I knocked on Evelyn's door a while ago, I expected her to at least be back by now. She always went to whatever circumstances it took in order to make other peoples feel safe, that's what made me fall so deeply in love with her. She always valued others before her own needs, and if anybody survived this apocalypse, i'm sure she wouldn't. My beliefs were not because of her strength and survival skills though, they were because she would sacrifice herself for anyone. If somebody close to her died then she wouldn't be able to function properly and she would probably try to join them, although that wouldn't be the first time. Maybe I should go check on Evee. I walked to Evelyn's room since that's the last place I saw her, and there she was, my girlfriend's sister was cuddled up in my girlfriend's hoodie.
It was quite a sweet sight, I went next to her and picked her up, bringing her down the hall to her own bed. I lightly placed her down, being as careful as possible not to wake her up, I stared at her for a few minutes while keeping in my tears. I went back to Evelyn's room and immediately collapsed onto her bed. It had her scent, coconut mixed with blood, the scent was vile but comforting in a way... Evee reminds me of Lyn too much.
Why did she leave? Why didn't she warn me? What if she's hurt? The thoughts filled my head until I couldn't take it anymore, I cried my small heart out until it hurt to breathe, not long after that I blacked out. Evelyn was the only person on my mind, my only love, my best friend, my entire life.
I woke up immediately after I fell asleep, I looked around and realized that I forgot to change my bandages for my eye. It wasn't hurt, I just prefer using bandages to cover the rotting. The rotting was quite unflattering, I've always been insecure about it since it first showed up, but Lyn, she made me feel so much better about it. She showed me true love. I stood up and stared in the mirror, speaking to myself quietly.
"If she's dead, you are too. It's your fault. Evelyn goddamn Winter is not deserving of you. She needs better."
That look in my eyes, it was pure hatred. I reprimanded myself and got louder and louder every time until I just lost the ability to speak anymore. I lifted my hand and hit my head with my wrist, wiping my tears and clenching my fists.
"Suck it up you idiot. Stop acting like a child. Cinderella would laugh seeing you like this. You're a Harper, Harpers don't cry."
I repeated the words until all of my tears were completely gone. My body felt weak and I gave up, I collapsed onto Evelyn's bed, immediately cuddling into the pillow with that oh-so-familiar delicately shaped case. I muttered many words into the pillow that night, I had no sleep and stayed up lecturing myself about having no tears. If my mother saw me right now I would be dead, she always hated women dating women, saying it 'damaged femininity'. She wouldn't accept anything about my feelings and she would hate my outfit.
Im not even sure why I call her my mother anymore, she's just the woman that raised me at the lab. She would have made sure I was disciplined for crying since 'no man wants a childish fool', and that I mustn't think about myself but instead about the men I'm hurting by destroying myself and damaging their masculinity.
I'm meant to be on earth so that I can cook, clean, and please men but having feelings for women or thinking about myself isn't allowed. That's what she would have told me. Lyn would say that everyone is equal, and you can like anybody that you enjoy being around and speaking to.
That girl is incredible, and that's only one of the reasons that I fell in love with her. Once again, she trusted me with her sister. I know I can't protect her forever and I can't promise to keep her sister safe, but I can guarantee that she will never be alone as long as I'm alive. I would do whatever it fucking takes to marry that woman one day, and nobody, not even the daily overwhelming loneliness, can stop me.
that took so fucking long to write. (also I'm not in the right mindset right now so sorry if this sucks)
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The Wonderstrom Forest
FantasyI began writing The Wonderstrom Forest as a way to cope and pass time. Originally, the book was meant for me to put characters that were based off of me into situations that i've either been in or have almost been in. Eventually, I found a comfort i...
