Mcyt oneshots!||Hermitcraft||afterlife||empires smp||life Series

Vent AU||Hey "diary" its me again,||mostly angst but hurt/comfort

I don't want to always write that this isn't my main au it's a projection au but there will obviously be people who don't get it,

PoV jimmy

Hey diary it's me again, if you don't remember me, it's me Jim, you aren't really my diary , just my sketchbook or notebook, good hood when did all this start again? I'm gonna run myself through it, and you as well obviously

It all started at the beginning of 8th grade, I got in a class with Joel, Fwhip, Katherine, and gem, 8-B. God I hated it there, it was nothing like 7-B I loved it there.

Long Story Short? Katherine was always jealous of gem, gem was manipulative, Joel could NOT let shit go, and Fwhip was gaslighting

Secondly, Lizzie,
How's it going Liz,
if you find this and your reading it, sorry for calling your girlfriend manipulative but I cannot lie about how toxic we were, I know you guys are doing great but you have zero empathy for how she treated me, i love you lizzie, I really wish that you care about me as much as you care about Your girlfriend Gem or your sister, pearl, who btw is straight up fucking awful,

Hey joel,
Listen your my best friend and I feel as so you have other people to talk to more than me, and we're drifting Apart, I love and I always will, it's just that, I haven't thought of music group, us, for so long my mental health was actually a bit better, and then you brought up how you wanted a reunion, and that just made my heart drop, I'm a good friend ofc I asked gem for you, ofc I obliged and said sure, I don't want to hurt you but please think before saying anything to me, you know I haven't healed properly and that I want to forget but it's so hard if you keep bringing it up!

Katherine,
I know how much you want to add me on Pinterest and that you've asked Joel COUNTLESS times, but there's no fucking point of  asking me to unblock you if you don't try to talk to me in school,
I have never ignored you I've always been kind,
And this is the thanks I get? Umm yeah Buh Bye im glad your going,

Fwhip
We're on good terms we talk and shit but your quite awful sometimes,
I can't stress it enough
I struggle being friends with you
I'm excited that your leaving
Good fucking god please leave.

Thanks for listening diary,

Felt nice to let it all out, what else happened, oh yeah, school year shortened, I have 2 months left in the 9th grade... i literally started stressing crying and panicking over friends in the 8th grade! This has been going on for what? 2 FUCKING YEARS... a year from now, like actual year not academic but real fucking year, I'm in the 11th grade, and I'll only have 8 months of the 10th. I  feel uneasy

[time skip]

"Jimmy I'm soo very really sorry"  Shelby said, in quite mocking way, it sounded fake, ill and rude.

however I'm curious as fuck, so I reply "Sorry for what exactly?"  It sounded empathetic but like I was egotistic and expected it, I didn't

"For talking shit about you"

"What the fuck did you say exactly, Shelby." I sounded stern, strict.

"I said you we're annoying and some other things" she was giggling, she admitted to talking shit about me and laughed and said sorry!?

I'm standing in front of her, I lean down and hit my hand on it, nit very hard but hard enough to make a sound" I can't fucking accept that and you know it! Ok!? What you did was plain shitty. You almost got Lizzie to hate me! And before you say shit like ''oh but she's my best friend!'' I was her best friend first ok!? I was there for her during darkest times! You didn't cheer her up when she broke down crying from all the bullying, all the pressure, everything. You weren't there for her" I said it, all of it, in pure anger and distress, I looked like I was gonna cry, I left her shocked,

"It's fine. I'm only apologising because I found out you were nice this year and I want to be good religiously,"

"I'm not very religious. But do you know what I know that you're CLEARLY DONT FUCKING KNOW? is that god will only accept it if your being genuine and if I accept it, oh would ya look at that! I haven't accepted it and you mocked the apology! Yea have a good day, Shelby grace."

[time skip]

Dear diary this? Dear diary that. Ok wonderful! Splendid! smashing! I hate Shelby grace I hate her!

Why does she have to be that way.

I apologised to gem, she said sorry back,  we're good now, I was talking to Fwhip about that and he said, "she doesn't mean it" she is a religious girl, she swore to god, and heaven that she meant it, that's when Fwhip fucked I up,

Fwhip

erm
~
hate to break it to u
~
but be friends w/ me or her
~
pick yoir choice
~
i wont mind if u pick her

What? Why?
~
This is the Owen thing all over again
I was told i cant be Friends with you if I was friends with Owen with led me to spiral because I can't choose
It hurt my mental health so much
~
Good fucking god
~
No I'm not fucking Choosing, because of these reasons,
~
A.)I'm choosing to be kind and friends with laisha LIKE I DID TO YOU.
~
B.)This exact thing made me cry after coming from linda's birthday
~
C.)making me choose is toxic and you know it

sorry but
~
Ik
~
It's toxic,

Fine,
~
If your making me choose might as well choose the person WHO'S NOT MAKING ME CHOOSE
~
Have a good day, Fwhip.

No please wait, Jim I'm sorry I'm not making you choose,

Whatever just stop acting like me being friends with someone YOU don't like will make your whole world collapse,

I felt a tap on my spine, I look back to see, It was my little brother, grian was reading over my shoulder, "Tim... please stop talking to them. You've gotten so much better without them... your mental health will start to decking again.." I wouldn't mind him seeing these texts, he was the most supportive other than scar and skizz during all this, yeah I love Scott, but he doesn't know what to do, ren can't comfort people well so does martyn, grian was there for me every day

"I know.. I just felt like i needed to say sorry"

He hugs me, and smiles, taking away my phone and charging it, "Oh good god James, you have nothing to apologise for it wasn't your fault, in my opinion in wasn't I know you think differently" he was right, but also wrong, I think differently but I KNEW it was mostly my fault, "Listen man, I love you, saying sorry is good, but only if it's actually your fault which it wasn't! Now come on, BigB and Netty are calling us, we gotta go we can't be late to another lunch with them! Besides, Netty loves listening to these things that happen to you, it's because your always happy about them when speaking like it's a joke, and she likes seeing you happy,"

I don't know what I'd do without grian, he's my brother, my best friend, my FIRST friend.