Seen There, Done That (Sensara Series 1)

50

I already knew my feelings towards Kuya Maddox. Pilit ko lang iyon isinasantabi dahil sa takot. I’m afraid to disappoint anyone who believes in me.

I’m also scared that these feelings will take up so much space to the point I won’t have anything for Miki. Pero hindi naman pala ganoon.

I kept reminding myself that I’m just lonely. I’m just too sad about Miki’s passing. And every single act of kindness towards me was transformed into something else.

But I got scared when Kuya Maddox faced an accident too. Akala ko ay mawawalan ulit ako.

“Achie! Oh my God! Hija! Achie ko,” hagulgol ni Tita Chona at mabilis na lumapit.

The stillness of the night was awakened by her screams. 

“Tita…” namimilog ang mga mata ko habang tumagos ang tingin kay Kuya Maddox.

He’s behind Tita Chona as he watches us embrace each other.

Pinupog ako ng halik sa mga pisngi ni Tita at niyakap ako nang mahigpit.

“I’ve been praying for this for years now, Achie. The Lord has answered my prayers! I miss you! I miss you, hija! Dito lang pala kita m-makikita!”

“I miss you, Tita Chona,” I croaked. “Pasok po tayo,” anyaya ko. “Dito po tayo at sobrang lamig sa labas.”

Nakalingkis siya sa akin habang iniyakad ko sila sa apartment.

“I just know you needed to see her,” bulong sa akin ni Kuya Maddox noong naglapit kami.

“Naku, Achie! Hindi mo nasabing may bisita ka! Pasok po! Pasok kayo!”

Dinaluhan ko si Ate Precy na magligpit sa maliit na tanggapan. Nakailang hingi rin ako ng paumanhin kay Tita at Kuya Maddox.

“Bakit nandito? Mag-aasawa ka na ba? Alam na ito ng nanay mo?” si Ate Precy na hinila ako sa tabi.

“Ate, hindi,” paswit ko.

Iniwan ko siya ro’n na humahagikgik at hinarap sina Tita Chona. She’s already on her knees while looking around the small space. Si Kuya Maddox ay nakatayo pero halos yumuko na rin dahil sobrang tangkad niya para sa loob ng bahay.

“Achie, you live here?” mangiyak-ngiyak muli na ani ni Tita Chona. “Sa akin ka na ulit tumira!”

“Mom.”

“Oh, bakit? You can live with us again, Achie. May trabaho ka rin daw rito sabi ni Maddox? Hanggang kailan pa iyon?”

“Tita, matagal pa po ang kontrata ko-”

“End it! Isama mo ako ro’n-”

“Mom,” si Kuya Maddox muli.

Si Tita Chona ay pinisil ang mga kamay ko at pilit kinumbinsi. “I don’t care if you’re going to be fined or whatever! Ako ang bahala!”

Natawa ako at humingi ng tulong kay Kuya Maddox. Gaya ng dati ay siya pa rin ang kumokontra sa ina.

“Hindi puwede ang ganoon, Mom. Achie loves her job too.”

“Achie,” lapit sa akin ni Tita at humina ang boses. Kapuwa kami ni Kuya Maddox ang nagsalubong ang kilay. “Doon din naman tayo mauuwi, ‘di ba?”

Umiling ako dahil nagtataka. Maliit siyang ngumiti sa akin at hinila ako patayo para malayo kay Kuya Maddox.

“Saan pa pupunta?” he asked.

“Ay!” si Ate Precy at napalabas sa lungga. “Dito kayo? Sige po! Dito kayo, Achie!”

“Thank you,” sagot naman ni Tita Chona at hinarap na muli ako.

“I know everything now, Achie. Nabanggit na sa akin ni Maddox ang lahat. Though I have had a hunch before. At si Dette?! Nagsumbong si Dox sa akin tungkol sa nangyari nga sa resto niya. He’s crying and all. Intrimitida nga iyon si Dette. But, hija! Hindi na dapat pinapansin ang ganoong mga tao! And what about it? What about Maddox and you?”

“It made them… uncomfortable, Tita. I thought you’ll be too! You know how much I love Miki but…”

Pumaswit siya at tumango-tango.

“Of course I know that, Achie! Alam ko iyon. Nakita ko lahat ng iyon. Pero nasaksihan ko rin ang sa inyo ni Maddox,” malaki siyang ngumiti ngayon. “Ang mahalaga ay kung saan kayo sasaya ni Maddox.”

Umawang ang bibig ko at agad nanginig ang mga labi. Something lifted in my heart. To hear that coming from Tita Chona? Parang iyon lang talaga ang hinihintay ko.

Napatakip ako sa bibig noong magsimulang tumulo ang mga luha. Her eyes rounded as she saw me crying for the first time since we haven't met.

“Oh, Achie…”

Yumakap ako kay Tita Chona na dinaluhan na rin ako sa pag-iyak. She combed my hair and tried to soothe me this time.

“I’ll be glad too, Achie, believe me.”

Lalo akong hindi matahan sa mga dinagdag niya.

“I’m so lucky. My sons are so lucky because they are loved by you. Lubos-lubos kong ipagpapasalamat iyon, Achie.”

Hinarap niya ako at hinawi ang buhok na dumikit sa pisngi. “Such a beautiful woman. Napakabuting bata. Maalalahanin at mapagmahal! As a mother, you’re a blessing from above, hija. We’re so blessed to have you.”

I used to be so afraid of letting people down. Hindi dapat ako magpakita ng pagiging mahina. I tend to always keep it to myself until I can no longer hold it.

Alam kong mahirap ang mawalan. But I think they never knew how difficult it is to live on what is left of you.

Tita Chona never knew how they are a blessing for me too. For giving me Miki and Maddox in this lifetime.

From Miki, I’ve learned how to dream, to grow, and to love like I’ve never known what love is like before him. 

From Maddox, I’ve learned how to let my guard down. That there will be someone who would like to see me cry my eyes out and be just the weak me. Just me. And I will love him like I won’t love again like that.

“Achie?”

His chest vibrated from chuckling as I embraced him.

“Nagasgasan na yata yung bike mo?”

Lalo akong sumiksik sa kanya sa pagkakayakap. I can hear my bike’s chain still going as I drop it off on the road. But his breathing and heartbeats are much louder.

“Did something happen at work?” may tunog na ng pag-aalala sa tono niya. 

Umiling ako at tumingala. His brows are furrowed and he looks curious and scared at the same time. Mahigpit na humawak sa mga balikat ko at nanghihingi ng sagot.

Unti-unting umangat ang gilid ng mga labi ko.

“May sasabihin lang ako.”

“What is it, Achie? May nangyari ba?”

Kumalas pa siya at pinasadahan ang katawan ko at parang may hinahanap. My heart tickles at the sight of him just being concerned for me.

“Maddox,” I called out.

Natigil siya at nanlalaki ang mga mata na tumingin sa akin. His mouth grew wide open and I continued grinning.

“Maddox,” pag-uulit ko at ngayon ay natatawa na rin. I laugh quietly until I draw out a gasp.

“Mahal kita, Maddox…” I managed to utter.