Song Recommendation:
Back To You by Selena Gomez
"Are you sure?" I nod my head in assurance for the hundredth time as Jenna gives me a worried look.
Today is Niall's wedding and all of us have been invited. Since Niall and Amelia think that I'm in Singapore, they wouldn't expect me to go. But, the others also don't wanna go now. I had to convince Harry that I will be okay for 3 hours straight. Now, Jenna's throwing the tantrums.
"See, I can always stay back and have a tub of ice-cream with you. We can watch TV-"
"You think I really care because he's getting married or something." I say irritatingly because of this constant behaviour of others. They treat me like I'm a fragile object and I could break with the slightest touch of air. I mean, I'm not going to sit and cry just because he'll be married.
Well, that's what you're gonna do the moment everyone leaves and you're left alone.
I walk over to Jenna, setting up her nicely done hair. "Louis is waiting downstairs. Go, I'll be fine." Lie. She nodded at my reassuring tone and gave me a hug. When the door closed, a huge sigh left my mouth.
In 5 hours, he will be someone's forever. I know I was the one who told him to move on and marry Amelia, but something in my heart didn't sit right at my words.
Why didn't he come back? Why didn't he force himself on our lives? When I said I don't want him in my life, why did he listen? Why didn't he argue with me? Why didn't he make me change my mind?
Why do I have to love him so much that it physically hurts to see him with someone else?
I know my mind is messed up to have these thoughts. But, what can I do? He's been occupying my thoughts ever since I've moved here back. This city is filled with memories and they aren't helping me even in the slightest bit. I remember how my mind turned off when I received the invitation via email. I couldn't process anything for the next couple of hours. I was totally shut off.
Why does he affect my life so much?
He's that tornado that flipped my world entirely. He came in and erased everything, that now I am only the remnant of the person I once used to be. The damage he did to me is so deep, that I have lost the ability to recover.
But it's funny how my heart will take him back in a heartbeat. I know, he's a total red flag, but I never said I don't like Red. He's my favourite shade of red. That's how Love works. It is a stupid disease that messes up the judgment of a person. No matter how much you try to run away from it, you always end up trapped in its web.
I think I'm going to need to busy myself before I end up doing something, I'll regret. Now that Lia's asleep, my mind is wandering off to things, it shouldn't. Hence, I'm going to clean the house until she wakes up and maybe we both can go to the park after that.
**************************
After I'm done with the kitchen, I make my way to the living room. Lia's toys have been scattered around but it's not Lia's fault. Harry and Louis were the ones who ended up playing with them. Lia doesn't like to mess up the place by throwing her toys everywhere. I don't know how she developed that habit but it has helped me a lot. Maybe I should thank Niall for it.
Damn, I need to stop thinking about him. No matter how much I've tried to distract myself from his thoughts, I end up coming to his topic. It's a never ending circle.
"Ughhh" I groan and threw away the rag I've been using for dusting. My head has been hurting like a bitch. Right when I sit on the couch, my phone goes off and without looking at the caller ID, I answer it. I really need to distract myself.
"Hello?" My voice comes out all frustratingly and I can't put my finger on why I am frustrated. I lean my head backwards waiting for the other person to speak. A few moments pass and no one answers, so I detach my phone from my ear to look at the name.
My whole body goes rigid at the person who called me. I quickly sit up and speak into the phone in a much smaller voice that it comes out merely as whisper. "Niall?"
I heard him clearing his throat as my heartbeat increased.
"Ana." He whispered. His voice cracked from the way my name rolled of his mouth. I was speechless as tears pooled my eyes at the sound of his voice.
"Just say the word, Ana." A single tear drops down as I try not to make a sound. "I will throw all of this and I'd go back to you. I want you to say it." His voice cracked at each words and a huge lump started forming in my throat.
"What do you want me to say?" My voice comes out all breathy as I keep myself from sobbing.
"That you want me back." He replied, desperately.
How do I tell him that's what I want! It is on the tip of my tongue but something is stopping me. Maybe the fear of losing him again? Once, my heart was able to heal but again, I don't think I can take it. Also, what about Amelia? She's been with him for over 6 years now. It wouldn't be fair to her if he chose me over her. I was just a fling, after all.
"I can't Niall." I couldn't hold it anymore as a sob left my mouth. "I'm sorry." As soon as the words left my mouth, I cut the call sobbing heavily. My already shattered heart has been shattered more now that I broke his heart as well.
*********************
"I thought Uncle Harry is coming." Lia pouted as I buckled her in her car seat. Lia woke up minutes after my phone call with Niall. To distract my mind from it, I decided to get out of the house.
"He's busy, so it's just you and me." I smiled lightly as I took my seat in the drivers seat.
She nodded her head as she went on talking but mind was too distracted to listen to her. But, a particular name made me stop the car and turn around to look at her.
"What did you say?" I asked.
"Uncle Harry took me to a park-"
"No. Not that. About who you met at the cafè." I quickly cut her off with my question.
"Uncle Harry was in the washroom and a man sat beside me. He was Uncle Harry's friend." She said with furrowed eyebrows, thinking back to that day.
"What was his name?"
"Nee...Nail...I don't know." She pouted as realisation hit me.
Lia met Niall. Then Niall probably he knows she's his daughter. I turn around and start driving to wherever the road took me. How come he hasn't confronted me yet? Does this mean he knows that I'm in London? All of my thoughts clatter around as I keep driving around the city.
In an hour, he will be married and the news will be all over London. The whole fandom will be celebrating by posting millions of pictures. No matter wherever I go, I might end up getting caught in the news. There is only one place I know, I can be safe. Away from all the mayhem.
I quickly cut the corner and start driving away from the city.
As we reach the place, I turn down the engine and check on Lia who was asleep in the backseat. Now that I am here, I need to find a way to enter the house. I remember him telling me once, that there's always a spare key hidden in the backyard flowerbed. But, it's been years, maybe he might have changed it. As I walk inside the gate, I notice another car, parked in the garage. It's the same black Range Rover, I recognise all too well. It can only mean one thing.
Oh my God.
YOU ARE READING
The Fling (N.H.)
Fanfiction"I was just a Fling." The words leave my mouth merely as a whisper as I slide down the wall, crying hardly. All the tears I held in for years, breaks through. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Two people who...
