Loved You First

Wait! I have to say something!

I've stayed in Boston three weeks now. I've done absolutely everything to keep my mind off Louis. I've visited my grandmother, my aunts and uncles along with my cousins, I've gone to work with both my parents but ended up just bugging the whole times, and I've stayed in the house all day with Spot. None of this has worked.

Louis' wedding is in a week. I'll be here and I'm 99.9% sure of that. That .1% is what is worrying me. That .1% telling me to follow my heart and not my brain. I guess we'll find out about that .1% soon.

I sat down on the couch with my popcorn thinking about this. Soon Spot came and joined me then my dad who had caught the popcorn scent.

"Hey honey." He took a seat next to me, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"Mine!" I joked as I pulled the bowl away.

He laughed, stuffing his face with more popcorn. We sat watching the news until I switched a movie on.

"Again?" He asked as I turned The Vow on. I didn't love this movie but it what had inspired me to come home for awhile. I wanted to make sure I made the right choice.

"Dad do you think I made the right choice?" I asked suddenly. I needed someone to tell me I made the right choice; Some outlook would be nice.

"Well that's up to you." He answered.

I groaned, "That doesn't help me.."

"It's all up to you." He said again, kissing my forehead and heading back into his room.

It's all up to me..

I pondered on this for awhile. Was it all up to me?

*~*

It's been another week since I was told it was all up to me. I thought about it for the whole week. It was up to me. All of it or none of it. It was up to me.

Today is also Louis' wedding day. It starts in about six hours according to the news. I can't believe they're reporting it. I really can't believe I'm watching it while sitting my pajamas.

My phone started ringing as they began to talk about who was going to be there.

"Helllooo." I answered.

"Karm, Louis is looking for you." Lisa said frantically.

"What?!" I stood up, the blankets around me falling off.

"Louis he came to your apartment to see you and then he didn't find and came down to my apartment and asked where you were. I told him you were in Boston and he said oh. Then he ran off to his car; he looked sad too. Karm he really misses you. I know he does." She said all in one breathe.

"Lisa.. I.. I'm in Boston! Nothing he can do now!" I said bewildered. He came looking for me on his wedding day. His. Wedding. Day.

"Karm it's a what? Four hour flight or something? Come back! Tell him your feelings before its too late!" Before it's too late. Too late to see him again. Too late because he's going to marry someone else. I thought it was already too late but maybe not.

"Lisa let me." I sighed. "Let me think right now."

"Call me if you need me. I've got to go. Work." She said hanging up. She left me to think about everything.

"Hey Karm." My dad came into the room snapping his fingers to no particular rhythm.

"Dad you know how you said it's all up to me?" I asked following him into the kitchen.

"Yup why?" He peeled a banana.

"Well what if its up to my heart and my brain. Who wins that fight?" I asked.