Prologue

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January 1st 2023
New York City, New York

"I can't do this anymore Joe!" Taylor sighed, head in her hands unable to face the situation that was laying out right in front of her. She would have said she had fought hard: like an army guy, but that would have been false. Yet another lie. She had stopped fighting a long time ago.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked, coming across the room to sit across from Taylor on one of the arm chairs that hadn't been stained. A remenance of their last fight together. He truly was clueless but she wasn't shocked. He had watched her for years, bled as she tried to fight for their relationship.

He says he doesn't understand, and she says I know you don't!

"I said I am done. I am done fighting for something that is broken. We have gone too far to be fixed Joe, this is it!" Her voice quivered at these final words. Whilst she had certainly thought of this moment, it was here and it was now. And part of herself couldn't quite believe it. Was it Anger. Fear. Betrayal

Or even relief?

It had been six years of love. Or at least what she thought was love.

"So this is it huh. Six years of me loving you goes down the drain?" Joe scoffed turning to face the window and look out onto the morning sunrise coming up over the Hudson. New York City was always beautiful, but this time of year it was especially spectacular. Even now he was ignoring her.

"Please don't make this about you Joe."

"Well who else is it about. I know you Taylor, your aren't hypocritical enough for this to be about some other man. Well I would hope not, but then again, I feel like I don't even know you anymore!"

"Exactly!" Taylor replied, her voice strengthening with every syllable. She looked over at his body, still tend away from her towards the window. "You don't even know who I am anymore. You couldn't love me the way you used to. You couldn't even see that I was slowly dying., trying to fight for something that you didn't care abut enough to fit for as well. Do you know how much that broke me?"

Joe turned towards her finally, running his hand through his dirty blonde mane. It was something she used to do as well, she used to find comfort in it as she would stare into those deep blue abysses. Now nothing stared back at her. He look nervous, or guilty.

Both, maybe?

"You weren't exactly innocent. You were off here, there and everywhere playing songs and doing movies."

"I'm a musician Joe. That's kinda in my job description. I thought you were an actor, shouldn't you know too?" Taylor was shocked at herself. Never before had she felt like she had insulted him in this way. It had normally been harmless jokes, nothing more than a light hearted comment that was returned with a hit with a rogue pillow or soft furnishing. Now what hit her was his glare. She had mocked the one thing he fought so fiercely to protect.

Shame he never did that with me, she thought.

"How could you string this along Taylor. You said I was your Lover. The King of your Heart."

Taylor rolled her eyes at his reply "I said a lot of things Joe. You'd never marry me: with paper rings or gold ones for that matter. Why not."

She had stumped him. He was taken aback by her fiery response to his comment

"I, I I I I don't know." He was shaking and she could take a guess that his palms were starting to sweat with nerves. "I guess I just could never see myself marrying you!"

"Look who is stringing people along now!" Taylor uttered and she uncovered her face to look up at the world around her once more. This room used to scream Home. And now it was icy. There were the Christmas lights that they had left up until January, the forts made under covers; the posters that lined the walls, pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks. It was just silent. "Do you want to know what the worst part was Joe?" She finally said, placing her hands on her knees to stand up and face him eye to eye once more. It wasn't hard, he wasn't taller than her by much.

"What?"

"You didn't even ask." This wasn't a Champagne Problem. He hadn't gotten down on one knee and asked her. People had just skipped over to the part where she was fucked in the head.

"Would you have said yes?" Joe asked, looking over with a knowing look. Taylor honestly didn't know. The opportunity never arose. Truthfully, deep down, she knew that Joe was never the man she was going to marry. But it became so simple. And comfortable.

So she stayed.

There was a deafening silence between the pair of them. Taylor facing away from him at the kitchen island; Joe still remaining in the living room. Taylor was the one to break the silence.

"You can come and pick up your stuff tomorrow if you want. Ill let you pack." She didn't have the menace to throw him out with trash bags at his feet, but she also didn't want the paparazzi seeing. The media would have a field day with this. "I'll be in London for the next couple of weeks performing with Matty and the guys so just leave the keys of the side on your way out."

There was no use in dragging it out. And yet she couldn't face him. The man she had loved for six long years. The tears were finally flowing: salt streams out of her eyes and into the sink below her. She heard him approach from behind and clear his throat.

He hadn't wanted to scare her, she seemed timid, like a field mouse. She turned to face him for the final time.

"Goodbye Taylor." He hugged her for the last time. It felt awkward and misplaced. It felt worse than the ones they had shared secretly in the beginnings of their relationship, when no one had any idea about the pair of them. The door slammed coldly and she was left bitterly and utterly alone.

Hours later, Taylor found herself contained amongst tissues, blankets and ice cream. The pizza she had door dashed had been consumed and disposed off along with the mess they had made. It had been a mission to clean up: several smashed wine glasses, bottles of red staining her favourite rug. It had been cathartic, but nevertheless painful. She had told her friends about what had happened, just to keep them updated. They were always the first to find out, that was unless the media did first. She didn't want their help, or their pity. Just the knowledge that they understood, or at least knew was enough. Taylor hadn't told her parents yet. She ad wanted to, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. They would be so disappointed. Whilst they both had their suspicions about Joe: his intentions always being unclear, they never would have wished for it to end this way, or quite this soon. Taylor knew the secret was safe. Joe wouldn't go to the media about this. He had never wanted to speak about her or their relationship when they were in one. Why would he talk about her now?

The night was filled with one friends re-run after another, with Meredith, Olivia and Benjamin curled up around her aching body. She thought back to last year.

A year ago, she and Joe had been happy. There was glitter on the floor after that party, laughter and joy burst through the walls and seams of that house. And now the foundations had crumbled, and there were stains she was yet to get out. All she could think was how

Everything has changed !

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