Soul to Soul

Chapter Four - Nobody Loves You...

Eve Chambers...

After a ten-hour shift; running around on my feet as I fetch food for other people and listen to the complaints of waiting too long, or the food not being to their satisfaction and having to plant a smile on my face and take all the abuse without saying a word; the very last thing I want to do is cook when I get home so I stop at the local Chinese take-away restaurant and place an order for my favourite chicken fried rice and prawn crackers. As I sit on the large window seat, my mind inevitably slips back to earlier in the day.

The three customers who were without a doubt the most beautiful people I have ever seen in real life. The one who looked at me as if he knew me already was unnerving if I am being honest. The way his eyes locked on to me and watched my every move with unrestrained attraction.

Was it really possible?

The most beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on, was he really attracted to me?

Me! Little, average me. I mean, I have been told plenty of times that I am beautiful, but I never fully believed that. I mean, sure I think I am pretty, but I am plain. There is nothing alluring about me – my hair doesn't shine or hold buoyancy like the girl from the diner earlier. My eyes are bright, but they don't shine with the life that comes from someone who enjoys their existence. I am not skinny; I have curves on top of curves and at times I worry I am actually just fat.

The voice in my head earlier had kept coming at me, the same sentence over and over again, "come to me, Eve!"

Who is it?

Is it even someone? Or is it my mind playing tricks on me?

I don't address the voice, in-fact I do everything in my power to ignore it. I know that no good will come from addressing it. I fear what might happen to me if I did just answer, even once. Would it lead to an onslaught of more voices?

If I were to reply would that make me more, crazy?

I fear what would become of me. As humans it has always been drummed into our heads that to hear voices means that we have some sort of mental health issue. I don't want to be mentally ill, and I fear if I cave in and reply to this voice – it will end with people avoiding me as I walk down the street talking to myself like a truly mental patient. I can't allow that to happen. I have to find a way to work around this because honestly, living with it for the rest of my life is a scarier concept than anything else I could ever imagine.

For the first time in my life, I felt truly unsure of myself, and I did not like that feeling one little bit.

If I thought that last night had been a fluke of some kind, today in the diner had put that feeling to bed. When Noah had grabbed me again, I had felt that same power from last night flowing through me. And I had caught the glow building from inside me – panic had surged through me in that moment. Blinding panic that someone would see and then what would happen to me?

Visions of labs and being tied down to gurneys while scientists performed unspeakable tests on me flashed before my eyes and fear unlike any I have ever felt before lanced through me.

Whatever was happening to me had to be kept to myself. I had to find a way to cope with it and how to deal with it. Alone. What would happen if I lost control?

A life in a cage.

An existence of tests that undoubtedly would hurt more than anything I have ever experienced.

"Chicken fried rice and prawn crackers, order ready!" The little Chinese woman behind the counter called out and I jumped from my perch and thanked her before letting myself out into the night.