Soul to Soul

Chapter Seventeen - Purple Rain.

A Few Hours Later...
Jensen Jackson...

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow, I never meant to cause you any pain, I only wanted one time to see you laughing, I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain,"

I am not normally one for romantic ballads but there was something about this song by Prince that seemed to resonate inside of me. My thoughts are fully captivated by the beautiful wonder that is Sage.

The warning from Nathan fully embedded in my mind. If I continue to deny the bond, and if I insist on not claiming my mate it is going to cause pain. I can't even begin to imagine what that pain would be like, but I do know that it is not a pain that I want to cause anyone.

Would we be able to withstand it?

Would I be able to withstand seeing my mate in pain?

What about Mary?

I still loved Mary. More than I probably should. It is that fact that is giving me pause. I shouldn't be as concerned about her as I am about my mate but I am. I think that I will always be concerned about my girlfriend. Breaking up is not going to change that. I know that deep down. I know that a part of me is always going to love her. I can't explain it, I don't even know if what I am feeling is normal but there is a part of me that will always belong to Mary. A part that even Sage can't touch. And that pains me.

I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to feel so trapped by everything.

That is what I feel.

Trapped.

Trapped in my relationship with Mary.

Trapped in my connection with Sage.

Trapped in this suspended state. I can't move on with my life until I have seen Mary. I want to do it now, because Nathan was right about one thing, the longer I leave it to deal with, the more it is going to fester and that is not something that I am prepared to let continue. It is that resolve that has me marching across campus to the admin-wing of the main teaching building.

I can't wait another month to go home and address this. I need to make a clean break and if I can go home for a day to deal with it, then I can come straight back, giving both of us the space and time to begin the healing process. Unfortunately, with the academy rules I have to request permission to open a portal that would get me home in a matter of seconds as opposed to flying that would take much longer.

I know that there is simply no way that I am going to be able to concentrate enough to bond with my new coven if I have this hanging over my head and I only hope that our Head-Mistress will take pity on me, and I am not against using the fact that she is good friends with my parents if I have to.

Our newly formed coven is important if we are to help Eve and I can't possibly give my best when my focus is split. I mean, I know that I need to break up with Mary but that doesn't mean that I am going to instantly start something with Sage because that would be a truly douche-move that even I am not capable of. No, me and Sage are going to take time before anything happens but at least I will not have to worry about being close to her, or what might happen if I am too close to her. I will be free and clear to let what happens, happen organically.

"I never wanted to be your weekend lover, I only wanted to be some kind of friend, baby, I could never steal you from another, it's such a shame our friendship had to end, purple rain, purple rain, purple rain, purple rain, purple rain, purple rain, I only want to see you under the purple rain,"