I'm Sorry, Mom

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Waking up, my mind chases after my thoughts, and I don't feel ready. It seemed they were waiting for me to wake up to begin predicting the day's outcome. Looking at the blinds and seeing the small light peaking through the dark curtains reflected what today feels like. Feeling hopeful and optimistic, I'll try, but I need to be more confident.

I reach for my phone on the nightstand and search for my lawyer's contact. Checking the time, I send a text instead of a phone call.

Fantasia: Hey, I'll be by the office around 1:00 pm this afternoon.

I checked the battery percentage before returning the phone, realizing I had not placed it on the charger last night. I plug it in and sit up. Putting on my slippers, I walk to the lounge chaise in the room and grab my robe.

I'm remembering my conversation with Taraji about joining me today. I walk back over to my phone and text Taraji.

Fantasia: Hey baby, I'm heading to the lawyer's office around 1:00 pm today. Are you still joining me?

Before I could set my phone back down, I got a FaceTime call and sat on the bed.

Taraji: Good morning, baby. I missed you last night. How did you sleep?

The view of her becomes a view of the room as she props up her phone on the nightstand, giving me a view of her half-covered body; I'm teased by the leg she has sticking out. The thoughts that occupied my head earlier are now replaced with her.

Fantasia: Good morning, baby. I missed you too. How come you didn't stay the night with me?

She purses her lips together and releases them, making a faint audible sound before responding.

Taraji: Marcell texted me the other day saying he wanted to come by to talk this weekend. He never gave me a date or time. I decided to be here and see if he showed up.

I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to disguise the frown. I hear her speak again.

Taraji: Aht aht, fix that frown, missy. I see it, and you can't hide it. I'm still coming.

Fantasia: How can you tell I was frowning? I thought I covered it well. I say with furrowed brows.

Taraji: You tried it, girl. I know you.

I hear her sweet laughter through the phone and smile in response.

Fantasia: I'm going to head downstairs to make some breakfast.

Taraji: Take me with you.

I unplug the charger from the wall and bring it to the kitchen. I prop it on the counter before plugging it in. I opened the fridge and grabbed some fruits. Walking over to the pantry, I open it, looking for grits. As I looked for ingredients, I made some shrimp and grits. I hear Taraji say something as I close the pantry door.

Fantasia: Say that again, baby, I missed it.

Taraji: What are you making?

She starts shuffling in the bed, reaching to pick up the phone. I stop in my tracks, place everything in my hand on the counter, and stare at the phone. As if she knew I was watching, she props up her phone in the bathroom, showing her nude body—a puddle forms in my mouth.

Fantasia: Let me enjoy the view first.

I lean on the counter, keeping my eyes glued to the screen. She sensually walks over to the shower and turns it on. Her movements in front of the camera are intentional and teasing. She bends over to grab something from under the sink, showing me the curve in her spine. Getting up, she leans her top half across the counter, making eye contact with me. My eyes are focused elsewhere.

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