Last Saturday

Ch.17

So the next day, Hanni gets discharged on a wheelchair and a cannula still on her nose, everyone insists on helping to push her, but the woman swats their hands every time they try, repeating that she could push the wheels herself. She’s the first one to speed out the hospital
exit, the automatic doors thankfully opening before she could crash into them. Hanni was way too excited, and Minji already gave up on chasing her before they even started walking out the room.
“I’m finally fucking free!” Hanni shouts, not caring about the language at the moment, and cutely smiling at people who turned to glance at her. Everyone behind her laughs.
Hanni's about to push her wheels again but Minji stops her by holding the handles,
“Slow down, love. You look like a hot wheel on a race track. Grumpy chilli.”
“Excuse me?” Hanni's head almost snaps from turning so fast to look at Minji with angry eyes, but she fails, and ends up snorting Minji pushes her wheelchair instead, helping Hanni get up and sit in the Pham's family
van while the others put their stuff at the back. They travel straight to Minji's home,
cleaning and finally setting Hanni's belongings, planning to follow-up the remaining things she left in her family’s home the week after.
Minji felt like it was a new start. Despite knowing the fact that Hanni only had limited time left to live, the sadness frequently gets replaced with relief, knowing that she could spend at least years outside the hospital before possibly going back again. A day before Hanni's discharge from the hospital, Minji and the other members of the family gathered and talked about how they would treat every single day as if it was Hanni's last, wanting her
to live somewhat an enjoyable life with no regrets.
It’s the acceptance that keeps not only Minji, but everyone, going. They’ve gone through
all the stages of grief, and this was technically the last, knowing that they’ll go through it again when she’s actually gone. They needed to make the most out of it. Minji wants to be with Hanni everyday, until her last breath.

And that’s exactly what she does.  

5 MONTHS AFTER HANNI’S DISCHARGE

Minji rubs her eyes open, the lack of warmth on the other side of the bed causing her to
wake up at an unusual hour of the day. Hanni wasn’t next to her, which was confusing. She walks out of their shared bedroom, looking at the wall clock all perplexed.
“4am?” She groans, her eyes scanning the living room but Hanni nowhere to be found.
Minji searches their then-guest room which is now Hanni's art room, but she still isn’t there. She’s one blink from calling her parents until her eyes gaze over the front door, the curtain beside illuminating a silhouette that resembles a person. Minji nears, contemplating on whether to grab a pan from their kitchen just in case it was an intruder, but she doesn’t, thanks to the high-pitched yawn she hears outside. It’s her girlfriend.
“What are you doing out here at such an hour?” Minji stands by the door after she opens it, staring at Hanni, who’s sitting down on the couch in their veranda, seemingly zoned out.
Hanni doesn’t speak, but rather opens her arms in a way of inviting Minji, so she happily follows, reciprocating her embrace and giving her a kiss on a cheek before asking again.
Hanni giggles, kissing her lips instead.
The sky is still dark, stars still twinkling, the only noise being the occasional whoosh of the wind and the crickets still chirping. It’s like a blanket that wraps you in comfort, keeping you cozy. It doesn’t make you drowsy yet it does make your mind go blank. This was something
Minji would usually fancy, but it was odd for someone as energetic as Hanni to do this.
“I think I should make a list of the things I want to do before I die.” She genuinely suggests
it, and a part of Minji feels sad, but she understands.
“ That’s what’s keeping you up at 4am?”
Hanni softly fists her shoulder, “Of course not. It just hasn’t sunken in my mind yet, you know? That I could die any day years later, or be back in the hospital again. I don’t feel fear or anxiety either. I don’t know why.” She links her arm with Minji's, nuzzling her cheek
on her sleeve.
“That probably means you’ve accepted it.” Minji giggles, it was meant to be a joke, but
it was somehow true.
“Maybe…” Hanni hums, then suddenly straightens her posture, “Do you want to go to the convenience store? Buy yogurt with me?”
“I don’t like where this is going.” Minji deadpans, and Hanni laughs.
“Déjà vu, yeah?” She jokingly coughs, causing a soft shove on her face from Minji, but
she holds the hand, playing with her fingers, staring a little too lovingly into her eyes that Minji can’t help but look away, a tint of red growing on her ears.
“I missed those.” Hanni smiles, leaning in.
“What?” Minji looks back to accidentally meet her face, causing Hanni to peck the
corner of her lips instead. Hanni bursts into a fit of giggles.
“I meant to kiss your ears, but this is also nice.” Hanni blushes as well, quickly launching herself into Minji's arms to hide it.
Everyday, it feels like she falls in love with Hanni all over again. The way her heart beats faster, the way her breath seems to get caught in her throat every time she simply holds her hand, it never fades, and Minji loves it. Loves the way Hanni makes her nervously gulp
whenever she’s around even within a meter’s distance away from each other, the way her ears feel warm when Hanni stares into her eyes, the way she sometimes can’t seem to speak when she’s too infatuated with Hanni's presence, Hanni this, Hanni that, she loved knowing that
Hanni never failed to make her feel so, different. It’s like having a high-school crush,
realizing that you’ve fallen in love, but it replays again and again, like it was Hanni purposely replaying those events, and Minji doesn’t, and will never complain.
“So? Are we going to the convenience store?” Hanni waves her hands in front of Minji's sight.
Minji stares at her, and exactly like what was just mentioned, she feels everything again, she feels as if time had slowed and her heart stopped beating and the world also stopped spinning and it’s just the two of them staring into each other’s eyes and the quietness makes it
even more precious and romantic and- Hanni cups her face and kisses her lips, “Are you okay?” She giggles ridiculously when
Minji finally returns to the real world, looking lost.
“You have no idea how insane you make me feel.” Minji exhales as if she’d just ran
through an entire hundred-meter relay.
Hanni raises her eyebrows in concern at the sudden statement, but from the way Minji had been looking way out of her consciousness seconds ago gives her a little idea on what she’s trying to say.
“Is my effect that bad on you?” Hanni strokes her thumbs on her cheeks, finding her adorable.
“Is it bad if I like it?”
Hanni shakes her head in amusement, standing up from the couch and playfully pinching Minji's nose, “You’re sleepy, my love. Let’s just buy yogurt tomorrow.”
Minji mindlessly follows her back into the house, Hanni's hands grabbing her wrist to
her— their— bedroom. She’s about to faint again when she remembers that they actually live together now.
Hanni gets assisted by her girlfriend in putting her cannula back on. Her doctors only required her to wear it to sleep, making it easier for her to walk around without dragging her oxygen tank in a trolley.
They’re lying down, staring at each other in silence, the only noise being their breathing.
Minji's lips bend downwards, holding back her laughter.
“What’s funny?” Hanni chuckles.
Minji ends up cackling, “You breathe so loud. Are you trying to blow my bangs away? They’re itching my face because of you.”
Hanni rolls her eyes, turning on the other side as she huffs in annoyance. Minji whines,
shuffling closer and snaking her arms around Hanni's waist, effectively embracing her from behind. She sniffs her hair, which Minji does two more times, the scent all too familiar to her.
“You’re using my shampoo?” Minji raises her head from the pillow, resting her cheek on Hanni's. She doesn’t answer.
Minji huffs, and she furrows her brows, dipping her head in the crook of Hanni's neck this time, and gosh .
 
