Quotes 🐸

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Brittany: Alright guys! Who wants me to read their fortune?
Evelyn: you know those things don't work-
Brittany: SHUT. UP. SHELBY
Brittany: We're in high school, Shelby. Okay?? This is the ONLY semblance of control that I have over my life, THIS TINY THREAD HOLDING TOGETHER MY SANITY TOGETHER. SO! LET ME READ YOU'RE FORTUNE.
Evelyn: uhh... yellow...???
Brittany: Y-e-l-l-o-w
Brittany: number?
Evelyn: uhh..... 3....??????
Brittany: you're gonna marry a famous actor and have six kids!
Evelyn: I love half of that...

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Kyran randomly ranting about something: But I don't want to beat that dead hors- WOW- that is a horrible saying-
Kyran: Did any of you guys cry when you watched black beauty as a kid and the horsey's got hurt?
Kyran: I think I cried, Alot.... anyways what were we talking about???

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Sarah in a monotone voice: Hello and welcome to Kosoku, what can I get you?
Alec who was forced to get the sushi: Hi can I uh- oh wow-
Alec: do you happened to have anything on you're menu that's less the 20 dollars??
Sarah: Poor and fat? That's a real tragedy.
Alec: I'm sorry what was that...!?
Sarah: I said can you ever put a price on you're health?
Alec: Apparently you can and the price is $32 for some sushi..
Alec: can I just get a water..??
Sarah: Wonderful choice, our crystal enthused, not filtered water is drawn by hand on a mountain spring in Oregon then shipped in by horse every morning, that'll be 8.99 please.
Alec: I'm quite literally watching the employee in the back pour tap water into a cup behind you.
Sarah: That'll be 8.99

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Lucas: Kyran, why are you so sad all the time? There's so much goodness in this world.
Kyran: I don't know Luke, why do you have asthma?
Kyran: Theres so much AIR IN THE WORLD-

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Alec at 7yrs old in a obviously fake British accent: Mother, I have fallen off my scooter and require assistance
Alecs mom: Alec look at you're knee, you're bleeding
Alec: The pavement was the victim I was the victor.
Alecs mom: that's a pretty bad boo boo let me get something for that.
Alec: Bandage me in silk and I shall ride again!
Alecs mom: Okay, I'm gonna clean it for you so hold still-
Alec: what's that...?
Alecs mom: It's hydrogen peroxide.
Alec: ohh..
Alecs mom: it'll disinfect it.
Alec: Will it hurt...?
Alecs mom: ....no
Alec: Promise?
Alecs mom: ....Promise- well maybe a little bit.
Alec: Oh- it's kinda col-
...
Alec: *Insert agonizing scream*

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Gold: THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE COMES UP TO ME AND SAYS- "Wow you're so tall! Do you play basketball?"
IM JUST GONNA LOOK THEM DEAD IN THE EYE SOCKETS AND SAY- "WOW! YOU'RE SO SHORT! DO YOU PLAY MINI GOLF???"
Gold: ...
Gold: SEE HOW IT FEELS

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(*Insert burning dorm in the back*)
Firefighter: Hey hey hey are you alright
Kyran: I'm alright...
Firefighter: Okay, good-
Kyran: Wait- wait no no no my cat, my cat's still in there!
Firefighter: I'm sorry sir but you cannot go back in the building, it's too dangerous
Kyran: but my cat-
Firefighter: Please do not force us to restrain you
Kyran: This isn't personal.
Firefighter: wah-
Kyran rolling up his sleeves: I said this isn't personal.

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🐸 AHHHHHHH

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