The Fling (N.H.)

Chapter 5 - Ana

Song Recommendation:
Two Ghosts by Harry Styles

I thought I was over him.

There were sleepless nights when I imagined what it would be like running into him again. At first, there was this voice in my head telling me, I can never pass him without breaking down. I wanted to prove that voice wrong, so with time, I prepared myself. I buried all those memories and feelings inside me, and learned to adapt with my new life. The new Ana. Lia's mother.

I thought I was ready but seeing him standing right in front of me, stilled every single molecule in my body. He was close to me, yet so far away. I was trying to remember how it felt to have a heartbeat. My years of hard work failed bringing back all those memories and feelings. As sweet as it may sound, it also brought back the pain and suffering I went through because of him.

It hurts more now than it ever did.

Amelia finally manages to open the door and she entered in, without sparing a glance behind her. When Niall heard the click of the door, he finally tore his gaze from me and glanced back to the door. I took the opportunity to run. That's all I've ever done. Running from my problems.

I quickly grabbed Harry's elbow and literally dragged him down the hallway. I could still feel the burning sensation at the back of my head due to his piercing eyes. I refused to turn around and look at them. I know, if I did so, I will break. That is the last thing I want to happen. Already, with the emotions rushing through me, I am not sure, I can handle a breakdown. That too, in front of him. As we turn the corner, I give in to my temptations and turn around, but this time, I feel disappointed. I regretted ever doing that.

He wasn't there anymore.

As we make our way to the beach, I feel Harry's arms on my back. His warmth radiating through his large palm, in a comforting way. This is not the first time Harry is comforting me. But this time, it felt different. There was a change in the way he looked at me, talked to me and touched me. It feels strange, to start with. I really wish I am the only person who feels this way. Hope he doesn't pick up on the tension because the last thing I want is an awkward conversation.

As we approached the beach, I saw a bonfire around which lounging chairs were placed. The more closer I got, a wide smile automatically took over my face at the person in front of me. Zayn opened his arms and I ran to him, launching myself is his arms tightly. He squeezed me back. He's a very good friend of mine. At first, he seemed all mysterious and quiet, but it's because of him, I have some dignity in life. It was him who shook me awake from the dream Niall put me in. It was him who opened the plaster I put around my eyes, pretending it was all sunflowers and candies.

He's my saviour.

"How are you little peach?" Being younger than him, he always loved to call me that.

"I'm great. So where's the bride?" I asked him for which he cheekily smiled looking at the other side of the bonfire. He was engaged with Gigi.

After some catching up, he walked toward Gigi and I sat down on one of the chairs. Harry was quick to sit on the chair beside mine.

"Want a drink?" He motioned his champagne forward.

"No, I'm good." I smiled. He smiled back, knowingly nodding his head. Then he started talking to me about something, but my mind went off to a particular memory, I've kept inside me.

"Ana, why are you acting like this! ?" Niall raised his voice, rubbing his temple frustratedly. I couldn't help but hold back my tears.

Last night, when Niall was drunk and I went to pick him up from the bar, Zayn told me some things which I am yet not ready to accept. He said, Niall is just using me to get back with Amelia.

"He's playing with your heart Peach, when will you get that through your head!" His words from yesterday were running wild in my head.

Somehow, Niall noticed the change in me and now he's angry.

"Will you fucking answer me?" He said through gritted teeth, trying to calm himself down.

"I just feel like you're using me." The words left my mouth merely as a whisper.

"What do you mean?" The sudden change in his voice almost made me happy. I almost jumped in happiness that Zayn was wrong, but the look on his face didn't give me the chance. I can read him like a book. I can say when he feels guilty. And right now, he does.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued, "You don't acknowledge me. You always come here for Sex. Once, you've got what you want you leave." Please tell me I'm wrong, Please. "I always have to come behind you, pick you up from unknown places. You always come down here when you need comfort." Correct me, Niall! Tell me I'm wrong. "Do you have any idea how that makes me look like?"

A Fling, my mind taunted.

As soon as I put forth that question. He stepped in front of me and held my chin, tilting my head up to look him into his eyes.

"I didn't know you felt like that." Was all he said. He didn't correct me, though. He didn't say I was wrong. That can only mean one thing.

You are just a Fling to him.

That was the day I realised Niall was never mine to start with. Even though our relationship lasted more couple of months, he couldn't bring it in himself to look at me the way I looked at him.

My thoughts come to a pause when I felt someone occupy the chair next to me. It's Him. We both lock eyes before I turned my gaze towards Harry. He handed me a Soda Can but I shook my head. He wolfishly grinned and handed me the earlier glass of champagne. I took it from him and sipped from the glass. The liquid burned through my throat.

"I thought, you didn't like Alcohol."  I recognised the voice which came from my right. When I turned my head, I saw that his eyes were bloodshot. He had a drink in his hand already.

Is he drinking a lot again? But, why would he?
He got what he wanted after all that he did to get it.

I avoided all the thoughts of concern and turned my gaze to the bonfire in front of me.

"People, change. So as their choices. We're not who we used to be." with that, I finished my drink and bid my goodbye from everyone. I can't wait to crash down. This day, did take a toll on me.