A List Of Our Firsts

30 Minutes Before Midnight/ Connies 18th Birthday Morning

"Are you excited?"

It was a brisk evening, but his car had a charger he could plug a heated blanket into and snake out of his window so it could rest over Connie, who was lying on top of him. They both stared up at the stars, his hands holding her hips steady. He was broad enough now that he could balance her like this. It always felt new and strange, but comfortable.

"For my birthday?"

Steven glanced around out of habit and chuckled. "No shit, Connie. What else would I be talking about?"

He felt her body rock against him as she started laughing quietly, then louder until she could barely breathe. "It's so weird when you curse! It's like hearing your toddler say it."

"I'm not a toddler. It's an extra bit of therapy I give myself. You don't know how cathartic screaming 'fuck' as loud and as hard as I could in the kindergarten was."

His therapist hadn't said it directly, in fact it had taken him four sessions later to connect the dots himself about it.

"Sometimes we have to say things we don't typically say just to get it out there," She'd said earnestly. "I know when I'm frustrated, there's certain things I can say to release tension."

He'd been pretty sure he couldn't bring himself to say a curse word, but had warped until he'd found the perfect place to try. Connie would have laughed, but he put his hair up and planted his feet in preparation.

The hybrid couldn't do it, he tried really hard. He thought about everything that had happened to him and even still, nothing that vulgar would come out of his 16 year old mouth.

The second he stopped trying so hard, it bubbled out like it was just under the surface. "Fuck it. I'm just gonna go home and eat a pie."

He started heading back to the warp before realizing what he'd said. He blushed and looked around, but there was nobody to judge him for it.

So he'd done it again, much louder.

His hand dropped to adjust her by her hip, noticing she'd slipped a bit and wanting her to be comfortable.

When he tried to move it away, her other hand intercepted his and held it steady. "You think you could... stay like that? It feels good."

Uh oh. He willed himself to stay soft, trying to think of every disgusting thing in the world instead of dwelling on the fact he was making her feel good. Puberty was unkind, he'd found. At least purity wise.

"Steven." She leaned her head back to look at him, doing her best not to laugh. "Contain yourself. You get worked up over almost nothing and then you get... excited."

"You excite me." He dropped his head and it banged against the car. "I'm sorry. You can get up if you want."

"Why would I want to? It's kind of an ego boost." She refocused on the stars and sighed, feeling his rapid but comforting heartbeat against her back. "I am excited for my 18th... which is in... 24 minutes."

"Tell me why." He needed the distraction.

She sat up and turned around so she was straddling him, her elbows resting against his chest. "Are you kidding? College, sex, taxes, marriage–,"

He couldn't help the way he grinned. "Oh, so now you're entertaining it."

"Entertaining is a start."

They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, just genuinely enjoying each other's company.

"Steven."

"Mhm?"

"You're not doing a very good job of controlling yourself." She sat back up all the way and he huffed in a mix of surprise and pleasure. He hadn't even realized he didn't go down.

"I'm sorry." He took an unsure breath and looked down toward the city. "I can't help it sometimes."

She was genuinely curious, after all she didn't have one so she had no idea what he was going through. "Why not? Is it a once it's there it stays kinda thing?"

He tipped his head back and forth, making a thoughtful expression. "No, it's random and uncontrollable for the most part. I can be driving back from the store and suddenly I have to wait 20 minutes before I can go back inside the temple."

"So it's not because you think I'm sexy?" That's how she'd been taught it worked. Apparently sex ed was useless.

His eyes slid to hers in a fluid motion. "I've never even seen you naked. Isn't that the requirement?"

"They stunted you so hard. I feel like I need to apologize for them. No, Starboy." She patted his cheek solemnly, sparking a question from him.

"Do... do you think I'm sexy?"

She snorted and brought her hands up to her face. "Oh my stars, Steven! I can't believe you just asked me that!"

He grinned at her flustered actions and tucked a hand under his head. "Why? You asked me first!"

She sighed deeply and tried to compose herself. "You think I'd hit on you as often as I do if I didn't?"

"I thought you just liked making me blush and panic. You said I'm stunted, so I'm going to keep asking you stupid questions until I understand everything."

Connie smiled. "Why don't you ask your dad?"

"I don't trust my dad. I dont trust him not to panic and tap out." He rested his hands on the outside of her thighs and let his eyes slide shut as his face grew hot. "I trust you to tell me like it is, and lie to me when I need it."

"I still don't think it qualifies as lying." At first she'd been incredibly offended, but Steven always managed to make it sound romantic.

"I like when you tell me everything's going to be okay. I like when you tell me you'll never leave me. I like when you tell me how much I irritate you with the biggest smile on your face. I adore when you lie about staring at me." He brought her hands up to kiss them both, pulling her a bit over him more. He gazed into her eyes and saw such beauty. "I love when you lie to me, Ms. Maheswaren."

Dammit. That husky baritone was going to get them in trouble. "You're starting to glow." She brushed a finger over his cheeks and rested it again next to her own that had somehow ended up bracing her against his chest.

"I can't help it. You're beautiful."

Connie smirked. "Do you glow like this for your other girlfriends?"

"This kind of light is only for you." His eyes dropped to her lips, he could swear they were closer than they were moments ago.

"You're just dying for a kiss, aren't you?"

He grinned from ear to ear and nodded. "Can you tell?"

"I can't, but saying stuff like that deserves kisses."

She pulled the heated blanket back up over her shoulders and leaned back down to kiss him repeatedly.