Seen There, Done That (Sensara Series 1)

Wakas

“You’ll only get to know Kashina if you come home here, Kuya.”

Ngumisi ako sa kapatid at nagpatuloy sa niluluto. Sa palagiang pagtawag ay puro lang siya pagbibida sa girlfriend niya. Walang ibang bukambibig kun’di Kashina, Kashina, Kashina.

“Uwi na!”

I feel like I’ve known her even though I haven’t seen her.

“Ikaw ba ay wala pa, Dox? Find someone like Achie! So very magalang and mabait!”

Napapailing na lang ako dahil siya rin ang laging binabanggit ni Mom.

They talked about her so lovingly. Akala mo ay may anghel na bumaba at pinatira ro’n sa bahay namin sa takot na mawala ito sa paningin.

But I can’t seem to understand if they are talking about the same Kashina I am seeing. 

She’s dressed in all black just like the rest of us. A fitted long sleeve and trousers. Her face is small but it became smaller because of her bangs. She’s devoid of any emotion even though she’s talking about memories with and of Miki.

Hangga’t maaari ay hindi ko siya pinapansin. But one can’t really help but to notice her.

Hindi naman mapipintasan ang pag-aaruga niya kay Mom. And for that I am thankful. It made me feel a little bad, though. Na siya na ang mabuti. Simula noon ay nakaramdam ako ng kaunting inis.

“Huy!” si Manang at kumaway-kaway sa mukha ko. “Si Achie ba?” sunod niya sa tinitingnan ko.

Achie’s carrying Mom’s food upstairs. Laging tahimik at parang kailangan pang bilhin ang mga salita at ngiti niya.

She looks rude with her poker face, her upturned eyes that slowly blinks, and her small pinkish lips. Hindi pa nakatulong na hindi siya mahilig kumibo. 

“She’s a little weird.”

Natawa si Manang pagkatapos ay napahingang malalim. “Intindihin mo na lang. Nakakaawa rin ang batang iyan. Ganyan naman siya noong idinala ni Miki rito pero… parang lalong lumala nung nawala s-si Miki.”

“Pasok na po ako, Kuya Maddox,” paalam niya lagi sa umaga.

I sipped on my already cold coffee while waiting for her to go to her class. Hatid-sundo ni Kuya Obeng.

“Una na po ako, Kuya Maddox,” she bowed and always ran towards the car.

Halos hindi ko masulyapan ang mukha dahil sa mahabang buhok at ang bangs niyang humaharang dito. Yumuyuko pa siya at mabilis na tumatakbo at parang takot na takot na madapo ang tingin sa akin.

She’s really nice. I’d give her that. Sa sobrang buti ay hindi na rin tama. 

“That kid is resting, Mom. Kauuwi galing sa school tapos ay hinahanap mo na po agad dito? Bakit? To entertain you? She looks tired. Give her a break.”

Naluha agad si Mom. Ang madalas naming pagtatalo ay kalahok lagi si Achie.

Noong minsan na pinagsabihan ko ay parang ako pa ang nakaramdam ng pagkakamali. She really insists on helping Mom even though she absolutely needed one too.

Kaso ay matigas talaga ang ulo.

“Miki, nandito na ako. Nakauwi na pero wala ka naman.”

A small smile planted on my lips as I wiped his tombstone. 

“You really made sure that I’ll come home,” naiiling kong wika. “Hindi mo naman sinabi na sa ganitong paraan. Your girlfriend too. Saan mo ba napulot si Achie?” natawa ako kasabay ng hangin.

“She’s really all what you said she is. Kaso parang may kulang? Hindi mo nabanggit na matigas ang ulo, hindi nakikinig, may sariling paninindigan, at matapang.”

I found myself smiling wider involuntarily as I thought of Achie. She’s quiet but she's all that too.

I clicked immediately on Belinda’s post and liked it. Sa unang slide ay nandoon si Achie. It’s a stolen shot of her as Belinda’s fixing her bangs. May kagat na strawberry at may tasa ng tsokolate. I swiped the next picture and it revealed her teeth tainted with chocolate. She scrunches her nose and I think this is the first time I saw her differently.

“Puwede naman palang ngumiti,” bulalas ko.

It’s also my first time to witness Achie letting her guard down. Noong inakala na ako si Miki dahil sa suot na damit ay narinig ko ang pag-iyak niya.

And in that moment, I knew I fell in love with her honesty. Her breakdowns. Kung gaano siya kagalit at nabigo noong hindi naman ako ang inaasahan niya. I fell in love with her sobs. Her eyes glistened because of tears. Kumikinang. She gasps as she tries to even her breathing. Even that… it’s too beautiful.

“Bakit niyo naman ginawa iyon kay Achie?! Mom!”

Halos maghurumentado ako noong bumalik ang mga alaala. My chest heaves as I tried to be calm, to be in control of my emotions, but I just couldn’t.

Napaupo ako at humilamos sa mukha. Achie and her mom already left the room. Ngayon ay kami na lang ang naiwan kasama ang mga doktor.

I don’t regret it. Na paalisin siya ngayon dito sa mansion. Achie deserves so much better!

“M-maddox? Maddox…” nanginginig na lapit ni Mom. I looked at her and she slumped on the floor.

“She doesn’t deserve all these, Mom. She has a l-life to live. Hindi para maburo rito sa bahay at mag-alaga… ng kung sino! She already wasted her time here! Kay Miki tapos ako pa? You don’t have to do that to h-her…” umiling-iling ako.

Habang buhay kong dadalhin ang sakit at bigat na idinulot ko sa kanya. Namin. 

But to see her living her new life without thinking of us made me not regret it. She’s always strong and independent. Kaya hindi kataka-taka na malayo na ang narating niya.

She’s still the Kashina Eve Natividad that I once knew. But now, without the burden of thinking and trying to please our family.

I watch her as she solemnly stare at Miki’s tombstone. Halos mapunit ang labi ko dahil sa nakikita. Her face is still devoid of any emotions. Tuwid ang ekspresyon at parang hindi magugulat.

Her hair dances along the morning wind. Tumagilid ang ulo ko para matitigan pa siyang mabuti.

The sun’s rays look like a paid actor as it embraces the beautiful woman in front of me. It lends all its yellow and warmth to Achie.

“Lend it all to her and please sips away the blues inside of her,” dalangin ko.

She squinted her eyes as she looked at me. Inaaya na ako ro’n.

“You’re done, Achie?”

“Hmm,” ngumiti siya at tumango. And God, I think that she already drunk up all the rays because she lit up.

I planted a kiss on her forehead as we switched places. Ngayon ay ako na ang kaharap ni Miki. Pumikit ako at taimtim siyang kinausap.

My heart and thanks go to you, brother. You’re very blessed to take with you the way Achie loves you. Hindi iyon mapapantayan at hindi na matatagpuan pa muli. I know how much you’ve treasured her and her love.

Thank you for giving her to me too. 

Lumingon ako kay Achie at tumaas ang mga kilay niya.

“Ano’ng sinabi mo kay Miki?” she pouted curiously.

Tuyo na ang pisngi niya na kanina ay dinaluyan ng mga luha.

“I asked him… if you might love me too?”

Mabilis ang paglabi ni Achie at nangilid ang mga luha. Marahan akong tumawa at inabot siya para yakapin.

“Para sa akin na ba iyan?” turo ko sa reaksyon niya.

She returned my embrace and nodded her head. Nagtago sa dibdib ko at alam kong doon na umiiyak.

“I love you, Achie.”

A tear in the eye and a lump from her throat is already too much for me and I wouldn’t ask for more.