21: Trauma

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Kaveh wanted to tell Alhaitham's grandmother that he was transgender, which explained why he had his period. 
But that moment, he was so shocked, that not a single word would come out of his mouth.

That moment, Kaveh saw Alhaitham stand behind his grandmother.
„ Gran, what are you doing?", Alhaitham asked, „ Kaveh is using this bathroom cuz our bathroom smells bad. You can just wait your turn."

„ Alhaitham, why did you lie to me and your mom?", Alhaitham's grandma asked.

Alhaitham was confused.
„ I don't know what you're talking about. I never would lie to both of you.", Alhaitham said as he stared at her.

„ Kaveh is your girlfriend! Why did you like that she's a guy?", Alhaitham's grandma said.

Alhaitham's eyes opened widely.

It suddenly hit Alhaitham that she had seem Kaveh's private parts, and more likely, him with pads on as he had his period.
Alhaitham looked over at Kaveh, whose pants were pulled up by now. His eyes were teary, and he looked terrified. Alhaitham could tell he was extremely uncomfortable.

Alhaitham took a deep breath.
„ Grandma, it's extremely rude to stare at someone while they're using the bathroom.", Alhaitham growled, „ Kaveh will be finished soon. In the meantime, watch TV or something."

He wanted to tell his grandma that his boyfriend was trans, but maybe Kaveh didn't want to feel outed. It anyway wasn't Alhaitham's business to tell.

„ Alright, fine.", she growled as she started walking off.

Alhaitham ran over to Kaveh.
„ Gosh Kaveh, I'm so sorry.", Alhaitham apologized, „ I should have escorted you to the bathroom and stayed there. I'm so sorry."

Kaveh didn't answer. He ran out of the bathroom as fast as he could and ran upstairs.
Alhaitham ran after him.

He found Kaveh lying on the bed and crying his eyes out.
„ Kaveh, talk to me.", Alhaitham said as he rubbed his boyfriend's back, „ Only if you want to. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. But just know, I'm your boyfriend and I am on your side, and always there for you."

Kaveh looked up at his boyfriend. It hurt Alhaitham see how upset Kaveh looked. He had never seen Kaveh look that upset.
„ Alhaitham, it hurts so much to be misgendered.", he cried, „ Why did I have to be born a girl?"

He cried even louder.
Alhaitham pulled him towards him and hugged him tightly.

„ Kaveh, since the day I met you, which was in middle school, I never once thought you were a girl. You've always been a boy to me.", he said, „ And don't listen to my grandmother. Just between you and me, she is very dense and probably doesn't even know that transgender exists."

Kaveh sighed as he wiped away his tears.
„ Before we met in middle school, I went to a different school.", Kaveh said, „ And being the only transgender kid in school was terrifying for me. It's probably the reason I get so emotional and traumatized anytime someone sees me as a girl."

Kaveh told his boyfriend the story.
Kaveh's mom left him behind to live in Fontaine when he was very young. Ever since then, he lived with nannies his mom hired to look after him.

Shortly after his mother left, he officially came out as transgender. He always knew from a young age that he wasn't a girl. He never liked wearing dresses, or playing with "stereotypical girls toys".

Back then, Kaveh went to a different school. He had quite many friends, who became friends with him back when he still identified as a girl, and went by his deadname. Once Kaveh came out, his nanny was supportive and bought him "boys clothes" and let him cut his hair short. He then changed his name to Kaveh.

Once he showed up as school, no longer identifying as a girl, everyone stared at him in a horrible way, as if there was something wrong with him.

Even his friends.

„ What happened to you, *deadname*?", one of Kaveh's friends asked.
„ I'm no longer a girl now.", Kaveh said smiling, „ I now go by Kaveh."

Everyone immediately started to laugh. Some kids walked over to him and hit him.
„ You should go to hell, *t slur*!", one of his friends yelled as they aggressively pushed him to the floor.

By the next day, the whole school knew about Kaveh being transgender. Even students who Kaveh had never spoken to before bullied him, verbally and physically.

The bullying got so bad, that Kaveh had to move schools.

„ And that's when I moved to the same school as you.", Kaveh cried, „ No one knew me there. And no one knew I was once a girl. I felt so happy that people liked me...but I always wondered how they would have reacted if they knew I was once a girl."

Kaveh broke into tears. Alhaitham hugged him tightly.
„ Kaveh, you are a man.", he said as he held Kaveh's face closer to him, „ Even if you weren't born a man, it doesn't make you a girl. You are a man, Kaveh."

Alhaitham leaned in and kissed Kaveh's lips.

Little did they both know that Alhaitham's mom was standing outside their bedroom.

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