it appeared that way" Jinshi says. I put my chopsticks. "Please excuse me" I say standing up. "You're not excused" Jinshi says sharply so I sit down again. "A little help here?" He sighs. "I don't know how I can help. I would've thought the same if it is the way Basen said" Mao Mao says. "Thanks a lot" Jinshi says dryly.

I look up at the branches of a tree. The petals of the flowers are starting to let go and fall, making place for fresh leaves. "Everything alright, Akiko-sama?" Kazue asks, as she steps up next to me. I sigh. "Times just passes fast huh?" I ask, continuing to walk along. Kazue doesn't respond. "Don't be too angry at Basen-kun. He was just doing his job" I say. "I'm not angry at him" Kazue says. "Don't be too disappointed then. You would do the same" I say. "Yeah, probably" she sighs. "Have you talked to him at all?" I ask. "I haven't seen him. So I couldn't have" Kazue says. I glance at Kazue. "Maybe you should go to him" I say. "I probably won't" she shrugs. I smile slightly. "Akiko-sama" I say softly, making me look up. Jinshi and Basen are walking this way. Basen is carrying something and Jinshi is frowning as he is saying something. But they stop as soon as they see us. "Good morning" I say, bowing my head. Kazue bows as she also wishes them good morning. "Good morning as well, my darling" Jinshi says with a smile while Basen bows his head because of what he's carrying. "How was your walk?" He asks. "Fine" I answer. "How are you feeling?" Jinshi asks. "Fine" I answer again. Jinshi sighs. "Give us a minute" he says and Basen and Kazue walk an away but stay in eye sight. "I thought we had settled this, Akiko" Jinshi says. "Yes" I say. "So now your honest answer?" He asks. I sigh as I rub the back of my neck. "I had trouble sleeping, so my morning was difficult" I say. "Is there something I can do?" Jinshi asks. He sounds sincere. I glance at Kazue. She's frowning a little sadly but she's listening to Basen, and nods as he talks. "No. But thank you" I answer. "I'll come by later okay?" Jinshi asks and I nod with a smile. Both Basen and Kazue are smiling slightly, when Jinshi calls for him. They return and both go on their way. "And have you cleared the air?" I ask. "He said he didn't want you to feel that way, and that he hoped that if Zuigetsu-sama knew, he would change his behavior" Kazue says. "At least you're smiling again" I chuckle as I continue to walk back to our wing. "I was already smiling!" Kazue protests.