(February 26th,2024)
Simplistic like arsenic
the way we both were forced to be locked in our heads
Mine just more metaphorically
Loving you was hard when we dealt with such deep wounded blame games
It was our safety net
Never caring about how bloody the other would get
We both choked down abuse
while the outside saw them as normal
and us as aliens chocking on our own spit
I think that's the reason we both have moments we can't get ourselves to speak
As our voice alone never belonged to us
We spoke in
Whispers the only time they'd care to hear us
Just to get physically and mentally beat up for it
Our childhoods were poison
I forget sometimes that we were born into pain and adopted into it too
The older I get
The more I hate how we fought
how much we beat each other up
Our apologies always formed the quickest out of our mouths
Sometimes they were the only words we were allowed to be spoken out
I'm sorry if I ever silenced you too
It was such an awful thing I was raised to do
I wanted to get you something for your birthday
But I know how deeply their lies have spread
My brother you don't have the keen eye like me
And I hate leaving you there
But I could no longer let my life be mistakes they've lead
The cycles of sorry that still twist from your tongue and dangle around in your head
I hate how you have to say them all now
Everytime I look at pictures of us
I apologize
In hopes little you at least can hear me
Sometimes I wonder if taking their lashes
Will help release some of yours
Plus I miss you so bad
My heart has never been this sore before
I can't grieve you
Because you've done nothing wrong
I can't grieve you
Because freeing myself from them
Never should have included you
On days I miss you until the setting sun
Which gathers more time in the dark
I find myself hating my younger self
Because I'd do anything just to hear everything
They have quieted down
I'm sorry we both are so intertwined into my decision to cut off the dead branches in my tree
I forgot you were the fucking leaves
Fuck I miss you
Lil' G
YOU ARE READING
Your Struggles is What Creates Your Depth
PoetryA collection of poetry,and random thoughts written when I was struggling to find my way.
