They realize - Outsders SMP - Reunion Arc - Completed

~20~ Visiting?

TW: mentions of suicide, ideation, attempts (one successful).

A/n: I didn't think this was going to be a reoccurring theme in my story, hence the summary, but it is important to the story that I include it. It is just this chapter, so if that's triggering to you, you can skip to the next one. There will be a summary in the comments, and as always, take care of yourselves <3

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Apo shoved his fishing rod into his backpack, looking around for anything else to take. He was sitting in Guts' old house. Apo had a feeling Red wasn't returning anytime soon.

They had food, clothes, the fishing rod... and a few other things. Things they didn't want to think about. Things from people Apo couldn't handle the idea of. Not when they were so close to leaving.

And weapons.

He couldn't kill another person. He was sure of that. He had been sure of that since...

Fire. Death.

Rage.

Fear.

Blood.

"Breathe, breathe." Someone put a hand on Apo's shoulder, squeezing gently. That person kneeled next to him, and Apo turned to face them.

It was Magic.

He jumped backwards.

"I- Magic- I'm so sorry, I didn't even talk to you, you probably saved me back there, despite.... everything..." Apo trailed off, picking at his nails. The naturally sharpened and pointed cartilage had been broken and picked down to the point there was barely any nail left.

Magic sighed. "I'm not sure if I can ever forget that, but I can at least understand. Someone was bound to pull the lever eventually, and that burden fell on you. Whoever put us in here is to blame more than anything. And I'm sorry. For everything thats happened to you since then. If I can find it in me to belive and forgive Beks, I should be treating you the same way." She smiled softly.

"Besides, I'm glad you kept your promise. You're here and safe. That’s all that matters"

Magic pursed her lips, struggling to find the right words for what she wanted to say next.

"I actually came here to ask you something else."

Apo rubbed their fingers against his horn stubs. The unnatural feeling mixed with the ghost of pain that grew if he put pressure on the spot was oddly comforting. It reminded them of themself, and put sensation to the emotions he had been feeling.

Apo wondered if they knew what Magic was going to ask. He decided not to think on it too much.

Magic gathered her thoughts.

"I was going to visit Owen just before we left, but i learned from Red you hadn't properly visited. I was wondering if you wanted to be the last person to see him, or if you even wanted to see him, before we went."

Magic practically whispered, but her words rung through both their ears.

Owen. Why, why was everyone thinking about him at a time like this?

They were finally leaving the maze. For all Apo cared, there was nobody in prison. Owen was dead to him.

And yet he had tried to see him. Magic was right of course, Apo hadn't seen or visited Owen since his injury. They weren't sure anyone had.

Until a few hours ago.

                                 ◇

"Aren't you going to pack?"