“And my body wash too ?” Minji inhales again, she knows her bath products. Hanni can’t help it anymore, Minji's nose keeps poking her neck and it tickles her so much she bursts into a fit of giggles.
“So what if I do? We live together. It saves money! You’re my girlfriend!” Hanni turns to lay on her back, staring back at Minji whose face is inches above her, smiling like a fool.
“No wonder why your side of the shower has all the bottles unopened. It already looks like the bath aisle in the supermarket.” Minji chuckles, pecking Hanni's forehead.
Hanni smiles back, “What day is it today?”
“Friday.” Minji answers, resting her forehead on hers.
“Are you sure? We’ve technically not slept yet.”
“Oh, right.” Minji laughs, it was already early in the morning, she totally forgot. “Then it’s Saturday today. Why ask?” She pushes herself back up again, looking at Hanni, but the girl only glares at her in an expression she can’t quite explain.
“What?” Minji asks again, but Hanni keeps the same face.
She playfully slaps Minji's shoulders, then she wraps her arms around her neck, causing the taller one to lose her balance and drop on top of Hanni, her face perfectly landing in the crook of her girlfriend’s neck.
“Park. Bench. Date. Saturdate- how could you forget all of that!” Hanni tightly hugs
Minji's neck, their laughter getting muffled in each other’s embrace. They shuffle around the bed, tackling each other until Hanni complains about her cannula possibly getting tangled due to their mischievousness.
“I’m so sorry, Hanni.” She mumbles on her collarbones, planting a small kiss. “I’ll pay for ice cream later then, no more rock paper scissors on the way to the park. Sounds good?”
“I’ll think about it.” Hanni jokes, and groans after. “Make it a month.”
“Hey! That’s not- '' Minji tries to protest, lifting herself off Hanni but she only gets
interrupted with a deep kiss, Hanni's hands already tangled in her hair.
And it’s not like Minji was going to pull away, so she stops protesting in the end, kissing her back with fervor. It takes them about an hour before they get exhausted, finally sleeping cuddled tightly against one another. They’ll never get bored of each other.

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