mint box - wontaro

ch. 12 - little talk

wonbin

forgive u for what? U haven't done anything wrong
and sure, I can delete this conversation. what did your mom talk to u abt?

shotaro scanned around the room. his mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner, so he was safe for now.

i have something to tell you, but i'll tell you at school, okay?

alright

monday

sungchan's face lit up once he saw shotaro sit down at their lunch table, but was surprised to see the boy barely look up from his food. "hey, taro, are you okay?" he waved in front of his best friend.

shotaro gestured for sungchan to come over to his side of the table. he cupped his hand over sungchan's ear. "my mom found out about my crush on wonbin."

sungchan gasped. "holy shit."

"yeah. now i can't hang out with him anymore without her supervision." the blonde boy poked at his macaroni with a pout. "i just thought that i had a chance with wonbin. guess i don't now."

sungchan frowned, and before shotaro could say anything further, started booking it to the library. "where are you going?!" shotaro yelled, but no response came. he sighed, sitting back down and taking a bite of his macaroni.

sungchan came back about a minute later, having pushed wonbin through the library until they reached the lunch table. he heaved some long, exaggerated breaths. "i...have...the guy. talk..to him."

wonbin smiled at shotaro. "what's up? i remember you said you had something to tell me." the older boy froze out of nervousness. he quickly rummaged through his backpack, seeking out his notebook. he flipped it open and sifted through the pages with haste. tapping on a specific page, he silently recited the words.

"hurry the fuck up, taro!" sungchan slapped the said boy's shoulder. "i don't got all day and i expect your little talk to only take about ten minutes!"

shotaro nodded, making eye contact with wonbin. "right. wonbin, let's take a walk." the black-haired boy shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets.

-

the boys ran up the stairs, the route they would usually take to their history class, until shotaro sat down on a wooden bench, patting the space next to him for wonbin to sit. "well, there's no real way to explain this, but i guess...i came out to my mom? in a way?"

wonbin's jaw dropped. "what? really? congratulations!" he clapped his hands, a wave of pride washing over him.

"uh, well, my mom is just a tiny bit...conservative when it comes to the lgbtq community. uneducated, maybe? i don't know." the blonde awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "anyway, her reaction wasn't necessarily thrilled. i kinda overreacted yesterday about it."

"oh. well," wonbin patted his friend's back. "i'll be here to support you every step of the way! even if it's fighting your mom for you or something." he opened his arms, which shotaro leaned into, a comfortable smile stuck on his face.

the older boy let go, his cheeks reddening once he realized how close they were. he gulped, but for some reason, wonbin didn't break eye contact. he blinked confusedly.

"hah! got you! i win!" he spun on his heel to walk downstairs. "by the way, do you want to come to my house sometime? hang out?"

shotaro pressed his lips into a line. the words of his mother echoed inside his mind. they tore him apart inside bit by bit, breaking apart his identity. "i-i can't. i'm sorry."

"what? why?" the shift in wonbin's tone only broke shotaro even more. he hated the tight promise that he had no choice but to keep with his mom. his eyes were wide, waiting for shotaro's reply, and that's when shotaro started to notice everything about him. the rise and fall of his chest, his tongue that slightly poked out of his mouth, topped off with his messy hair.

at that moment, nothing his mom said had mattered. he was in love with this boy, whether he liked it or not, and he was going to let him know somehow.

pushing off the bench with his hands and standing up, shotaro took a deep breath. he gazed at wonbin. shotaro was good at expressing emotions through his eyes, the windows to his soul. at that moment, he wanted to let wonbin know that he was doing this solely for himself, and nobody but himself.

"i like you, park wonbin. those words i texted you at my party, those were all true. something about getting drunk is that a lot of your true feelings just spew out with 'no filter', as sungchan says. i'm just saying this to get it out there."

they both maintained the eye contact, frozen in time and only the harsh wind passing through. shotaro stared down at his friend, holding no regrets whatsoever. wonbin opened his mouth.

"i-i don't..." he stuttered. "i...i have to think about it. sorry."

shotaro smiled. "yeah, it's okay. take all the time you need. i don't really expect much."