Everything Has Changed

The Last Time I Committed Suicide

August 21st 2025
Kansas City, Missouri

"Hey you." Travis smiled, coming into the hospital room with Luna on his hip, the bouquet made up of sunflowers and daisies in the other free hand. He placed a kiss lightly on her lips, feeling how dry and cracked they had become from the stark grey air of the hospital room she had been cooped up in for over a week. It was later on in the afternoon and visiting times were officially over, but the hospital had made an exception for them. Well an exception for Taylor after Tree had shouted down the phone at them. The hospitals in Kansas City weren't exactly equipped for high celebrity clientele like the bigger cities of New York City, Los Angeles and Chicago but they had made the best of it and so far, nothing major had been leaked to the press. Of course they knew she was in hospital, they had photographic evidence and proof of it sadly but nobody but them and the doctors knew the reason why she was there. And that was how it was going to stay. They had decided together that whilst Taylor always liked to be open and honest with her fans, this was something too far and much too personal to be shared with the whole entire world. Maybe one day she would write a song about it, but not now. 

"How are you feeling?" Travis asked, taking a seat next to Taylor's bed and placing Luna on his lap. 

"I'm ok, very tired but they say that's to be expected." Taylor yawned, rolling over as much as she was able to do so in the cramped uncomfortable hospital bed. It felt more like a prison, with her blankets tangled around her like a straight jacket. She had been surprised when she had woken up that they hadn't put her in one. But apparently they were outdated and barbaric. 

"Yeah, the doctor said as we came in that the physchiatrist came by again today. Did she have anything new to say?" 

"Not really other than that she thinks I can continue my therapy from home from now on." She stated, knowing that this would make Travis happy. Not that he had wanted to admit it at first, but he had been completely lost without Taylor by his side. It wasn't like when she was away in New York City on a work trip, or travelling the world on tour and he just couldn't be with her for whatever reason it was. She was in Kansas City, mere miles away from him, and yet his bed still felt empty without her in it. It was stone cold and pristine; no signs of life as if she had never even been there. 

"Thats amazing baby, I cannot wait to have you home with me." Travis replied, taking her hand in his. But as he shared a sweet moment with the love of his life, it is interrupted, by a small hand hitting Travis' away from Taylor. They both laughed, looking at Luna who had a scowl on her cute little face at the thought of not being included in their conversation. "Oh and someone else too I guess, huh Lulu."

Taylor looked over at them both, laughing quietly to herself as she watched Travis make funny faces at Luna, making her giggle uncontrollably. This is what she would have missed out on, had she not survived. She was glad she had now, but it took her almost dying to realise that her life was worth living. That there were amazing things in her live, and people. 

"Can.. can I please hold her Trav?" Taylor asked sheepishly, not daring to look him in the eyes. His smile dropped as he looked at her saddened disposition. 

"She is your daughter too Tay, there is no need to ask me." Travis moved Luna about in his arms, passing her slowly over to Taylor. Luna instantly sighed in contentment, placing a small hand on Taylor's cheek as she nestled into her chest. Taylor felt like crying, the feeling of having her little girl back in her arms again was a feeling she would never forget. It felt as if she had been born again, and was being placed on her chest for the first time back in New York all those months ago. She would never believe herself if she had been told back then what she knew now. 

"I missed her so much." Taylor whispered, kissing the top of Luna's head. She pulled at the top of Taylor's tank top and Travis looked over at Taylor.

"Umm yeah, she is probably hungry by now. I did give her a feed earlier but she has been fussy all day. All week actually, this is the calmest I have seen her in a while. I have some formula milk in the bag I can use. There isn't much breastmilk left at home so I am trying to preserve it as much as possible."