...

i see my reflection in that deep mirror and as i gaze into my lifeless eyes, i wish for nothing but a different me.

that uneasiness and the dissatisfaction while im comparing myself to everyone around me, does nothing but makes me wish i wasnt who i am even though my identity revolves around this face, the one i see in the mirror; those eyes, the ones that stare at me wishing for nothing but self destruction; that smile that is so hollow that i can only feel utterly disgusted by the creases around my lips when it occurs and lastly, that little mole on the left side of my lips, which rather than being a so called 'beauty mark', has no significance which undoubtedly reminds me of my own existence.

i know, that feeling like this is just a mere trap resulting in self hatred but i can't help falling into it.

i can't help devouring my own mental peace, as these insecurities hover over my foolish sense of mind and make me feel like dying, like i don't deserve existing and i must rather just suffocate myself and feel all the pain right in my heart, so that i get a lesson of being such an awful persona.

and i promise, i don't wish to seek help, i love seeing myself in pain, i love torturing myself to the extent i will try to kill myself, i will try to finish everything, not because im some psycho, rather i like to call myself a psychotic peace of art that could do so much but chooses to drive itself insane just to cope up with the things it can simply ignore.