Loved You First

I thought it was a dream

I sat near the cold windowsill, watching snow gently cascade onto the world, covering it in white dust while I was waiting for Louis to come over. He told me he had some news. I don't know what kind of news had to wait for a face to face meeting but I wasn't complaining. I saw Louis less and less now because of his girlfriend and touring.

There was a knock on my front door and through the small glass window I could see Louis' figure.

I ran from the window to the door. I excitedly opened it to Louis covered in small specks of snowflakes. He smiled and moved inside, the delicate snowflakes melting quickly.

He shrugged off his coat and tossed it on the couch, holding open his arms. I grinned, falling into his tight grip. He enveloped me in a hug, I nuzzled my head into his chest and sighed. It's been too long.

He released me and stared at me with a smile plastered on his face.

"Guess what?" He finally spoke. I missed his voice in person so much. We haven't hung out in about a month which is like a year for me when I don't see Louis.

"What?" I couldn't help but smile. I was happy to see him. The presence of him made me so happy I honestly couldn't explain it.

"You're suppose to guess." He crossed his arms across his chest. He pouted his lip like a child and stood there staring at me until I guessed.

I let out a laugh at how ridiculous this was but I guessed, "One Direction is adding another tour already!"

He smiled, "Actually we haven't decided yet. But even better!"

You broke up with your girlfriend, I thought, and you finally know you love me?

"I'm out of guesses."

"Eleanor and I are getting married!"

My jaw dropped and I took a step back, tripping over a shoe then I blacked out.

*~*

"Karmantha?" Someone whispered. I groaned. My name it was so weird and unique. I have no idea why my mother chose it. (My friend chose the name. Don't ask me why....)

In elementary school people thought it was a weird name but they liked it for some reason. Middle school they just shrugged it off but thought it was so unique that I stood from all the Kim's and Kelly's. I guess that's a plus.

"Karmantha?" The voice nudged me again. It hurt so much. That nudge to the shoulder.

"Who is it?" I opened my eyes and Louis hovered over me. I could feel his breath on my nose.

"Oh my gosh! Thank goodness you're all right." He stood up, helping me up too.

He helped me lay on the long couch. He stood next to me, smoothing my hair out of my face.

"Do you know what happened?" His blue eyes sparkled with concern. I always loved his blue eyes. They were greyish blue and always electrified with life. But I liked my hazel eyes.

"I fell on a shoe." I laughed but I had a huge headache making me wince.

"Anything else?" He asked me.

"Well I had this crazy dream..." I trailed off. I didn't know if I wanted to tell him about it. It was so absurd. Plus it hurt me so much.

"Tell me." He leaned down on his knees, his face near mine.

"You told me," I sighed, "You told me that you were getting married to Eleanor."

He smiled weakly, "We are."

My jaw dropped again expect this time I couldn't fall. I didn't know whether to cheer or not. This seemed like a nightmare.

"I thought it was just a dream."

He shook his head. Then he stood up.

"Kar do you need anything?" Louis asked as if he never said he was getting married.

"Migraine pill please." I nodded.

He nodded his head and took one out of the medicine cabinet, walking it over to me. I took it dry and felt really tired.

"Louis." I said, my eyes drooping but I fought it off.

"Yeah?"

"I'm tired. Can you take me to bed?"

He tried to hide his smile but he couldn't. He wrapped his arms around me, carrying me to my bed.

I felt like I was in seventh grade all over again when I broke my ankle during gym. Louis had to carry me to the nurse. It was an eventful day.

My hands fit perfectly around his neck, his arms tucked tightly under my knees. We walked into my dark purple room, bright with the light. I closed my eyes as Louis laid me down. I sunk deep into the mattress, rolled up in the comforter.

"I'm going go now." Louis whispered. I wanted him to bend over and kiss me check for the last time because I knew he wouldn't after he was married.

"Stay." I whispered back, my eyes still shut.

"I can't." He sighed, turning off the light.

"Please? One last time." I pleaded. This one last time I wanted him to stay with me.

He sighed then I felt him lay next to me. I lifted the blanket for him to move under it. He moved closer to me, heat radiated off of him. I felt colder in my yoga pants and tank top.

I kept my eyes closed, wishing that this whole day would be a dream.