Song Recommendation:
Let Her Go by Passenger
Ana left this morning.
She's gone, shattering every piece of hope left in me. Just like that. I never knew she felt that she was merely a fling. Yeah maybe, at that time, it was just a fling for me, but the moment I closed that door, everything came back rushing. At that time, I was too blinded to get back with Amy, that I had to let go of Ana. I genuinely thought to pay her a visit after her finals, because I realised my love for her.
What price did I pay? She was gone. There was no trace of her in that room. It was like, she never existed. Everything was gone. I was determined to track her down, but she changed her number. All of her socials were deactivated. We tried to call her back home, but she wasn't there as well. There was just one person who knew where she was.
"Just Tell Me!" I yelled at Jenna. She knows where Ana is, but she ain't telling anyone. Not even me.
We both took a step forward almost ready to launch at each other. It was a good thing Louis came between us, shoving us apart.
"Mate, calm down." He said with worry in his eyes. But, I couldn't. My heart was beating so rapidly that my chest heaved up and down, in anger.
"Just know," Jenna said through gritted teeth, tears pooling in her eyes, "You are a piece of shit, Niall Horan. You ruined her."
All these bad memories still haunt me as nightmares. To be completely honest, I left Ana because I started to build feelings for her without knowing myself. My mind was telling me not to, but I fell for her. I never thought I could love someone except Amy, but Ana changed it all. I let her go because I was afraid of myself. But the moment I knew, she was nowhere to be found, I realised how badly I've fallen for her. That was the moment, I decided, if life gives me even a slightest bit of chance to make it all better and get back with Ana, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
With time, Amy realised that there was nothing left between us, but she didn't go. I've tried to talk to her about us parting ways, but she always avoided the conversation. It's a good thing, she isn't in the room right now, I have time for my thoughts. But, I am a coward, when have I ever done anything right. After years, I got a chance to make things better with me and Ana, and I screwed it up, by announcing the wedding. The wedding, I am not even the slightest bit interested in.
I swirl the drink in my glass until I couldn't take it anymore. I threw the glass into the fireplace and yelled. It felt like the right thing to do. I feel suffocated.
Louis and Harry barged inside my room, Zayn and Liam flowing behind.
"Niall, what's wrong?" Louis yelled over my yelling.
"YOU FUCKING GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
"NO!" Harry exclaimed.
"YOU NEED TO CLAM YOUR SHIT NIALL!" Zayn followed.
"CALM MY SHIT? SHE FUCKING LEFT ME. AGAIN! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO CALM MY SHIT!?" They all fall silent hearing the desperacy in my voice. "I wanted to make things right." My voice cracked. "I love her." It came out as a whisper when I crashed on the bed.
Liam sat beside me and rubbed my back in a comforting way. "Mate, you can't try to redo the past and ruin the present. It is fate. It's not on us, who we end up with. It's destiny. And I feel, you both are destined to stay apart." His voice angers me more but I keep calm because he is right.
"She's the mother of my child." I said examining everyone's face in the room. Liam's hand on my back freezes as he looks up at everyone. If destiny really wanted to keep us apart, there would've been a continuity to the past. Here, the continuity being Lia.
"What!?" Zayn exclaimed, amusement evident in his voice.
But Harry and Louis just stood there like this wasn't news to them. Their eyes widen as they look at each other rather than me. Have they known all along? The actual fuck!
"Y'all knew." I stated staring at them with a new built anger.
"Niall...she did not want you to know." Louis mumbled slowly making my anger rise up more.
"The fuck guys! She is my bloody daughter! I have all the rights!" I yelled at them. Something in Harry snapped and he quickly walked toward me. Grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, he harshly lifted me up.
"No, you are wrong. You weren't there for her when she needed you. So just saying that you are the father of that girl is such a shame considering the role you've played." His green eyes looked dark and red with anger. "Ana is the one who gets to decide if she wants you in Lia's life or not." He finishes by shoving me down on the bed harshly. He pointed a finger at me and continued, "Look at you, is this really you? Tell me the last time you were actually sober or weren't high. Tell me the last time you smiled. Tell me the last time you laughed out genuinely." When I don't answer, he continues, "See? This is not you Niall. You are already ruining your own life with the awful decision making your brain does, now you wanna hurt a little girl?"
His question confuses me more. Why would I hurt my own daughter? Oh.
"Ana thinks I'll leave them again." I stated as Harry put his finger down and walked back, proving his point.
"Styles, I don't give a single fuck about that. I'm getting my daughter back and no one can stop me." I muttered through gritted teeth, looking dead in his eyes. He was about to say something but Louis spoke.
"Niall, what about Amy?" He puts out the question, I had no answer to. "The girl spent her entire life looking out for your sorry ass, it's no right for her." I hate Louis because he is always right. No matter how much of a bitch Amy is, she never left me.
When all the feelings got overwhelming, without a word, I walked into the washroom, slamming the door shut behind me. I looked into the mirror, and looking at me right back was a person I didn't recognise. The person who went around breaking people's hearts, destroying himself. An alcoholic.
This is definitely not Niall Horan.
All of Harry's previous questions came back rushing to me as I looked more at myself in the mirror. My pent up frustration of past years got the best of me as I shattered the mirror by throwing a hard punch at it. There was a dent in the wall behind due to the action. My knuckles bled as an impact of the damage. There were millions of shattered pieces of glass everywhere and there were millions of reflections of the person I hated the most staring back at me.
I felt helpless and slid down the bathroom wall. All of the memories came rushing to me, until I felt hot liquid slide down my cheeks.
You screwed up Niall, again.
YOU ARE READING
The Fling (N.H.)
Fanfiction"I was just a Fling." The words leave my mouth merely as a whisper as I slide down the wall, crying hardly. All the tears I held in for years, breaks through. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Two people who...
