FREE⇡RIDE⇣HOME [Elevator Hitch || COTAG]

I guess tonight will be sleepless

"I don't like going out alone, and most of the time, I'm alone."

My coworker leans in to me, so he can hear me better.

"So... thanks for spending time with me. Even though you're the most annoying person I've ever met." I roll my eyes.

"No problem! I told you I was feeling generous." His smile is extra shiny today. "But, in this state, you'll catch a cold. Take that jacket off. I'll give you mine."

He hands me his own jacket.

I wear it with no complications. I look terrible with this colour combination.

It's still warm from his body heat clinging to the material. It's way too big, yet very comfortable.

"Are you going to freeze to death now?"

"Probably," he titters, "but, for you, I'll manage!"

"Good luck with that."

Once I'm dry, I give him his jacket back. We're approaching our workplace again, where my coworker's car is. He suggests to drive me home again, and I accept.

"Are you fine with me entering your car? I'm covered in river water, after all."

"It's alright! You're dry, anyway." He opens the passenger's door for me.

He's not so bad. Clearly, he's only putting up that arrogant personality at work. I buckle my seatbelt.

"What are your plans tonight?" He asks.

"Eh... I'll probably... tidy up a bit..." I mutter.

"Boooring," he comments. "You don't have any hobbies or interests?"

"I don't." Confessing that makes me so sad.

"I should show you fencing some time," he replies, as he parks his car under my place.

"You do fencing?" I didn't know he had hobbies. I thought his only skill was getting on my nerves.

"Yeah!" He nods. "We're here. You can get out."

Before I exit the car, I think of a recompensation. I yank on his tie, and smooch his cheek, before pulling away and stepping outside. "See you tomorrow!"

My coworker doesn't respond to me, so I close the door and leave swiftly, not waiting for him. What I did, was entirely impulsive.

An old lady stops me on the staircase. It's my other neighbour.

"Hello, boy. You've been spending more time out lately." She smiles at me warmly. She really means it.

"That's... right." I smile back. She's such a precious woman.

"You've always been so down... Your smile is a beautiful sight. Please smile more!" She pinches my cheeks, like a real grandma.

She makes me feel uncomfortable at times, but she's kind hearted otherwise. "Thank you, I will, ma'am."

She passes me and exits. I walk upstairs grumpily. Why do people only ever talk to me, when my coworker is here? Am I not enough by myself?

When I get to my place, I put on something comfortable and do the laundry. As the washing machine spins, I do some chores. I start with vacuuming first. My place is tiny, so that takes the least time.

I stare at the empty sink. I hate doing the dishes, but at least doing them means that I've eaten actual food before. Now it just reminds me of the endless cups of instant ramen.

The fulfilling dinner from last evening left me craving for more.

I dust the counter and some shelves, and hang the now-finished laundry.

I'm exhausted after the least effort. I decide to take a break and grab my flip phone. Should I go to that party on Friday? It seems so bothersome, but the alcohol is good.

I call my coworker. "Screw it," I whisper to myself.

"Hey, pal! Did you forget something?" He answers almost immediately.

"...no, but I'll come to your drinking party, if you want."

"The party was cancelled, so you don't have to come anyway!" His voice seems so cheerful.

"Eh? Why?"

"After last night, I figured that I wouldn't want my colleagues to see you drunk, so I cancelled it."

He sounds like he's doing something else while talking to me, so I wrap up. "That's a weird reason, but sure. Then I'll hang up–"

"H-Hold on!" He stutters. "You can still come on Friday. There just won't be anyone else."

I hesitate. "...Sure. Have a good night."

"Sleep well, pal!" He hangs up before me.

I throw my phone on my bed and collapse on it. Seriously, what's the matter with that guy?

Screw it... I'll just go to bed.

I'm out of sleeping pills.

I guess tonight will be sleepless.

I lie down in bed, not even pulling the covers over myself. Normally, I'd be masturbating right now, but those pills have messed with my libido to the point, that I feel almost no sexual arousal at all.

Some call it asexuality, and others call it erectile dysfunction. Either way, I've had it for a few years non-stop. It's not like I'm having sex, so it doesn't bother me.

Sometimes, I envy happy families with children and a healthy bedroom life. I wish there were someone who I'd want to keep on living for.

Eh, I can't die yet, anyway. Who will pay the debt off, if not me?

I stare at the ceiling and faintly think about things all night long, waiting for the daylight. Even though I can't sleep, lying and doing nothing with my eyes closed for multiple hours at a time does relax my muscles.

The night feels like eternity, but when I go to the bathroom at some point, I finally see the sunshine. Honestly, I wish I didn't.

I get up and have breakfast for once. Well... you can barely call this breakfast, but it's a combination of edibles I found in the unused corners of my kitchen.

I wonder if he's awake.

Who?

He?

My coworker? Why am I thinking about my coworker first thing in the morning?!

Whatever. He pretty much became a part of my life by now.

I count for how many seconds I'm taking a shower, and hastily turn it off after one hundred and twenty. I dry myself and put my freshly washed suit on. It feels so nice to wear clean and fragrant clothes...

I sit down on the floor and stare at my clock. Just a few more minutes before I have to leave...

I sigh. I'm so tired, I feel like collapsing. I'll have to get pills today, otherwise I'll die tomorrow. If my coworker offers me a ride, I'll have to decline...

✂