Everything Has Changed

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

March 8th 2023
New York City, New York

Bags were packed.
And things were beginning again.

It was 9 days until Taylor's newest world tour began. She had named it the Eras Tour, choosing to honour the albums that had sadly not had the promotion and tours they deserved for whatever reasons. She knew this tour had been the final straw for her and Joe. It wasn't that he didn't like seeing her perform; in the beginning it had brought him much joy. But it the end it faded, like everything did. Faded like a love never destined to last. In the end it became him, or her career...

31st December 2022

"It me or music Taylor!" Joe had shouted, his voice echoing and bouncing off of the walls. These kinds of shouting matches had become the normality, and it was beginning to become tiresome. But he had never given her an ultimatum; never like this.

Taylor stood there, wide eyed with disbelief, the corners of her mouth drooping into a frown.

"You want me to give up my career. Do you know how hard I have worked for this Joe? Because I don't think you understand. I spent years growing my fanbase, pouring every penny we had into my music and touring. My whole family moved across the country to help me pursue my dreams. I nearly lost everything all those years ago. And now that I have it all back, I'm finally happy again. My happiness depends on this. But do you know what Joe, a year ago I think would have done it."

"Done what?" He spat, taking a sip from the wine glass beside him, filled to the brim with Merlot: not their usual style but you must push the boat out on New Years. She would come to regret this later.

"Given up my career. For you. A year ago I would have done anything for you. Because I loved you." Taylor sniffled, determined not to show her emotions. She knew how much he hated that. hated that she was overtly emotional; a crybaby, as he called it.

"Loved me. So what, this is it: you don't love me anymore?"

"Look Joe, I didn't say that. I just-" but he immediately cut her off.

"No buts Taylor. You clear as daylight just said you don't love me anymore. For how long huh. Days, Months. Years" His tone had changed. It was no longer dismissive; it was sneering; cold and demeaning.

"I'm slowly dying here and this is all you can say. You only think of yourself Joe. I chose to hide away and you loved that. But what you can't seem to understand is that, that wasn't me. I don't want to hide anymore. I want to live, to be free. And I can't keep killing myself to be your sad song anymore !" Her voice increased in volume with every word, rising to full angered shouts by the end of her outburst. Her confidence was matched and met with flying saucers of wine. Stains of which she would never get out.

One too many ultimatums later, here she was: sat on the floor of her closet, adjacent from her bedroom. A habit she had poorly gotten into whenever she felt panicked. Unlike a deer in headlights, she didn't freeze. She fled. It used to be Joe who would lure her out: sometimes into loving arms and sometimes with harsh facts and a reality check. Now the job fell on the shoulders of whoever was around that day.

Today that was Tree, who Taylor heard coming down the hallway, obviously coming to check on her again. She had a tendency to zone out during these times of importance; without Joe, now more than ever. As much as she hated to admit it, Joe had been her rock. Now she had be her own rock, and that was tough sometimes. But nobody else knew. Not the media, or anyone other than her close friends.

Close friends: its a funny concept. Maybe because it is something that is forever changing. A few years ago, Taylor would never have believed anyone who would tell her that Karlie was no longer a close friend. Or even a friend at all. She still had that letter, tucked away somewhere in the back of a drawer. But she knew it was there. Taylor often wondered why she didn't just screw it up and throw it in the trash, but part of her could never bring herself to do it. What was it that she was holding onto so badly? She couldn't really tell.