Loved You First

Im going back to Boston

It's been another two weeks since I haven't talked to Louis. Two weeks since I lost my best friend. It's been the longest two weeks in my life.

This means it's now July. One month until the wedding. The wedding I'm not going to. The wedding I'm not going to crash anymore. Why would I now? I lost him. He wasn't even going to say anything to me after I claimed my love. Maybe my love left when I lost him.

And today was my day off. I have decided to watch movies all day. It's my usual thing. What else would I do anyways? I don't want to shop because I have enough clothes. I don't want to go out because you only get hurt. I don't want to do anything because of fear of being hurt and having people leave.

Lisa might come over too. She's been seeing me more often because I lost Louis. I think she feels the need to replace him. She doesn't have to but I appreciate that she's trying.

"Karm! I'm here!" Lisa entered dramatically.

I laughed at her, tightening my blankets around me, "Hey."

"How are you?" She asked quietly, taking a seat next to me.

"I don't know." I answered, watching the advertisement for a new movie on the screen.

She sighed, turning to the tv. We watched The Lucky One for a while then put in The Vow. We watched as the girl decided to go home because she didn't know her feelings about this guy that she had loved before the accident.

Then I came up with this brilliant idea. I'm going back to Boston.

"Lisa! I have an amazing plan!" I screamed, jumping up from my seat.

"Karm! What are you doing?" She asked, tearing her eyes off the screen.

"I'm going back to Boston for a while!" I shouted while cramming clothes into my giant suitcase.

"What?" Lisa came barging into my room.

"I'm. Going. Back. To. Boston." I said slowly while walking into the bathroom and threw all my belongs that I needed to go.

"For how long?" She asked quietly while sitting on my bed. She looked like I had told her that I didn't like her anymore.

"As long as I need to think." I sighed.

"How long is that?" She asked again.

"Until after Louis' wedding." I said quietly.

She nodded and stood up to hug me. We hugged for a while. The hug said our goodbyes and our hellos again. It said about how sad we were that I was leaving. The one hug said a lot.

*~*

"Flight 252 to Boston is now boarding." A voice boomed through the speakers.

That was my plane. I grabbed my bag and headed to the entrance of the plane. Spot had been put in the cargo with the bags. I was taking my dog with me no matter what.

I handed the lady my ticket and headed onto the plane. Maybe it was the adrenaline. Maybe it was loosing Louis. Maybe it was that I hadn't been to Boston in years. Maybe it was because I was done with everything. Maybe it was because I didn't know what to do anymore. But all those maybes made me get onto that plane and fly back home.

*~*

"Karm! We missed you!" My mom greeted me at the airport.

"I missed you guys too!" I answered. I truly had. It's only been maybe two months or so. I can't even remember but I missed them.

"Let's go back to our apartment." My dad grabbed my luggage and I grabbed Spot, walking with them to their car.

*~*

"And were here!" My dad said opening the door.

Their apartment was nice and small. It was just what they needed. It was baby blue and white in the living room. The kitchen was a bright yellow. Every other room was beige. Nice, small, and quiet.

"I'm going to bed. I had work all day! Love you two!" My mom waved and headed into her room.

I sat down on the couch, looking at the tv mounted above a fireplace. My dad took a seat next to me.

"So why are you here?" He asked as soon as he knew my mother had fallen asleep.

I looked at him blankly. Was I suppose to lie? Tell him that I truly missed them? Tell him that London was just becoming too much?

"Louis and I had gotten into this fight about how he always has to leave whenever he's with me. I was just done.." I explained.

"At that moment or are you still done?" He asked with a few wrinkles forming at the top of his head.

"At the moment." I whispered. Now I would do anything to hear him speak, for him to say my name one last time.

"It's alright sweetie." I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I needed to get that out and I finally had. Now I was glad to be in Boston with everyone.