A List Of Our Firsts

28 and 30

As it turned out, having sex with kids in the house was an easily solved solution.

They'd spent countless hours lamenting and pining for each other, because as soon as Connie got home they'd have to go and pick up the kids.

They didn't have to, but Stevens heart always broke when they had to catch a ride. He wanted their kids to always have consistency, and he was going to give them solid ground whenever he could.

So their sex life suffered.

"We could ask the Crystal Gems to take them for a night," Steven murmured into her ear as they lay in bed, both completely naked just for the sake of being closer.

Connie grimaced so hard he sat up a bit.

"What?"

"It's just..." She trailed a finger from his earring to his shoulder, the minxy little wife of his knowing he adored that. "Look at how you turned out?"

He burst out into disbelieving, offended but not offended laughter. "Holy shit, Ni."

"I didn't mean it like that! Hence the question mark!" She buried a burning face into his bouncing chest. "The Crystal Gems aren't... ideal. The last thing I need is some freak gem accident or worse..."

"The Diamonds visiting," They finished in unison.

Most of their kids weren't in elementary school yet save for Lakshmi, or Lucky as they liked to call her. She was a lively and terrifyingly brave girl compared to her two younger siblings. Her nickname had stemmed from an almost fatal birthing mishap, and her climbing as a toddler never resulting in a fall because she could float. Those big pink eyes saw everything, and those little ears heard everything too.

"Do you remember when Lucky asked why you called Mommy a bitch?" Connie crooned as he sighed heavily.

"How could I forget?" He laughed regretfully. "You never let me forget." He pulled her to sit on top of his stomach and hummed.

The Breakthrough:

His wife had been testy all day. Normally she was full of workaholic and prim behavior but good lord could that woman bait a man off of a cliff. She was absolutely irresistible to him, and her choosing to spend their time in the kitchen brushing her butt against his crotch every chance she got became a problem quickly.

He'd grabbed her hips and pulled her into him at one point, pining her against the island and murmuring under his breath, "Stop being a bitch."

Lucky, age 4, had made shuffling noises in her room, prompting him to let go of his wife and keep cooking. She ran in with wide eyes and frowned up at Steven disapprovingly. She looked just like her mother as she asked, "Daddy? What's a bitch?"

He gasped out a laugh as Connie snorted, both trying not to encourage that word. The innocence of her voice was killing them though.

Steven turned the burner down and knelt in front of his daughter seriously as he could. "Lakshmi, we don't use that word in our house. That's a very, very bad word."

She considered that and looked up at her mother, whose hand was covering the tiny grin she swore was starting to spread to signal her impending laughter. "It is. Bad words are few and far between, you can find other words when you're frustrated."

"Then," She asked, looking back to her father with matching pink eyes, "Why did you call Mommy a bitch, Daddy?"

The combined guilt and embarrassment was going to turn him pink, but he tried to smother that down. "Sometimes, Mommies and Daddies have moments where they don't think before they speak. You remember how we talked about that?"

The girl nodded and squished his cheeks. "It's okay, Daddy. We still love you. Just try to think next time."

She ran off, unknowingly making her father's heart throb. Having kids was even more rewarding than he'd hoped for.

"Don't say it again, Lakshmi," Connie warned.

"Okay, Mommy!"

Steven turned the burner off so they could go outside, bubble, and laugh as hard as they wanted to. "She's got super hearing!" Her father cackled. "We're so screwed!"

Connie sat up suddenly with wide, excited eyes. Steven frowned in concern before he caught her drift and looked around them.

"That just might work."