More than friends-fluff,smut,and angst jake x johnnie fanfic.-

Caught

A/N:there is sh and nsfw mention in this chapter!
Jakes pov-
I noticed johnnie was being different,he was acting happier than before which im extremely happy about but something just feels off. I refuse to have any sex with johnnie until im certain this whole thing is over. Ive been releasing any sexual tension inside me by jerking off. I have no problem with it honestly and i talked to johnnie about it and he said he'd prefer if it stayed like this until he feels better. I realized i was being extremely clingy after the whole thing so ive just been laying off of johnnie a lot less than before,but ever since i have been he's been taking a lot more bathroom breaks than usual. And i feel like i already know whats happening. I went through his dirty pile of clothes on his floor,eventually finding pants with blood stains. I sighed and found johnnie,holding them up. "Whats this?" I asked pointing to the blood. Johnnie stayed silent before sobbing again. I quickly embraced johnnie into my arms. "im sorry jake. I promised i havent done it since. Im trying to stop not for myself but for you." Johnnie sobbed into my chest. It made me a little happier knowing he hasnt done it again. But my heart ached for him. I didnt know what to do,what do i say? I guess i didnt have to say anything really since he finished crying as we both sat in silence,he asked to cuddle and i agreed. I woke up likely hours later,johnnie was gone and i was in his bed alone. I got up and looked for him. I found him in the living room laying on the couch just on his phone. He didnt look too sad so i just let him be despite the interaction we had earlier. I did give him a small kiss on the cheek before announcing that i was gonna go get food. "do you want to come?" I asked. He nodded no looking up at me then his phone again. I noticed he was chuckling a lot at his phone aswell as smiling. I dismissed this as him just feeling better before leaving. I texted him asking what he wanted,it took him a bit to text back,luckily i had already ordered the exact thing for him.
Jake-8:45 pm
Hey what do you want from McDonald's?
Johnnie-9:05 pm
Sorry i didnt see your text just chicken nuggets and a sweet tea thanks
Odd. He usually responds so fast. And his text seems so rushed? Is he okay? I drive home and open the door. Hes still on the couch still giggling at his phone. I shoot him a confused look before giving him his food and drink. I take my own before going to my room. I didnt touch my food as i sat down,spiraling into my own thought. Whats johnnie doing? Whats funny..? I feel myself slowly get more sad. I think about johnnie and how he cut himself. Maybe i should try that? No that crazy. Why would i even think about doing something like that? I find myself crying on the bathroom floor as blood runs down my arms. Why the fuck would i do this to myself? I rinsed the blood off my arms before bandaging myself up. I already knew how to deal with self harm since ive been with johnnie through some tough times before. I felt horrible. What if johnnie found out? Oh my god these are things im supposed to think about before! I slipped on a long sleeve. I typically dont wear long sleeves but i think i could make up some sort of lie about it,like i was cold. I laid down in my bed. Thinking about my decision. I reached for my phone but it wasnt in my pocket. Fuck i left it on the counter. I got up and felt nervous as i opened my door. Johnnie was still on the couch just in a different position now. He asked me something but i didnt respond. I didnt even hear him. My eyes scanned the room for my phone since it wasnt on the counter. I spotted it on the couch arm next to johnnie. I walked over to him grabbing it before johnnie asked "why did you change?" "Because it was uncomfortable and i was cold." I said quickly,putting my phone into my pocket and quickly going to my room again. I guess johnnie mustve noticed how nervous i seemed since he came into my room,finally putting his phone down. I feel like im being a horrible boyfriend,johnnies allowed to laugh and smile at his phone. It couldve just been a really funny video! I feel better realizing it honestly couldve just been a funny video,until johnnie spoke. "Oh yeah jake me and kyle got back in touch again!" Dont get me wrong,kyle isnt a bad person,but i feel like someone from his past coming into the present might ruin his mental state even more than it already is. "Jake? You okay?" Johnnie said,snapping me out of my thought. "Yeah just thinking,sorry." "Mhm." Johnnie said,getting in bed with me. I hugged johnnie,but the touch made my cuts sting. I let out a sharp ouch and johnnie looked confused. I hugged johnnie and tried my best to ignore the pain,but it stung so so bad. I felt tears creeping up on me. "Im gonna use the bathroom." I said,unwrapping my arms from him slowly to not cause me anymore pain. I got up and walked to the bathroom,my head hanging low as i stared at my feet shuffle towards the bathroom. I looked at the bathroom and realized i forgot to clean up the blood from earlier. "fuck..." i mumbled. I swear i heard johnnie getting closer to the door so i shut and locked it. Am i hiding from my boyfriend right now? No. Im not hiding myself,im hiding my secrets. Im hiding the truth. Am i bad boyfriend for that? Ive always wanted to be johnnies soulmate,but maybe were just not that compatible for each other. I love him so so much dont get me wrong. But do i really love him if i hide these kind of things from him?  What if its not me. Maybe its him? No. Johnnies innocent here. A saint even. And if hes a saint then im satan. Fuck is wrong with me? Just clean up the goddamn blood and get out. I wipe tears away,thoughts littered my mind. Im snapped out of my thought when johnnie bangs harshly on the door. "JAKE? WHATS GOING ON?!" Johnnie yelled out,he sounded panicked. I cleaned up the blood as quick as i could,flushing it and opening the door. "Jake! Are you okay?!" Johnnie yelped,pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back,acting confused. "What? Are you okay?" I asked,more worried for him than myself. "Jake youve been in the bathroom for ages. I could hear you crying so i knocked on the door and it was locked. You were worrying me." Johnnie said as he buried his head into the crook of my neck. "Im sorry. I just got lost into some thoughts and you kno-" i said before johnnie cut me off.

"Is that blood?"