Chapter 26
Obvious
"And also a picture of the sunset... with you,"
He looked so shocked when he heard what I said. Nakaawang ang kan'yang labi at nang mapansin na roon ako nakatingin, tinikom niya iyon. Pinigilan kong matawa sa reaksyon niya.
"Sana lang ay hindi na ito tungkol sa nangyari noong nakalipas na anim na buwan." bulong niya, ang boses niya ay mariin pero kalmado.
Ako naman ang nagulat. Napalunok ako at hindi agad nakasagot. We looked at each other and I didn't avoid his gaze. Dahil yata sa seryoso siya sa sinabi niya, nakaya niyang lumaban ng titigan.
"That was six months ago, Ellis." tanging nasabi ko na para bang iyon ang dapat niyang paniwalaan.
Nag iwas siya ng tingin at tumango. I didn't miss the fear in his eyes that gave me a strange feeling.
"Matagal na nga kaya alam kong nakalimot ka na. Ayoko ng maulit ulit ang sinabi mo sa akin kahit kailan. Naging mabuti tayong mag kakilala, at kung gusto mong ibalik iyon kaya ka nag papakita ngayon, pigilan mo 'yang sarili mo." mariin niyang sabi.
I could almost taste the bitterness in my mouth. Tiningnan ko ang aking likod at nakitang wala naman akong kasunod kaya ayos lang na mag tagal pa rito.
"It has been a long time, Ellis. If it's been a while then why don't you forget it too? I'm over it. And you're right because all I need is a girl-"
"Kung ganoon bakit ka narito ngayon? Bakit nag papakita ka pa rin sa akin?" halos mabasag ang kan'yang tinig.
"I told you it's because of Rila. She wants to be with you." marahan kong sabi.
"Talaga lang, huh? Dahil din ba sa kapatid mo kung bakit ka narito ng tatlong araw? At huwag mong sasabihin sa akin na aksindente ka lang na napapadaan dito. Hindi aksidente ang sinasadya." Matapang siyang tumingin sa mata ko.
He didn't care about my feelings. He didn't have the mercy to tell me to my face that I don't have the right to move on. And because of my desire to save myself, I spoke.
"Do you think I can't forget, huh? This isn't the first time I've liked someone and got rejected. It's happened many times, so what you did isn't a big deal." kalmado ko pang sabi kahit na gustong-gusto ko nang sumigaw dahil sa nararamdaman.
Tangina, awang awa na ako sa sarili ko dahil sa pinag gagawa ko. He caught me visiting here and the first thing he thought, I still like him.
Yes, I still like him but I want to keep it to myself. I don't want to tell him or anyone else. I won't confess to him about my feelings again. Not because I don't want to be rejected, but because he won't love me back.
He did it to me the first time. And I feel like now, even though I haven't confessed yet, I'm already rejected.
Parang ang hirap mag kagusto sa kanya. 'Yung tipong gusto-gusto mong mahalin pabalik, pero para kayong melody sa kanta na hindi tugma kaya hindi na lang gagawin.
"Pero ito ang unang beses na nag kagusto ka sa... sa lalake," he whispered the last line like it's a big sin if anyone else heard it.
Matalim akong tumingin.
"Yes, and you're the first guy I've liked. And I didn't know that it hurts so much to like the same sex. Sana nga hindi ko na lang tinorelate ang nararamdaman ko kasi mismong ikaw, hindi ako kayang suklian." I could almost hear the pain in my own voice.
I looked up to catch my breath because I was having a hard time breathing.
"I wish I had just believed you that I should have liked a girl. I have a lot of regrets before I liked you, Ellis." I whispered.
BINABASA MO ANG
Star-Crossed Melodies (Echoes #1)
Romance"We can't be for some reason, like a star-crossed melody, difficult to harmonize but can be crafted into a story."
